All Fours
Chapter 3
by July;, MirandaIn Chapter 3, the protagonist and her friend Jordi share a candid conversation over milkshakes, revealing intimate details about their sex lives. The protagonist admits to using fantasies involving taboo scenarios, such as stepfather-stepdaughter dynamics, to maintain her marital sex life, which she approaches mechanically, like exercise. Jordi, in contrast, describes a more spontaneous and physically rooted approach with her partner, emphasizing raw, unfiltered intimacy. Their discussion highlights their differing attitudes toward sex—one cerebral and performative, the other instinctual and unrestrained.
The conversation takes a humorous yet revealing turn as they compare their experiences. The protagonist initiates sex weekly to preempt her husband’s expectations, while Jordi expresses envy at the frequency, lamenting her own less frequent encounters. The protagonist’s admission of relying on elaborate mental fantasies underscores her detachment during sex, whereas Jordi’s descriptions of sleepy, primal encounters with her partner emphasize a deeper physical connection. This contrast leaves the protagonist feeling inadequate, as if she’s “lost at life.”
Jordi’s vivid portrayal of her sex life—messy, animalistic, and deeply connected—stuns the protagonist, who realizes her own experiences lack the same authenticity. The chapter’s tone shifts as the protagonist grapples with this revelation, feeling both envious and introspective. Their meeting ends with Jordi offering reassurance about the protagonist’s upcoming trip, suggesting that transformation isn’t obligatory, a comment that lingers in the protagonist’s mind.
The chapter closes with the protagonist returning home stealthily, mirroring her earlier sense of disconnection. The conversation with Jordi serves as a catalyst for self-reflection, exposing the protagonist’s dissatisfaction with her performative approach to intimacy. The contrast between their sexual dynamics underscores broader themes of authenticity, desire, and the tension between societal expectations and personal fulfillment. The chapter leaves the protagonist questioning whether she’s overcomplicating her life and relationships.
FAQs
1. How do the narrator and Jordi maintain their friendship’s unique dynamic through their weekly meetings?
Answer:
The narrator and Jordi maintain their friendship through weekly meetings where they indulge in nostalgic junk food (milkshakes and childhood desserts) while otherwise adhering to health-conscious diets. This ritual represents their shared commitment to avoiding rigidity in life choices. The chapter reveals this is part of a larger agreement to “maintain fluidity in diet and all things,” contrasting with their public personas. These private meetings also serve as a safe space for intimate conversations they keep hidden from their partners, such as discussing sexual fantasies and marital dynamics (pages 19-20).2. Compare and contrast the narrator’s and Jordi’s approaches to sexuality within their marriages.
Answer:
The narrator approaches sex as a performative obligation (“like exercise”), initiating weekly encounters to preempt spousal pressure while mentally escaping into elaborate fantasies involving power dynamics and infidelity scenarios. In contrast, Jordi describes a primal, body-centered sexuality that occurs spontaneously (even during sleep) with raw physicality and minimal artifice. While the narrator’s experience is mind-rooted with “a screen clamped in front of my face,” Jordi’s is characterized by present-moment immersion (“Body feel good. Me want”). Both women initiate sex, but their motivations differ fundamentally—Jordi from genuine desire, the narrator from perceived duty (pages 20-22).3. What symbolic significance does Jordi’s artwork hold in relation to the chapter’s themes?
Answer:
Jordi’s sculptures—described as “her own body but morphed, ghoulishly skewed toward animals, cars, monsters, always headless”—symbolize the chapter’s exploration of identity transformation and bodily existence. The distorted, headless forms mirror the narrator’s psychological disconnection during sex (prioritizing fantasy over physicality) while reflecting Jordi’s embodied approach to life. The materials (wood, limestone, plaster) suggest both permanence and malleability, paralleling the friends’ discussion about whether personal transformation is necessary or possible. The artwork’s presence during their intimate conversation creates a visual metaphor for their contrasting relationships with physicality (page 21).4. Analyze how the narrator’s reaction to Jordi’s sexual description reveals her underlying insecurities.
Answer:
When Jordi describes her uninhibited, animalistic sex life with her partner, the narrator feels “bludgeoned by this vision of intimacy” and concludes she’s “lost at life.” This extreme reaction exposes her deep-seated insecurity about her own marriage’s emotional authenticity. While she initially took pride in her elaborate sexual performances (“I was pleased she felt this way”), Jordi’s account of genuine connection—with its “ugly” positions and sleepy vulnerability—forces her to confront the transactional nature of her own sex life. The contrast highlights her awareness that she prioritizes fantasy over authentic connection, which ties into her broader anxieties about personal transformation (pages 21-22).5. How does Jordi’s final advice about flying versus driving reflect the chapter’s central conflict?
Answer:
Jordi’s suggestion that the narrator “can just fly if you want” serves as a metaphor for the chapter’s exploration of self-imposed challenges versus accepting one’s nature. When she clarifies she’s not predicting failure but acknowledging that transformation isn’t mandatory (“if you don’t transform… that’s fine too”), she challenges the narrator’s assumption that personal growth requires struggle. This mirrors their earlier conversation about sexuality—Jordi embraces instinctual ease while the narrator constructs elaborate mental frameworks. The advice underscores the tension between striving for change and self-acceptance that permeates their friendship dynamic (page 22).
Quotes
1. “This was part of a larger agreement to never become rigid, to maintain fluidity in diet and all things.”
This quote captures the protagonists’ philosophy of resisting strict routines, even as they navigate adulthood’s pressures. It introduces a key theme of the chapter—the tension between personal freedom and societal/relationship expectations.
2. “Sometimes I could hear Harris’s dick whistling impatiently like a teakettle, at higher and higher pitches until I finally couldn’t take it and so I initiated.”
A darkly humorous yet revealing metaphor about marital sexual dynamics. The quote illustrates the protagonist’s sense of obligation in her marriage and the performative nature of intimacy, contrasting with Jordi’s more organic approach.
3. “I’m completely inside the movie in my head. It’s like I have a screen clamped in front of my face.”
This confession about sexual fantasy highlights the protagonist’s disconnect between physical intimacy and mental experience. It underscores the “mind-rooted” versus “body-rooted” dichotomy explored throughout the conversation.
4. “I was quiet now, bludgeoned by this vision of intimacy. It wasn’t a matter of having lost at this conversation; I had lost at life.”
A pivotal moment where the protagonist realizes her envy of Jordi’s raw, unselfconscious sexuality. The quote marks a turning point in self-awareness about her own constrained approach to relationships and pleasure.
5. “I’m just making it harder for myself, aren’t I?”
The chapter’s closing revelation, where the protagonist begins to acknowledge her self-imposed barriers to fulfillment. This simple question encapsulates the chapter’s exploration of personal growth and transformation.
Quotes
1. “This was part of a larger agreement to never become rigid, to maintain fluidity in diet and all things.”
This quote captures the protagonists’ philosophy of resisting strict routines, even as they navigate adulthood’s pressures. It introduces a key theme of the chapter
— the tension between personal freedom and societal/relationship expectations.2. “Sometimes I could hear Harris’s dick whistling impatiently like a teakettle, at higher and higher pitches until I finally couldn’t take it and so I initiated.”
A darkly humorous yet revealing metaphor about marital sexual dynamics. The quote illustrates the protagonist’s sense of obligation in her marriage and the performative nature of intimacy, contrasting with Jordi’s more organic approach.
3. “I’m completely inside the movie in my head. It’s like I have a screen clamped in front of my face.”
This confession about sexual fantasy highlights the protagonist’s disconnect between physical intimacy and mental experience. It underscores the “mind-rooted” versus “body-rooted” dichotomy explored throughout the conversation.
4. “I was quiet now, bludgeoned by this vision of intimacy. It wasn’t a matter of having lost at this conversation; I had lost at life.”
A pivotal moment where the protagonist realizes her envy of Jordi’s raw, unselfconscious sexuality. The quote marks a turning point in self-awareness about her own constrained approach to relationships and pleasure.
5. “I’m just making it harder for myself, aren’t I?”
The chapter’s closing revelation, where the protagonist begins to acknowledge her self-imposed barriers to fulfillment. This simple question encapsulates the chapter’s exploration of personal growth and transformation.
FAQs
1. How do the narrator and Jordi maintain their friendship’s unique dynamic through their weekly meetings?
Answer:
The narrator and Jordi maintain their friendship through weekly meetings where they indulge in nostalgic junk food (milkshakes and childhood desserts) while otherwise adhering to health-conscious diets. This ritual represents their shared commitment to avoiding rigidity in life choices. The chapter reveals this is part of a larger agreement to “maintain fluidity in diet and all things,” contrasting with their public personas. These private meetings also serve as a safe space for intimate conversations they keep hidden from their partners, such as discussing sexual fantasies and marital dynamics (pages 19-20).
2. Compare and contrast the narrator’s and Jordi’s approaches to sexuality within their marriages.
Answer:
The narrator approaches sex as a performative obligation (“like exercise”), initiating weekly encounters to preempt spousal pressure while mentally escaping into elaborate fantasies involving power dynamics and infidelity scenarios. In contrast, Jordi describes a primal, body-centered sexuality that occurs spontaneously (even during sleep) with raw physicality and minimal artifice. While the narrator’s experience is mind-rooted with “a screen clamped in front of my face,” Jordi’s is characterized by present-moment immersion (“Body feel good. Me want”). Both women initiate sex, but their motivations differ fundamentally—Jordi from genuine desire, the narrator from perceived duty (pages 20-22).
3. What symbolic significance does Jordi’s artwork hold in relation to the chapter’s themes?
Answer:
Jordi’s sculptures—described as “her own body but morphed, ghoulishly skewed toward animals, cars, monsters, always headless”—symbolize the chapter’s exploration of identity transformation and bodily existence. The distorted, headless forms mirror the narrator’s psychological disconnection during sex (prioritizing fantasy over physicality) while reflecting Jordi’s embodied approach to life. The materials (wood, limestone, plaster) suggest both permanence and malleability, paralleling the friends’ discussion about whether personal transformation is necessary or possible. The artwork’s presence during their intimate conversation creates a visual metaphor for their contrasting relationships with physicality (page 21).
4. Analyze how the narrator’s reaction to Jordi’s sexual description reveals her underlying insecurities.
Answer:
When Jordi describes her uninhibited, animalistic sex life with her partner, the narrator feels “bludgeoned by this vision of intimacy” and concludes she’s “lost at life.” This extreme reaction exposes her deep-seated insecurity about her own marriage’s emotional authenticity. While she initially took pride in her elaborate sexual performances (“I was pleased she felt this way”), Jordi’s account of genuine connection—with its “ugly” positions and sleepy vulnerability—forces her to confront the transactional nature of her own sex life. The contrast highlights her awareness that she prioritizes fantasy over authentic connection, which ties into her broader anxieties about personal transformation (pages 21-22).
5. How does Jordi’s final advice about flying versus driving reflect the chapter’s central conflict?
Answer:
Jordi’s suggestion that the narrator “can just fly if you want” serves as a metaphor for the chapter’s exploration of self-imposed challenges versus accepting one’s nature. When she clarifies she’s not predicting failure but acknowledging that transformation isn’t mandatory (“if you don’t transform… that’s fine too”), she challenges the narrator’s assumption that personal growth requires struggle. This mirrors their earlier conversation about sexuality—Jordi embraces instinctual ease while the narrator constructs elaborate mental frameworks. The advice underscores the tension between striving for change and self-acceptance that permeates their friendship dynamic (page 22).
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