Martyr!
Chapter Eighteen: Roya Shams/Mom
by Kaveh AkbarThe chapter opens with the narrator’s vivid description of Leila, a woman whose striking presence transcends conventional beauty. Her sunglasses, confident demeanor, and animated conversation about eclectic topics make her magnetic, almost otherworldly. The taxi driver’s distracted driving underscores her allure, while her unfiltered cigarettes and casual defiance of norms—like removing her scarf—hint at her rebellious nature. The narrator is captivated, observing Leila as if she were a force of nature, her energy fizzing like “cold soda” in the confined space of the cab.
As the taxi navigates Tehran’s streets, the narrator reflects on the city’s contradictions: bustling parks and plazas mask dark histories, having been built over unmarked graves of executed prisoners. This juxtaposition of beauty and brutality mirrors Leila’s own complexity. The conversation takes a sudden turn when Leila probes the narrator about vulnerability, asking when someone last saw them “cry naked.” Her candid admission about involuntary crying—framed as a betrayal by her own body—reveals a raw, unguarded side. The narrator shares an embarrassing anecdote about crying alongside a neighbor’s inconsolable baby, highlighting the absurdity and inevitability of emotional outbursts.
Leila’s laughter at the narrator’s story defuses tension, and she expands on her philosophy of intimacy, equating naked crying with ultimate vulnerability. Her words linger in the cab’s charged silence, punctuated by the driver’s muttered curses at chaotic traffic. The scene shifts as they arrive at a lakeside campground, where Leila’s disregard for societal norms—walking bareheaded at night—both terrifies and fascinates the narrator. Her Bob Dylan-esque appearance and confident stride further cement her as a figure of defiance.
The chapter closes with the pair walking along the lake’s footpath, the narrator unable to look away from Leila. The murky water and worn path symbolize the tension between surface appearances and hidden depths, a theme echoed throughout their interaction. Leila’s unapologetic authenticity and the narrator’s awed observations paint a portrait of a woman who embodies both liberation and enigma, leaving the reader—and the narrator—to ponder the boundaries of intimacy and self-expression.
FAQs
1. How does the narrator describe Leila’s appearance and demeanor in the taxi, and what significance do these details hold?
Answer:
The narrator describes Leila as transcendentally beautiful, comparing her to “a pinwheel of stars” and “lightning under a fingernail,” suggesting she defies ordinary description. Her black slacks, sunglasses, and uncovered short curls create a striking, rebellious image in conservative Tehran. She exudes confidence—chatting animatedly about eclectic topics and smoking unfiltered cigarettes—while the taxi driver’s distracted glances underscore her magnetic presence. These details highlight her defiance of societal norms and the narrator’s fascination with her, setting up Leila as a symbol of freedom and danger in a repressive regime.2. What does the conversation about crying reveal about Leila’s and the narrator’s perspectives on vulnerability?
Answer:
Leila frames crying as an involuntary, embarrassing betrayal of the body, comparing it to being tickled. She elevates “crying naked” as the pinnacle of intimacy, where pretense falls away. The narrator relates by sharing a story about uncontrollably crying alongside a baby, emphasizing helplessness. Their exchange reveals a shared view of vulnerability as both involuntary and deeply human, contrasting societal taboos around emotional exposure. Leila’s laughter at the narrator’s story suggests she values raw honesty, reinforcing her belief that true connection requires stripping away performative barriers.3. Analyze the symbolism of Tehran’s urban landscape as described in the chapter. How does it reflect the regime’s actions?
Answer:
The narrator notes Tehran’s “handsome new parks and plazas,” which are revealed to be converted cemeteries for executed political prisoners. This juxtaposition symbolizes the regime’s attempt to erase dissent and present a sanitized image to the world. The “paving over” of mass graves with greenery and water features mirrors the suppression of truth and collective memory. The detail about prisoners being asked if their fathers prayed—with “no” being the safe answer—further underscores the regime’s manipulation of personal and historical narratives to maintain control.4. How does Leila’s behavior in public spaces challenge societal norms, and what risks does this entail?
Answer:
Leila removes her headscarf, smokes openly, and walks with her curls visible at night—actions that flout Iran’s strict modesty laws. Her boldness terrifies the narrator, who fears attracting punitive attention. The taxi driver’s voyeuristic stares and Leila’s Bob Dylan-like appearance further emphasize her subversion of gender expectations. These behaviors risk arrest or violence, positioning Leila as a figure of resistance. Her disregard for convention contrasts with the narrator’s anxiety, highlighting tensions between individual freedom and societal repression.5. What thematic role does the lake campground serve in the chapter’s closing scene?
Answer:
The manmade lake, older than the regime’s recent “cover-up” projects, serves as a liminal space—neither fully natural nor entirely fabricated. Its worn footpath and muddy waters contrast with the sterile new constructions, suggesting authenticity amid state-controlled artifice. Leila’s command to “follow me” here hints at a journey toward truth or rebellion. The setting mirrors the chapter’s themes of surface appearances versus hidden realities, positioning the lake as a potential site for raw, unfiltered encounters—much like the “naked crying” Leila values.
Quotes
1. “A photograph can say ‘This is what it was.’ Language can only say ‘This is what it was like.’”
This quote captures the narrator’s frustration with the limitations of language compared to visual media, setting up a key theme about the difficulty of conveying true experiences through words alone.
2. “Many of these fresh constructions, I knew, were converted cemeteries full of the regime’s executed political prisoners. Paving over those unmarked mass graves with turf, with water features, to show the world how happy and pristine Tehran had become.”
This powerful observation reveals the dark reality behind Tehran’s modern facade, highlighting the regime’s attempts to erase its violent history while commenting on political repression and collective memory.
3. “Who has seen you cry naked? Not your parents when you were little, but as an adult. When was the last time someone saw you cry naked?”
Leila’s provocative question introduces a central theme about vulnerability and true intimacy, challenging conventional notions of emotional exposure and human connection.
4. “All the dogshit stripped away. That’s the top of the mountain.”
This raw metaphor concludes Leila’s argument about naked crying representing ultimate intimacy, emphasizing the value of complete emotional transparency in relationships.
5. “She looked more than a little like Bob Dylan. We walked the pedestrian footpath around the water, worn to hard dirt. Leila paced manfully, puffed up. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.”
This vivid description captures the magnetic presence of Leila and the narrator’s fascination with her, illustrating the chapter’s exploration of attraction and unconventional femininity.