All Fours
Chapter 1
by July;, MirandaThe chapter opens with the narrator receiving a note from their neighbor, Brian, warning that someone may have been using a telephoto lens to photograph their home. The note’s apologetic tone—“Sorry to trouble you”—delights the narrator, who relishes the drama. The narrator reflects on their large, curtainless windows, through which they often observe their husband, Harris, and their child, Sam, with a sense of tender detachment. This moment underscores the narrator’s fascination with the gap between how things appear from a distance and how they feel up close.
Brian, identified as the “FBI neighbor,” is known for conspicuously wearing his FBI vest, which becomes a source of mild amusement for the narrator and their family. Harris dismisses the note’s concern, brushing off the idea of a stranger photographing their home as unremarkable in the modern age. The narrator, however, feels unsettled and abandoned when Harris doesn’t engage with their worry, highlighting the emotional distance in their marriage. Their relationship is described as cautious and formal, like two diplomats wary of each other, yet the narrator finds comfort in the idea that their patience might lead to a late-in-life honeymoon.
The narrator contrasts their marriage with those of their friends, particularly Cassie and Jordi, whose relationships seem either overly affectionate or oddly one-sided. These observations reveal the narrator’s preoccupation with understanding how other people navigate love and connection. They collect snippets of their friends’ lives—texts, emails, conversations—as if trying to grasp the elusive nature of human relationships. This quest for insight into others’ experiences reflects a deeper yearning to make sense of their own place in the world.
Ultimately, the narrator delays calling Brian, savoring the anticipation and the sense of being watched over. When they finally speak, Brian downplays the incident, suggesting the photographer might have simply admired their house. The narrator, disappointed, leans into false modesty, hinting at their public persona, only for Brian to remind them that surveillance is his job. The chapter closes with the narrator’s wry acknowledgment of their own self-importance, leaving the mystery of the photographer unresolved but the narrator’s curiosity undiminished.
FAQs
1. How does the narrator initially react to Brian’s note, and what does this reveal about her character?
Answer:
The narrator expresses excitement about being “troubled” by Brian’s note, stating she’s been waiting her whole life for such an interaction. This reveals her longing for attention and surveillance, suggesting she desires to be noticed or watched over. Her reaction contrasts with typical discomfort one might feel about privacy invasion, instead showing a peculiar enthusiasm for being observed. This is further emphasized when she admits to “hoping” someone was watching her through the windows, revealing deeper psychological needs for external validation or connection (pages 3-6).2. Analyze the narrator’s description of her marriage to Harris. What metaphors does she use, and what do they convey about their relationship?
Answer:
The narrator compares her marriage to “two diplomats who aren’t sure if the other one has poisoned our drink,” illustrating their cautious, formal dynamic. They maintain emotional distance, each waiting for the other to make the first move (“Forever thirsty but forever wanting the other one to take the first sip”). This metaphor highlights their lack of vulnerability and constant testing of boundaries. She also mentions they’ll likely have their “honeymoon in their sixties,” suggesting delayed intimacy. These descriptions paint a relationship built on restraint rather than spontaneity (page 4).3. How does the narrator’s perspective on relationships differ from her friend Cassie’s, and what does this reveal about her worldview?
Answer:
The narrator is “mortified” when Cassie says “Love you!” to her husband, criticizing the disconnect between Cassie’s complaints about marriage and this affectionate display. Cassie defends it as genuine, laughing it off as beyond her control. The narrator struggles to reconcile this contradiction, expecting consistency in emotions. This reveals her analytical, almost clinical approach to relationships—she seeks logical coherence where others accept complexity. Her fascination with recording friends’ interactions (like Jordi’s dynamic with her wife) further shows her tendency to dissect relationships as puzzles rather than embrace their inherent messiness (pages 4-5).4. What ironic contrast exists between Brian’s FBI identity and the narrator’s response to his surveillance concerns?
Answer:
Brian’s overt FBI persona (wearing his vest excessively, like a “Dodgers player watering the lawn in uniform”) contrasts with the narrator’s unperturbed reaction to potential surveillance. While Brian’s job involves protecting privacy/security, the narrator romanticizes the idea of being watched, even telling Brian she’s “a bit of a public figure” to justify the attention. The irony peaks when Brian deadpans, “It’s literally my job,” snapping her back to reality. This highlights the tension between professional vigilance and her personal yearning for scrutiny (pages 4-6).5. How does the narrator’s description of worrying as “hoping” reflect a central theme of the chapter?
Answer:
The narrator redefines worrying as “hoping” someone is watching her, exposing a theme of existential longing—for connection, purpose, or even surveillance. This reframing suggests she interprets potential threats (a stranger photographing her home) as proof of being noticed or cared for. Her desire for an external “someone who cares enough to watch over me” mirrors her observations of others’ relationships: she seeks validation she can’t find in her guarded marriage. The chapter repeatedly returns to this idea of performative existence, whether through FBI neighbors or recorded conversations (pages 5-6).
Quotes
1. “Sorry to trouble you but it looked like someone was using a telephoto lens to take pictures through your windows from the street. If it was someone you know, then sorry for the misunderstanding, if not, though, I got the make/model/license of their vehicle.”
This opening note from the FBI neighbor sets the chapter’s tone of paranoia and curiosity. It introduces the central mystery while revealing the narrator’s attraction to being “troubled” by such intrusions.
2. “Harris and I are more formal, like two diplomats who aren’t sure if the other one has poisoned our drink. Forever thirsty but forever wanting the other one to take the first sip.”
This vivid metaphor perfectly captures the narrator’s emotionally guarded marriage dynamic. The diplomatic analogy suggests both careful politeness and underlying suspicion in their relationship.
3. “I’m forever wanting to know what it feels like to be other people. What were we all doing? What the hell was going on here on Earth?”
This philosophical musing reveals the narrator’s fundamental curiosity about human experience. It explains her fascination with collecting intimate artifacts from friends’ lives, framing it as an existential quest.
4. “Just please let there be someone who cares enough to watch over me. It took me two days to call Brian the neighbor because I was busy savoring my position, like when a crush finally texts back.”
This confession exposes the narrator’s deep desire for attention and surveillance. The comparison to romantic anticipation shows how she transforms paranoia into something desirable and validating.