All Fours
Chapter 17
by July;, MirandaThe chapter opens with the protagonist reflecting on her physical progress during a workout session with her trainer, Brett, and fellow gym-goer, Scarlett. She notes her increased strength, from lifting heavier weights to carrying groceries with ease, and observes subtle changes in her body. A moment of self-awareness strikes as she stands naked before a mirror with her partner, Sam, who remarks that she appears “taller,” symbolizing her growing confidence and transformation.
Later, the protagonist plans a return trip to the Excelsior hotel, this time informing her husband, Harris, about her stay. Their conversation reveals the strained yet permissive dynamic in their relationship, as Harris, though puzzled, ultimately supports her decision. The protagonist rationalizes her actions as a temporary indulgence that might ultimately benefit their marriage, hinting at an underlying affair or personal exploration.
At the Excelsior, the hotel manager, Skip, surprises her by offering the room for free indefinitely, citing its popularity and unique design. This gesture unsettles her, exposing her discomfort with unearned privileges and moral ambiguity. Skip’s generosity contrasts with her guilt, as she grapples with the idea of recurring visits, which she associates with her secretive plans.
The chapter concludes with Skip humorously booking her for every Wednesday indefinitely, reinforcing the protagonist’s dual sense of excitement and unease. The recurring reservation symbolizes her commitment to the affair or personal project, blurring the lines between freedom and recklessness. The exchange underscores her internal conflict as she navigates desire, guilt, and the consequences of her choices.
FAQs
1. How does the narrator’s physical transformation through weightlifting manifest in her daily life and self-perception?
Answer:
The narrator experiences significant physical changes from consistent weight training, evidenced by her increased strength (progressing from 8 to 80-pound weights) and improved ease in daily tasks like carrying groceries. She notes a shift in her relationship with her body—feeling lighter and more buoyant, as if “gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.” This transformation is also reflected in her growing confidence, as she switches from baggy clothes to form-fitting workout attire and openly examines her body in the mirror. The chapter highlights how physical strength translates into a heightened sense of agency and self-awareness.2. Analyze the significance of the narrator’s interaction with Harris about staying at the Excelsior. What does this reveal about their relationship dynamics?
Answer:
The interaction exposes the emotional distance and unspoken negotiations in their marriage. Harris’s passive response (“Have fun”) and the narrator’s internal justification—framing her affair as a means to “break through” for their future—reveal mutual avoidance of deeper issues. Harris’s reliance on technology (headphones) symbolizes their communication barriers, while the narrator manipulates the situation by exploiting his disinterest in her work. Their dynamic is transactional: Harris maintains a facade of fairness, while the narrator seeks autonomy without confrontation, highlighting the relationship’s fragility.3. What does Skip’s offer of free access to the hotel room symbolize about the narrator’s evolving moral boundaries?
Answer:
Skip’s gesture—giving her a permanent key and recurring reservations—represents both generosity and complicity in her infidelity. The narrator’s initial discomfort (“very hung up about property and ownership”) reveals her struggle with guilt, as she clings to legalistic notions of fairness to justify her actions. However, her quick acceptance of the arrangement (“no end to the Wednesdays”) and glee at the affair’s logistical ease underscore her moral compromise. The room becomes a metaphor for her escalating self-deception: a space where she can simultaneously indulge in and rationalize her choices.4. How does the mirror motif function in this chapter, particularly in the scene where the narrator and Sam observe their changing bodies?
Answer:
The mirror scenes reflect (literally and figuratively) themes of identity and transformation. When the narrator and Sam stand naked together, their mutual acknowledgment of change—Sam’s gentle comment (“You’re taller”)—highlights vulnerability and intimacy. For the narrator, the mirror initially serves as a tool for self-critique but evolves into a space of acceptance. In contrast, Sam’s presence introduces innocence, subtly contrasting with the narrator’s secretive plans. The mirror thus becomes a dual symbol: a site of honest self-appraisal and a reminder of the diverging paths between her inner and outer selves.5. Critically evaluate the narrator’s justification for her affair. How does she reconcile her actions with her roles as a partner and parent?
Answer:
The narrator employs self-serving logic to justify her affair, framing it as a “last hurrah” that will ultimately benefit her marriage (by satiating her libido) and her parenting (by returning before Sam gets home). She rationalizes the deception by emphasizing Harris’s non-controlling nature and her own need for autonomy, yet ignores the emotional consequences. Her claim to be “doing this for us” reveals cognitive dissonance: she prioritizes immediate desire over long-term trust. The chapter critiques her flawed reasoning by juxtaposing her meticulous planning with the superficiality of her moral calculations.
Quotes
1. “I floated around as if gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.”
This poetic description captures the protagonist’s physical transformation through weightlifting, illustrating how her newfound strength has altered her perception of her own body and movement. It represents a key moment of self-awareness in her fitness journey.
2. “Harris wasn’t controlling. At worst he was like a king who wanted his subjects to think he was fair. At best he wanted me to be happy.”
This insightful observation about the protagonist’s partner reveals the complex dynamics of their relationship as she prepares to embark on an affair. It shows both her awareness of his good qualities and her rationalization of her own actions.
3. “It seemed I could not handle the fluid sense in which this room was mine and always would be. As if I didn’t trust myself, my ability to be moral, unless I was legally bound.”
This profound reflection exposes the protagonist’s internal conflict about ownership and morality as she receives unlimited access to the hotel room. It highlights her growing awareness of her own ethical boundaries and self-doubt.
4. “He scrolled down to show me there was no end to the Wednesdays, which was actually too much sex with Davey.”
This blunt realization combines practical logistics with emotional honesty, revealing both the protagonist’s excitement about her affair and her emerging awareness of its potential excesses. The moment marks a turning point in her planning.
Quotes
1. “I floated around as if gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.”
This poetic description captures the protagonist’s physical transformation through weightlifting, illustrating how her newfound strength has altered her perception of her own body and movement. It represents a key moment of self-awareness in her fitness journey.
2. “Harris wasn’t controlling. At worst he was like a king who wanted his subjects to think he was fair. At best he wanted me to be happy.”
This insightful observation about the protagonist’s partner reveals the complex dynamics of their relationship as she prepares to embark on an affair. It shows both her awareness of his good qualities and her rationalization of her own actions.
3. “It seemed I could not handle the fluid sense in which this room was mine and always would be. As if I didn’t trust myself, my ability to be moral, unless I was legally bound.”
This profound reflection exposes the protagonist’s internal conflict about ownership and morality as she receives unlimited access to the hotel room. It highlights her growing awareness of her own ethical boundaries and self-doubt.
4. “He scrolled down to show me there was no end to the Wednesdays, which was actually too much sex with Davey.”
This blunt realization combines practical logistics with emotional honesty, revealing both the protagonist’s excitement about her affair and her emerging awareness of its potential excesses. The moment marks a turning point in her planning.
— Unknown
FAQs
1. How does the narrator’s physical transformation through weightlifting manifest in her daily life and self-perception?
Answer:
The narrator experiences significant physical changes from consistent weight training, evidenced by her increased strength (progressing from 8 to 80-pound weights) and improved ease in daily tasks like carrying groceries. She notes a shift in her relationship with her body—feeling lighter and more buoyant, as if “gravity was balanced by an equal and opposite lifting force.” This transformation is also reflected in her growing confidence, as she switches from baggy clothes to form-fitting workout attire and openly examines her body in the mirror. The chapter highlights how physical strength translates into a heightened sense of agency and self-awareness.
2. Analyze the significance of the narrator’s interaction with Harris about staying at the Excelsior. What does this reveal about their relationship dynamics?
Answer:
The interaction exposes the emotional distance and unspoken negotiations in their marriage. Harris’s passive response (“Have fun”) and the narrator’s internal justification—framing her affair as a means to “break through” for their future—reveal mutual avoidance of deeper issues. Harris’s reliance on technology (headphones) symbolizes their communication barriers, while the narrator manipulates the situation by exploiting his disinterest in her work. Their dynamic is transactional: Harris maintains a facade of fairness, while the narrator seeks autonomy without confrontation, highlighting the relationship’s fragility.
3. What does Skip’s offer of free access to the hotel room symbolize about the narrator’s evolving moral boundaries?
Answer:
Skip’s gesture—giving her a permanent key and recurring reservations—represents both generosity and complicity in her infidelity. The narrator’s initial discomfort (“very hung up about property and ownership”) reveals her struggle with guilt, as she clings to legalistic notions of fairness to justify her actions. However, her quick acceptance of the arrangement (“no end to the Wednesdays”) and glee at the affair’s logistical ease underscore her moral compromise. The room becomes a metaphor for her escalating self-deception: a space where she can simultaneously indulge in and rationalize her choices.
4. How does the mirror motif function in this chapter, particularly in the scene where the narrator and Sam observe their changing bodies?
Answer:
The mirror scenes reflect (literally and figuratively) themes of identity and transformation. When the narrator and Sam stand naked together, their mutual acknowledgment of change—Sam’s gentle comment (“You’re taller”)—highlights vulnerability and intimacy. For the narrator, the mirror initially serves as a tool for self-critique but evolves into a space of acceptance. In contrast, Sam’s presence introduces innocence, subtly contrasting with the narrator’s secretive plans. The mirror thus becomes a dual symbol: a site of honest self-appraisal and a reminder of the diverging paths between her inner and outer selves.
5. Critically evaluate the narrator’s justification for her affair. How does she reconcile her actions with her roles as a partner and parent?
Answer:
The narrator employs self-serving logic to justify her affair, framing it as a “last hurrah” that will ultimately benefit her marriage (by satiating her libido) and her parenting (by returning before Sam gets home). She rationalizes the deception by emphasizing Harris’s non-controlling nature and her own need for autonomy, yet ignores the emotional consequences. Her claim to be “doing this for us” reveals cognitive dissonance: she prioritizes immediate desire over long-term trust. The chapter critiques her flawed reasoning by juxtaposing her meticulous planning with the superficiality of her moral calculations.
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