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    All Fours

    by July;, Miranda
    Miranda July’s 2024 novel All Fours follows a 45-year-old semi-famous artist who disrupts her stable Los Angeles life with her husband and child by impulsively announcing a cross-country road trip. The journey becomes a catalyst for self-discovery as she grapples with midlife crises, sexual awakening, and perimenopause, culminating in an unexpected affair. Blending humor and poignancy, the novel explores themes of desire, identity, and the search for reinvention in middle age. July’s autofictional style and candid portrayal of female experience have drawn comparisons to a “perimenopause novel,” marking it as a distinctive entry in contemporary literature.
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    All Fours

    Chapter 25

    by July;, Miranda

    The chap­ter opens with the nar­ra­tor grap­pling with rumors about her mar­riage to Har­ris, as word spreads about their uncon­ven­tion­al rela­tion­ship dynam­ics. While she resents the assump­tion that they must be divorc­ing, she argues to her friend Jor­di that mar­riage should be flu­id, like par­ent-child rela­tion­ships, rather than a rigid bina­ry. Jor­di, whose part­ner­ship with Mel remains her pri­ma­ry focus, gen­tly reminds the nar­ra­tor that her per­spec­tive may iso­late her as a minor­i­ty view­point. This exchange high­lights the nar­ra­tor’s strug­gle to rec­on­cile soci­etal expec­ta­tions with her per­son­al beliefs about rela­tion­ships.

    Dur­ing a vis­it to Jordi’s art exhi­bi­tion, the nar­ra­tor observes how the gallery space fails to accom­mo­date Jordi’s large-scale sculp­tures, prompt­ing Jor­di to announce her deci­sion to quit her adver­tis­ing job. Their con­ver­sa­tion shifts to hor­mon­al changes and per­i­menopause, as they search online for a graph depict­ing hor­mon­al decline—a metaphor for the nar­ra­tor’s evolv­ing self-per­cep­tion. The nar­ra­tor reflects on how her pre­oc­cu­pa­tion with hor­mon­al shifts has fad­ed, replaced by a detached curios­i­ty, sug­gest­ing her per­son­al growth has altered her rela­tion­ship with her body.

    A mun­dane gro­cery trip takes a sur­re­al turn when the sounds of the store trig­ger a vivid flash­back to the nar­ra­tor’s trau­mat­ic expe­ri­ence in the NICU with her new­born, Sam. The sud­den sen­so­ry mem­o­ry over­whelms her, and Jor­di com­forts her after­ward. This episode under­scores the lin­ger­ing psy­cho­log­i­cal impact of past trau­ma, which resur­faces unpre­dictably in dai­ly life. The nar­ra­tor’s attempt to recon­nect with an online sup­port group for moth­ers who shared sim­i­lar expe­ri­ences fails when she dis­cov­ers the forum has van­ished, leav­ing her feel­ing unteth­ered and iso­lat­ed.

    The chap­ter clos­es with the nar­ra­tor’s qui­et res­ig­na­tion to these losses—both the tan­gi­ble loss of her sup­port com­mu­ni­ty and the intan­gi­ble ero­sion of cer­tain fears and fix­a­tions. Her flash­back and the van­ished online space empha­size the imper­ma­nence of com­fort and the impor­tance of cher­ish­ing fleet­ing con­nec­tions. Mean­while, her evolv­ing views on mar­riage and hor­mones reflect a broad­er theme of per­son­al trans­for­ma­tion, as she nav­i­gates midlife changes with both resilience and vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty.

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    FAQs

    • 1. How does the narrator view divorce in contrast to her ideal vision of marriage?

      Answer:
      The narrator expresses frustration with the binary nature of divorce, arguing that it reinforces the supremacy of marriage as an all-or-nothing institution. She prefers a model where marriage remains important but evolves over time, similar to parent-child relationships. In her view, marriage should start as primary, become less central (which she sees as healthy), and potentially become primary again later in life. This reflects her desire for a more flexible, dynamic approach to relationships rather than rigid societal norms (Chapter 25, pp. 272-273).

      2. What symbolic significance does the “hormone graph” hold for Jordi and the narrator?

      Answer:
      The hormone graph initially represented a steep, alarming decline in hormones during perimenopause, which both women remembered vividly. However, when they search for it later, they find varying diagrams—some gentle, some jagged—suggesting that perceptions of hormonal changes are subjective. This mirrors the narrator’s personal growth: her anxiety about hormonal decline has faded, replaced by acceptance. The graph serves as a metaphor for how women interpret life transitions based on their individual needs and fears (Chapter 25, p. 273).

      3. Analyze the narrator’s flashback in the grocery store. What does this reveal about her unresolved trauma?

      Answer:
      The sudden flashback to her newborn son in the NICU, triggered by the sounds of the cash register, reveals the narrator’s lingering trauma from that experience. The vivid description—Sam covered in cords, the panic over alarms—shows how deeply this memory is etched in her mind. Her reaction (apologizing to the cashier) highlights how trauma can resurface unexpectedly, disrupting the present. This moment underscores the isolation of her experience as an FMH (fetal-maternal hemorrhage) mom and her reliance on the now-defunct online support group (Chapter 25, pp. 274-275).

      4. Why does the disappearance of the FMH moms’ chat group have such an emotional impact on the narrator?

      Answer:
      The chat group was a rare space where the narrator and other FMH moms shared a unique, painful bond. Its disappearance symbolizes the fragility of support systems and the isolation of niche traumas. The narrator regrets taking it for granted, realizing too late that even “modest comfort” mattered. Her reflection—”One should always be asking themselves What if I lost this?“—reveals her grief over losing this connection and her broader struggle to find understanding in a world that overlooks such specific hardships (Chapter 25, p. 275).

      5. How does Jordi’s decision to quit her advertising job reflect the chapter’s themes of transition and risk?

      Answer:
      Jordi’s career shift aligns with the chapter’s exploration of life changes—whether hormonal, relational, or professional. Her five-year plan acknowledges risk but emphasizes the importance of navigating transitions intentionally (“how we make our way down the cliff”). This mirrors the narrator’s own journey through perimenopause and marital redefinition. Both women confront societal expectations (e.g., stable careers, rigid relationships) and choose paths that prioritize personal growth over convention, highlighting the theme of self-determination amid uncertainty (Chapter 25, p. 273).

    Quotes

    • 1. “Divorce only reinforces the supremacy of marriage! You’re either married or you’re not, it’s a binary. Whereas if marriage is important but not the organizing principle, then it can keep changing, the way the parent-child relationship does.”

      This quote captures the protagonist’s unconventional view on marriage, challenging societal norms by comparing it to evolving parent-child relationships. It reflects the chapter’s theme of redefining relationships and personal identity during midlife transitions.

      2. “It was as if the internet provided scientific evidence to mirror any anxiety, no matter how arcane, so it had shifted to reflect me as I was now.”

      A profound observation about how digital information adapts to our psychological states, illustrating the protagonist’s evolving perspective on perimenopause. This marks a turning point in her acceptance of bodily changes.

      3. “Because the comfort was so modest I had assumed I could keep it; I had taken it for granted. One should always be asking themselves What if I lost this? How much would it matter?”

      This poignant reflection on losing the FMH moms’ online community underscores the chapter’s exploration of transient support systems and the importance of appreciating small comforts before they disappear.

      4. “It was never not a shock, like falling down an open manhole.”

      A powerful metaphor describing the protagonist’s flashback to her traumatic NICU experience, illustrating how past trauma can unexpectedly resurface in everyday moments. This represents the chapter’s examination of lingering psychological impacts.

    Quotes

    1. “Divorce only reinforces the supremacy of marriage! You’re either married or you’re not, it’s a binary. Whereas if marriage is important but not the organizing principle, then it can keep changing, the way the parent-child relationship does.”

    This quote captures the protagonist’s unconventional view on marriage, challenging societal norms by comparing it to evolving parent-child relationships. It reflects the chapter’s theme of redefining relationships and personal identity during midlife transitions.

    2. “It was as if the internet provided scientific evidence to mirror any anxiety, no matter how arcane, so it had shifted to reflect me as I was now.”

    A profound observation about how digital information adapts to our psychological states, illustrating the protagonist’s evolving perspective on perimenopause. This marks a turning point in her acceptance of bodily changes.

    3. “Because the comfort was so modest I had assumed I could keep it; I had taken it for granted. One should always be asking themselves What if I lost this? How much would it matter?”

    This poignant reflection on losing the FMH moms’ online community underscores the chapter’s exploration of transient support systems and the importance of appreciating small comforts before they disappear.

    4. “It was never not a shock, like falling down an open manhole.”

    A powerful metaphor describing the protagonist’s flashback to her traumatic NICU experience, illustrating how past trauma can unexpectedly resurface in everyday moments. This represents the chapter’s examination of lingering psychological impacts.

    FAQs

    1. How does the narrator view divorce in contrast to her ideal vision of marriage?

    Answer:
    The narrator expresses frustration with the binary nature of divorce, arguing that it reinforces the supremacy of marriage as an all-or-nothing institution. She prefers a model where marriage remains important but evolves over time, similar to parent-child relationships. In her view, marriage should start as primary, become less central (which she sees as healthy), and potentially become primary again later in life. This reflects her desire for a more flexible, dynamic approach to relationships rather than rigid societal norms (Chapter 25, pp. 272-273).

    2. What symbolic significance does the “hormone graph” hold for Jordi and the narrator?

    Answer:
    The hormone graph initially represented a steep, alarming decline in hormones during perimenopause, which both women remembered vividly. However, when they search for it later, they find varying diagrams—some gentle, some jagged—suggesting that perceptions of hormonal changes are subjective. This mirrors the narrator’s personal growth: her anxiety about hormonal decline has faded, replaced by acceptance. The graph serves as a metaphor for how women interpret life transitions based on their individual needs and fears (Chapter 25, p. 273).

    3. Analyze the narrator’s flashback in the grocery store. What does this reveal about her unresolved trauma?

    Answer:
    The sudden flashback to her newborn son in the NICU, triggered by the sounds of the cash register, reveals the narrator’s lingering trauma from that experience. The vivid description—Sam covered in cords, the panic over alarms—shows how deeply this memory is etched in her mind. Her reaction (apologizing to the cashier) highlights how trauma can resurface unexpectedly, disrupting the present. This moment underscores the isolation of her experience as an FMH (fetal-maternal hemorrhage) mom and her reliance on the now-defunct online support group (Chapter 25, pp. 274-275).

    4. Why does the disappearance of the FMH moms’ chat group have such an emotional impact on the narrator?

    Answer:
    The chat group was a rare space where the narrator and other FMH moms shared a unique, painful bond. Its disappearance symbolizes the fragility of support systems and the isolation of niche traumas. The narrator regrets taking it for granted, realizing too late that even “modest comfort” mattered. Her reflection—”One should always be asking themselves What if I lost this?“—reveals her grief over losing this connection and her broader struggle to find understanding in a world that overlooks such specific hardships (Chapter 25, p. 275).

    5. How does Jordi’s decision to quit her advertising job reflect the chapter’s themes of transition and risk?

    Answer:
    Jordi’s career shift aligns with the chapter’s exploration of life changes—whether hormonal, relational, or professional. Her five-year plan acknowledges risk but emphasizes the importance of navigating transitions intentionally (“how we make our way down the cliff”). This mirrors the narrator’s own journey through perimenopause and marital redefinition. Both women confront societal expectations (e.g., stable careers, rigid relationships) and choose paths that prioritize personal growth over convention, highlighting the theme of self-determination amid uncertainty (Chapter 25, p. 273).

    Note