All Fours
Chapter 24
by July;, MirandaThe chapter follows the protagonist and Jordi as they attend a gallery opening in North Hollywood, hoping to see artist Lore Estes, who doesn’t show up. Instead, they encounter Kris, Lore’s ex-girlfriend and muse, whose artwork resembles Lore’s. A subtle, unspoken tension develops between the protagonist and Kris, marked by fleeting eye contact and mutual curiosity. Jordi encourages the protagonist to seize the moment, leading her to message Kris and ask her out. The bold move pays off when Kris responds affirmatively, sparking excitement and anticipation.
In preparation for the date, the protagonist meticulously plans every detail, from selecting the right cannabis strains to enhance intimacy to practicing seductive gestures like slowly unsnapping a skirt. She approaches the encounter with the same intensity as past significant life events, reflecting her desire to make a strong impression. Despite her thorough preparations, she feels an eerie calm just before Kris arrives, as if all her nerves have dissipated, leaving her emotionally detached.
The date begins awkwardly, with stilted conversation and uncertainty about mutual attraction. For hours, neither makes a move, leaving the protagonist questioning whether Kris sees this as a romantic encounter. Just as she resigns herself to disappointment, Kris admits her nervousness and breaks the tension by inviting physical closeness. This moment marks a turning point, as the protagonist shifts from performative seduction to genuine, exploratory intimacy.
As they finally connect physically, Kris declares her intention to “serve” the protagonist, creating a dynamic where the protagonist feels empowered to simply exist without pressure. She abandons her usual reliance on fantasy and performance, instead focusing on the raw sensation of touch and the novelty of their kisses. The experience feels revelatory, prompting her to reflect on her own past relationships and the universality of desire. The chapter captures the vulnerability and exhilaration of a first encounter that defies expectations.
FAQs
1. How does the protagonist prepare for her date with Kris, and what does this reveal about her character?
Answer:
The protagonist engages in extensive preparation for her date with Kris, including researching and purchasing specialized lubricants, testing cannabis strains for sexual enhancement, practicing seductive techniques like slowly unsnapping a skirt, and maintaining rigorous physical and grooming routines. This meticulous preparation mirrors her previous approaches to major life events (like her cross-country trip or preparing for Davey), revealing her tendency to over-prepare and seek control in uncertain situations. The passage suggests this behavior stems from both anxiety and a desire for perfection in intimate encounters, highlighting her methodical nature and the pressure she puts on herself to perform.2. Analyze the significance of the “kitchen table with dozens of extra legs” artwork in the context of the protagonist’s interaction with Kris.
Answer:
The artwork—a kitchen table with extra legs—serves as a symbolic bridge between Kris and Lore Estes, reflecting the complexities of artistic inspiration and personal relationships. Its similarity to Lore’s work creates tension, as Kris was Lore’s former muse, suggesting themes of imitation, legacy, and unresolved connections. For the protagonist, the table becomes a focal point for her attraction to Kris, who embodies a “sloppy, chic” artistic aesthetic. The shared gaze between them (“weaving a delicate, shivery spiderweb”) implies an unspoken recognition of mutual intrigue, with the artwork acting as a silent mediator in their budding relationship.3. How does the protagonist’s communication with Harris contrast with her interaction with Kris, and what does this reveal about her emotional state?
Answer:
The protagonist’s text exchange with Harris about Sam’s thermos is abrupt and logistical, starkly contrasting with the charged, anticipatory energy of her date with Kris. While Harris represents domestic mundanity (evidenced by his practical question), Kris symbolizes novelty and erotic possibility. The protagonist’s terse reply (“My date is about to arrive”) underscores her compartmentalization of these relationships. Her emotional detachment (“I felt nothing… right before dying”) before Kris’s arrival further reveals her vulnerability—she oscillates between hyper-preparedness and numbness, suggesting fear of intimacy despite her outward confidence.4. Evaluate the protagonist’s decision to “do nothing” during intimacy with Kris. Why is this moment pivotal?
Answer:
The protagonist’s choice to “do nothing”—eschewing performative lust or fantasy—marks a breakthrough in her approach to intimacy. By simply existing beside Kris and allowing touch to unfold organically (“one of my hands migrated over to her hip, completely of its own accord”), she experiences a raw, unscripted connection. This contrasts with her usual reliance on preparation or mental escapism (like “astral-projection”). The moment is pivotal because it represents surrender to authenticity; the description of kissing as being “invented from scratch” emphasizes the novelty of this vulnerability. It subtly parallels her earlier artistic reinvention during her cross-country trip, suggesting personal growth.5. How does the chapter use humor to offset tension in the protagonist’s romantic encounter?
Answer:
Humor surfaces through exaggerated details (e.g., Navy SEAL-style workouts with “hut! hut!” sounds) and ironic self-awareness, as when the protagonist practices “ripping open” her skirt or when Jordi jokes about not crashing the car while reading Kris’s one-word reply (“Yep”). The protagonist’s deadpan observation that introductions would be “uncouth given everything that had already passed between us” (despite never having met Kris) highlights her tendency to dramatize situations. This humor diffuses the inherent awkwardness of first-date nerves and sexual anticipation, making her vulnerabilities more relatable while underscoring the absurdity of her perfectionism.
Quotes
1. “It was a kitchen table with dozens of extra legs, weirdly similar to Lore Estes’s work. Was that awkward? Maybe not. What did I know about the life of a muse?”
This quote captures the protagonist’s observation of artistic imitation and the complex dynamics between artists and muses. It reflects the chapter’s exploration of creative relationships and unspoken tensions in the art world.
2. “That’s the great thrill of it, right? It could be nothing.”
Jordi’s whispered remark encapsulates the electric uncertainty of new romantic possibilities. This moment highlights the chapter’s theme of ambiguous attraction and the excitement of potential connections.
3. “I prepared for Kris as thoroughly as I had prepared for my cross-country trip, as I had prepared for Davey, as I had prepared for the dance.”
This passage reveals the protagonist’s intense ritualization of anticipation, showing how she approaches romantic encounters with the same meticulous preparation as major life events. It underscores her characteristic intensity and self-awareness.
4. “I felt nothing, for her or anyone. Nothing mattered. This was probably how I would feel right before dying; all that worry and anticipation and then right before the end: nothing.”
This striking moment of emotional detachment before the date arrives captures the protagonist’s existential awareness and the paradox of intense preparation followed by sudden numbness.
5. “I thought this might be enough, plenty, but then kissing was invented. From scratch.”
This poetic description of rediscovering physical intimacy conveys the chapter’s central theme of sexual reawakening. The metaphor of reinvention captures the protagonist’s experience of approaching intimacy with fresh perspective.