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    All Fours

    by July;, Miranda
    Miranda July’s 2024 novel All Fours follows a 45-year-old semi-famous artist who disrupts her stable Los Angeles life with her husband and child by impulsively announcing a cross-country road trip. The journey becomes a catalyst for self-discovery as she grapples with midlife crises, sexual awakening, and perimenopause, culminating in an unexpected affair. Blending humor and poignancy, the novel explores themes of desire, identity, and the search for reinvention in middle age. July’s autofictional style and candid portrayal of female experience have drawn comparisons to a “perimenopause novel,” marking it as a distinctive entry in contemporary literature.
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    All Fours

    Chapter 17

    by July;, Miranda

    The chap­ter opens with the pro­tag­o­nist reflect­ing on her phys­i­cal progress dur­ing a work­out ses­sion with her train­er, Brett, and fel­low gym-goer, Scar­lett. She notes her increased strength, from lift­ing heav­ier weights to car­ry­ing gro­ceries with ease, and observes sub­tle changes in her body. A moment of self-aware­ness strikes as she stands naked before a mir­ror with her part­ner, Sam, who remarks that she appears “taller,” sym­bol­iz­ing her grow­ing con­fi­dence and trans­for­ma­tion.

    Lat­er, the pro­tag­o­nist plans a return trip to the Excel­sior hotel, this time inform­ing her hus­band, Har­ris, about her stay. Their con­ver­sa­tion reveals the strained yet per­mis­sive dynam­ic in their rela­tion­ship, as Har­ris, though puz­zled, ulti­mate­ly sup­ports her deci­sion. The pro­tag­o­nist ratio­nal­izes her actions as a tem­po­rary indul­gence that might ulti­mate­ly ben­e­fit their mar­riage, hint­ing at an under­ly­ing affair or per­son­al explo­ration.

    At the Excel­sior, the hotel man­ag­er, Skip, sur­pris­es her by offer­ing the room for free indef­i­nite­ly, cit­ing its pop­u­lar­i­ty and unique design. This ges­ture unset­tles her, expos­ing her dis­com­fort with unearned priv­i­leges and moral ambi­gu­i­ty. Skip’s gen­eros­i­ty con­trasts with her guilt, as she grap­ples with the idea of recur­ring vis­its, which she asso­ciates with her secre­tive plans.

    The chap­ter con­cludes with Skip humor­ous­ly book­ing her for every Wednes­day indef­i­nite­ly, rein­forc­ing the protagonist’s dual sense of excite­ment and unease. The recur­ring reser­va­tion sym­bol­izes her com­mit­ment to the affair or per­son­al project, blur­ring the lines between free­dom and reck­less­ness. The exchange under­scores her inter­nal con­flict as she nav­i­gates desire, guilt, and the con­se­quences of her choic­es.

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    FAQs

    • 1. How does the narrator’s physical transformation through weightlifting manifest in her daily life and self-perception?

      Answer:
      The narrator experiences significant physical changes from consistent weight training, evidenced by her increased strength (progressing from 8 to 80-pound weights) and improved ease in daily tasks like carrying groceries. She notes a shift in her relationship with her body—feeling lighter and more buoyant, as if “gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.” This transformation is also reflected in her growing confidence, as she switches from baggy clothes to form-fitting workout attire and openly examines her body in the mirror. The chapter highlights how physical strength translates into a heightened sense of agency and self-awareness.

      2. Analyze the significance of the narrator’s interaction with Harris about staying at the Excelsior. What does this reveal about their relationship dynamics?

      Answer:
      The interaction exposes the emotional distance and unspoken negotiations in their marriage. Harris’s passive response (“Have fun”) and the narrator’s internal justification—framing her affair as a means to “break through” for their future—reveal mutual avoidance of deeper issues. Harris’s reliance on technology (headphones) symbolizes their communication barriers, while the narrator manipulates the situation by exploiting his disinterest in her work. Their dynamic is transactional: Harris maintains a facade of fairness, while the narrator seeks autonomy without confrontation, highlighting the relationship’s fragility.

      3. What does Skip’s offer of free access to the hotel room symbolize about the narrator’s evolving moral boundaries?

      Answer:
      Skip’s gesture—giving her a permanent key and recurring reservations—represents both generosity and complicity in her infidelity. The narrator’s initial discomfort (“very hung up about property and ownership”) reveals her struggle with guilt, as she clings to legalistic notions of fairness to justify her actions. However, her quick acceptance of the arrangement (“no end to the Wednesdays”) and glee at the affair’s logistical ease underscore her moral compromise. The room becomes a metaphor for her escalating self-deception: a space where she can simultaneously indulge in and rationalize her choices.

      4. How does the mirror motif function in this chapter, particularly in the scene where the narrator and Sam observe their changing bodies?

      Answer:
      The mirror scenes reflect (literally and figuratively) themes of identity and transformation. When the narrator and Sam stand naked together, their mutual acknowledgment of change—Sam’s gentle comment (“You’re taller”)—highlights vulnerability and intimacy. For the narrator, the mirror initially serves as a tool for self-critique but evolves into a space of acceptance. In contrast, Sam’s presence introduces innocence, subtly contrasting with the narrator’s secretive plans. The mirror thus becomes a dual symbol: a site of honest self-appraisal and a reminder of the diverging paths between her inner and outer selves.

      5. Critically evaluate the narrator’s justification for her affair. How does she reconcile her actions with her roles as a partner and parent?

      Answer:
      The narrator employs self-serving logic to justify her affair, framing it as a “last hurrah” that will ultimately benefit her marriage (by satiating her libido) and her parenting (by returning before Sam gets home). She rationalizes the deception by emphasizing Harris’s non-controlling nature and her own need for autonomy, yet ignores the emotional consequences. Her claim to be “doing this for us” reveals cognitive dissonance: she prioritizes immediate desire over long-term trust. The chapter critiques her flawed reasoning by juxtaposing her meticulous planning with the superficiality of her moral calculations.

    Quotes

    • 1. “I floated around as if gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.”

      This poetic description captures the protagonist’s physical transformation through weightlifting, illustrating how her newfound strength has altered her perception of her own body and movement. It represents a key moment of self-awareness in her fitness journey.

      2. “Harris wasn’t controlling. At worst he was like a king who wanted his subjects to think he was fair. At best he wanted me to be happy.”

      This insightful observation about the protagonist’s partner reveals the complex dynamics of their relationship as she prepares to embark on an affair. It shows both her awareness of his good qualities and her rationalization of her own actions.

      3. “It seemed I could not handle the fluid sense in which this room was mine and always would be. As if I didn’t trust myself, my ability to be moral, unless I was legally bound.”

      This profound reflection exposes the protagonist’s internal conflict about ownership and morality as she receives unlimited access to the hotel room. It highlights her growing awareness of her own ethical boundaries and self-doubt.

      4. “He scrolled down to show me there was no end to the Wednesdays, which was actually too much sex with Davey.”

      This blunt realization combines practical logistics with emotional honesty, revealing both the protagonist’s excitement about her affair and her emerging awareness of its potential excesses. The moment marks a turning point in her planning.

    Quotes

    1. “I floated around as if gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.”

    This poetic description captures the protagonist’s physical transformation through weightlifting, illustrating how her newfound strength has altered her perception of her own body and movement. It represents a key moment of self-awareness in her fitness journey.

    2. “Harris wasn’t controlling. At worst he was like a king who wanted his subjects to think he was fair. At best he wanted me to be happy.”

    This insightful observation about the protagonist’s partner reveals the complex dynamics of their relationship as she prepares to embark on an affair. It shows both her awareness of his good qualities and her rationalization of her own actions.

    3. “It seemed I could not handle the fluid sense in which this room was mine and always would be. As if I didn’t trust myself, my ability to be moral, unless I was legally bound.”

    This profound reflection exposes the protagonist’s internal conflict about ownership and morality as she receives unlimited access to the hotel room. It highlights her growing awareness of her own ethical boundaries and self-doubt.

    4. “He scrolled down to show me there was no end to the Wednesdays, which was actually too much sex with Davey.”

    This blunt realization combines practical logistics with emotional honesty, revealing both the protagonist’s excitement about her affair and her emerging awareness of its potential excesses. The moment marks a turning point in her planning.

    FAQs

    1. How does the narrator’s physical transformation through weightlifting manifest in her daily life and self-perception?

    Answer:
    The narrator experiences significant physical changes from consistent weight training, evidenced by her increased strength (progressing from 8 to 80-pound weights) and improved ease in daily tasks like carrying groceries. She notes a shift in her relationship with her body—feeling lighter and more buoyant, as if “gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.” This transformation is also reflected in her growing confidence, as she switches from baggy clothes to form-fitting workout attire and openly examines her body in the mirror. The chapter highlights how physical strength translates into a heightened sense of agency and self-awareness.

    2. Analyze the significance of the narrator’s interaction with Harris about staying at the Excelsior. What does this reveal about their relationship dynamics?

    Answer:
    The interaction exposes the emotional distance and unspoken negotiations in their marriage. Harris’s passive response (“Have fun”) and the narrator’s internal justification—framing her affair as a means to “break through” for their future—reveal mutual avoidance of deeper issues. Harris’s reliance on technology (headphones) symbolizes their communication barriers, while the narrator manipulates the situation by exploiting his disinterest in her work. Their dynamic is transactional: Harris maintains a facade of fairness, while the narrator seeks autonomy without confrontation, highlighting the relationship’s fragility.

    3. What does Skip’s offer of free access to the hotel room symbolize about the narrator’s evolving moral boundaries?

    Answer:
    Skip’s gesture—giving her a permanent key and recurring reservations—represents both generosity and complicity in her infidelity. The narrator’s initial discomfort (“very hung up about property and ownership”) reveals her struggle with guilt, as she clings to legalistic notions of fairness to justify her actions. However, her quick acceptance of the arrangement (“no end to the Wednesdays”) and glee at the affair’s logistical ease underscore her moral compromise. The room becomes a metaphor for her escalating self-deception: a space where she can simultaneously indulge in and rationalize her choices.

    4. How does the mirror motif function in this chapter, particularly in the scene where the narrator and Sam observe their changing bodies?

    Answer:
    The mirror scenes reflect (literally and figuratively) themes of identity and transformation. When the narrator and Sam stand naked together, their mutual acknowledgment of change—Sam’s gentle comment (“You’re taller”)—highlights vulnerability and intimacy. For the narrator, the mirror initially serves as a tool for self-critique but evolves into a space of acceptance. In contrast, Sam’s presence introduces innocence, subtly contrasting with the narrator’s secretive plans. The mirror thus becomes a dual symbol: a site of honest self-appraisal and a reminder of the diverging paths between her inner and outer selves.

    5. Critically evaluate the narrator’s justification for her affair. How does she reconcile her actions with her roles as a partner and parent?

    Answer:
    The narrator employs self-serving logic to justify her affair, framing it as a “last hurrah” that will ultimately benefit her marriage (by satiating her libido) and her parenting (by returning before Sam gets home). She rationalizes the deception by emphasizing Harris’s non-controlling nature and her own need for autonomy, yet ignores the emotional consequences. Her claim to be “doing this for us” reveals cognitive dissonance: she prioritizes immediate desire over long-term trust. The chapter critiques her flawed reasoning by juxtaposing her meticulous planning with the superficiality of her moral calculations.

    Note