All Fours
Chapter 6
by July;, MirandaThe chapter opens with the protagonist lying motionless in a hotel bed, savoring the rare absence of responsibility. Freed from the daily demands of parenting—making meals,催促孩子穿鞋刷牙—she embraces the weightlessness of solitude. Her reverie is interrupted by a housekeeper named Helen, who informs her she’s overdue for checkout. Unfazed, the protagonist opts to pay for another day, declining housekeeping services. This scene underscores her deliberate withdrawal from routine and her reluctance to reengage with structure.
Later, she visits an antique mall, drawn to a luxurious salmon-colored bedspread from the 1920s. A negotiation with the older female seller sparks a surge of irrational hatred, which quickly shifts to grudging admiration. The protagonist’s internal conflict reveals her insecurities about aging and self-worth. Despite initially lowballing the price, she pays the full $200, later reflecting on the seller’s shrewdness and her own impulsive bargaining. The transaction becomes a metaphor for her broader struggles with desire and self-denial.
After purchasing the bedspread, she takes it to a dry cleaner, grounding her otherwise aimless day with a tangible commitment. The errand lends her a fleeting sense of purpose, though she muses on the fragility of her plans. Returning to the hotel, she unpacks, steaming her clothes and curating outfits that balance vintage and modern styles. Her meticulous attention to fashion reflects a deeper anxiety about being perceived as outdated or irrelevant, particularly by younger generations.
The chapter closes with her wandering Monrovia in a red shirtwaist dress, observing teenage girls with a mix of detachment and unease. Her self-consciousness about aging culminates in a performative act: pretending to be a foreigner to avoid judgment. This final gesture encapsulates her existential dissonance—caught between craving freedom and grappling with invisibility, between past desires and present realities.
FAQs
1. How does the narrator describe her experience of sudden freedom from domestic responsibilities in the hotel room?
Answer:
The narrator describes the absence of domestic duties as a “floaty, frothy, almost hallucinogenic weightlessness.” She contrasts this with her usual morning routine of preparing meals, packing lunches, and managing her children’s tasks like putting on shoes and brushing teeth. The relief from these responsibilities creates a surreal sense of liberation, allowing her to lie motionless for hours without guilt, as she frames this inactivity as still contributing to her broader goal (presumably her journey or personal growth).2. Analyze the narrator’s shifting attitudes toward the antique dealer during their interaction about the bedspread. What does this reveal about her character?
Answer:
The narrator initially feels intense hatred toward the older woman for what she perceives as arbitrary pricing (“these ‘free spirits’ who thought they could just invent the value of things”). However, this quickly shifts to admiration when she recognizes the dealer’s confidence and experience (“Who better to decide the worth of things?”). This whiplash reflects the narrator’s internal conflict—her tendency to judge harshly but also her capacity for self-awareness and humility. Her eventual willingness to pay full price, despite feeling slighted, underscores her desire for validation and her complex relationship with aging and authority.3. What significance does the narrator attach to clothing and appearance in this chapter, particularly regarding age?
Answer:
The narrator meticulously curates her wardrobe to avoid appearing dated or “mistaken for an elderly woman wearing clothes from the 1960s of her youth.” She emphasizes balancing vintage pieces with modern elements to signal contemporaneity, reflecting her anxiety about aging and invisibility. Her mention of Patti Smith’s album cover—misinterpreting black-and-white photography as a sign of historical distance—highlights how unconscious biases shape perceptions of age. Her method of checking her outfit via a “blur” in the mirror further reveals her preoccupation with how others might perceive her vitality and relevance.4. How does the narrator’s encounter with the housekeeper, Helen, contrast with her interaction with the antique dealer?
Answer:
With Helen, the narrator is passive and indifferent, barely engaging despite Helen’s directness about checkout times and cleaning services. In contrast, her interaction with the antique dealer is charged with emotional volatility—resentment, negotiation, and eventual submission. This juxtaposition reveals the narrator’s selective investment in relationships: she dismisses service workers but becomes deeply entangled with those who symbolize aspects of herself (e.g., the dealer as an older, confident woman). Helen’s practicality (“Checkout is eleven o’clock”) also starkly contrasts with the dealer’s subjective valuation of the bedspread, highlighting different modes of authority.5. Critical Thinking: The narrator mentions “walking the wrong way” as a metaphor for her life choices. How does this chapter explore themes of agency and randomness?
Answer:
The narrator reflects on how little effort it took to arrive at her current state (“I had done almost nothing to end up here”). Her dry-cleaning claim stub becomes a flimsy placeholder for purpose, underscoring the fragility of self-constructed meaning. The bedspread purchase—an impulsive yet deeply symbolic act—exemplifies how her desires clash with practicality. The chapter suggests that her journey is less a deliberate quest than a series of accidents, revealing her simultaneous craving for control (e.g., curating her appearance) and her surrender to chaos (e.g., extending her hotel stay). This tension mirrors broader existential questions about choice and chance.
Quotes
1. “The sudden absence of responsibility was a floaty, frothy, almost hallucinogenic weightlessness. No one to make breakfast for, no need to pack a five-part bento box lunch, no need to yell Put on your shoes! Brush your teeth!”
This quote captures the protagonist’s revelatory experience of freedom from domestic responsibilities, using vivid sensory language to convey the surreal relief of escaping routine. It establishes the chapter’s central theme of self-discovery through liberation from expected roles.
2. “It was the sort of very feminine and decadent thing I’d wanted my whole life; I was so good at knowing what I wanted and then choosing something else at the very last second.”
This introspective moment reveals the protagonist’s lifelong pattern of self-denial regarding desires, particularly around femininity and indulgence. The bedspread becomes symbolic of both her aspirations and her self-sabotaging tendencies.
3. “Sometimes my hatred of older women almost knocked me over, it came on so abruptly. These ‘free spirits’ who thought they could just invent the value of things.”
This raw admission exposes the protagonist’s complex relationship with aging and female authority. The sudden emotional shift from hatred to admiration that follows demonstrates her evolving perspective on maturity and self-worth.
4. “Everyone thinks they’re so securely bound into their lives. Really I had done almost nothing to end up here. I had walked the wrong way around the block and then gone the wrong direction on the freeway.”
This philosophical reflection highlights the chapter’s existential theme about the fragility of identity and life paths. The protagonist recognizes how easily conventional existence can be disrupted or reinvented.
5. “A good way to check your outfit is by running past the mirror, or better yet, make a video of yourself running past your phone. How old was that blur of a woman? Was she from the past or was she modern? And where was she going in such a hurry?”
This metaphorical passage beautifully encapsulates the protagonist’s anxiety about aging and relevance. The imagery of the “blur” represents her struggle to define herself between past and present identities.