Martyr!
Coda
by Kaveh AkbarThe chapter “Sang Linh” from *Coda* captures a pivotal moment in 1997 New York, where the narrator reflects on the success of Orkideh’s art exhibition *Why We Put Mirrors in Birdcages*. The narrator, a gallery owner, works alongside their oldest son, Duy, and the artist Roya to dismantle the show. Roya’s meticulous nature shines as she oversees the handling of her paintings, particularly *Odi et Amo*, a piece evoking mixed emotions in the narrator due to its unsettling yet nostalgic imagery. The scene underscores the collaborative yet tense dynamic between the trio, blending professional pride with personal connections.
As they prepare the artworks for shipment to collector David J. T. Swartzwelder, Roya’s anxiety about the paintings’ safety contrasts with the narrator’s calm reassurance. The narrator experiences a fleeting but profound moment of gratitude, recognizing the rarity of their happiness—a stark contrast to past hardships. This introspection reveals a life marked by both trauma and triumph, where joy is cherished as a temporary reprieve. The narrator’s awareness of life’s impermanence adds depth to the scene, framing their contentment as both precious and precarious.
The chapter lightens with playful banter between the narrator and Roya, who jokes about buying a Cadillac car door with her earnings. Their affectionate exchange, set against the backdrop of a pop ballad, highlights the intimacy and humor in their relationship. Roya’s eccentric whimsy and the narrator’s fond exasperation underscore their deep bond, even as Duy interjects with logistical questions about the artwork. The moment captures the balance between their professional responsibilities and personal joy.
The chapter closes with a sense of culmination, as the narrator reflects on this period as a high point in their marriage and career. Despite anticipating future successes, they recognize this moment as uniquely fulfilling—a “climax” in their shared journey. The interplay of memory, emotion, and mundane tasks creates a rich tapestry, blending the ordinary with the profound. The chapter leaves readers with a poignant reminder of how fleeting happiness can be, even in the midst of achievement and love.
FAQs
1. What does the narrator’s description of Roya’s painting Odi et Amo reveal about their relationship with their mother and childhood memories?
Answer:
The painting evokes a complex mix of nostalgia and discomfort for the narrator. The watery browns and grays of Odi et Amo remind them of their mother adding leftover tea to their bathwater—a memory tied to pandan leaves’ scent. While this sensory recall is vivid, the narrator describes it as “not entirely pleasant,” suggesting ambivalence toward these childhood moments. The painting’s imagery (a crucified hand tenderly gripping the nail) further mirrors this tension between pain and care, reflecting how familial memories can simultaneously comfort and unsettle.2. How does the chapter contrast the narrator’s emotional experiences during high points versus low points in life?
Answer:
The narrator observes that despair often feels infinite (“this misery forever”), while joy is instinctively treated as fleeting. During the gallery takedown—a moment of professional triumph and marital closeness—they consciously “store” the happiness “like pockets of fat for the lean seasons ahead.” This metaphor underscores their awareness of life’s cyclical suffering, particularly referencing their husband’s abuse. Unlike the passive endurance of pain, their gratitude during happy moments is active, almost anxious, highlighting how trauma reshapes one’s relationship with joy.3. Analyze Roya’s behavior during the gallery takedown. What does it reveal about her character and her relationship with the narrator?
Answer:
Roya’s obsessive attention to her paintings (e.g., shouting “Careful with the corners!”) demonstrates her perfectionism and distrust, even toward loved ones. However, her playful banter about buying a “Cadillac car door” and physical affection (kissing the narrator’s neck) reveal intimacy and humor in their marriage. The narrator notes Roya’s “self-satisfied smile” with fond exasperation, suggesting a dynamic where artistic intensity coexists with domestic tenderness. Their teasing about deodorant and shared workload also reflects mutual professional respect, complicating the stereotype of the “temperamental artist.”4. Why might the narrator describe this moment as a “kind of climax” for their marriage, despite anticipating future successes?
Answer:
While acknowledging future “higher planes” of achievement, the narrator emphasizes the irreplicable quality of this shared moment: collaborating on Roya’s sellout show, their son helping, and the simple joy of listening to pop music while working. It represents an alignment of creative, familial, and romantic fulfillment—a “good life” they’d dreamed of. The description of gratitude “like a panic attack, but flipped” captures its overwhelming intensity. This climax is less about external validation than the internal realization of their partnership’s resilience against past and future hardships.5. How does the chapter use sensory details to connect art, memory, and emotion? Provide specific examples.
Answer:
Sensory motifs anchor key themes:- Visual/Tactile: Odi et Amo’s “loose, searching” colors mirror the narrator’s bathwater memories, blending art with personal history.
- Olfactory: The unexpected pandan-leaf scent triggered by the painting ties emotion to involuntary memory.
- Auditory: The pop lyrics (“lose controooool”) ironically underscore Roya’s controlled artistry, while the song’s timing heightens the scene’s intimacy.
- Kinesthetic: Roya’s chin resting on the narrator’s shoulder and the “cocoon” of bubble wrap around paintings physicalize protection and fragility—both in art and relationships.
- Visual/Tactile: Odi et Amo’s “loose, searching” colors mirror the narrator’s bathwater memories, blending art with personal history.
Quotes
1. “This brilliant curious woman loved me and we were doing what we always dreamed. My boys were happy and safe. We had made a good life.”
This quote captures a rare moment of pure contentment and gratitude in the narrator’s life, representing the pinnacle of personal and professional fulfillment before darker times. It’s significant as it contrasts sharply with later reflections on suffering.
2. “Tragic, that only terror feels that way. That even in Roya’s and my impossibly good moments, I instinctively knew to hold them, to store them inside myself like pockets of fat for the lean seasons ahead.”
This profound observation reveals the narrator’s psychological survival strategy, contrasting how humans experience joy versus suffering. It’s a key insight into the chapter’s theme of anticipating hardship even in moments of happiness.
3. “The hand gripped the nail almost tenderly, as one might hold a child’s finger while crossing the street.”
This description of Roya’s painting “Odi et Amo” is significant as it encapsulates the chapter’s themes of pain and tenderness coexisting. The religious imagery mixed with parental care creates a powerful metaphor for the narrator’s complex emotional landscape.
4. “Because when the world end—”
This truncated final line (apparently cut off mid-sentence) serves as a haunting cliffhanger, suggesting impending catastrophe and mirroring how happiness is often interrupted. Its abruptness makes it particularly memorable and ominous.