Martyr!
Chapter Nineteen
by Kaveh AkbarCyrus Shams meets Zee Novak at a Brooklyn café called Daylight, braving the cold for an outdoor conversation. His mind races after a puzzling encounter with Orkideh, who inexplicably referenced his mother’s death in a plane crash—a detail he never shared with her. The café patio buzzes with activity: a woman smokes elegantly, bearded men ignore their drinks, and a waiter navigates the chaos. Cyrus hopes Zee will help him break his cyclical thoughts about Orkideh’s cryptic knowledge, signaling urgency through their coded text exchange for a “quick chat.”
While waiting, Cyrus exchanges texts with his sponsor, Gabe, confirming his sobriety and grappling with unresolved anger. He reflects on how children of deceased parents often test the remaining caregiver’s loyalty, realizing he’s projected this dynamic onto Gabe, a “grizzled midwestern John Wayne” figure. The irony isn’t lost on him—his mother’s absence is abstract, yet he clings to Gabe as a stabilizing force. Scrolling news, he sees President Invective (a mocking nickname he and Zee use) shaking hands with businessmen, reigniting his disdain for the leader’s performative infallibility.
Cyrus critiques Western leadership’s obsession with godlike certainty, drawing parallels to religious figures like Jesus and Muhammad, who openly doubted. He imagines a leader who admits fallibility—a radical concept in a culture that rewards unwavering conviction. This ties to his personal struggle: his “martyr book” project reflects a desire to live perfectly, leaving no emotional wreckage. The irony is palpable; he resists the very systems he’s internalized, yearning for authenticity in a world that glorifies rigid certainty.
As Zee remains absent, Cyrus recalls his father’s stories about his mother’s insatiable curiosity—her notebook filled with answers researched at the library. The memory contrasts sharply with his present turmoil, underscoring his longing for clarity. Surrounded by Brooklyn’s bustling beauty, he waits, suspended between past grief and present uncertainty, the aroma of coffee and bread a fleeting comfort in his unraveling thoughts.
FAQs
1. How does Cyrus’s interaction with his sponsor Gabe reveal his psychological state and relationship patterns?
Answer:
The text exchange between Cyrus and Gabe reveals Cyrus’s complex emotional state and attachment patterns. Despite being annoyed with Gabe, Cyrus acknowledges he’s “not really” mad, showing his awareness of testing relationships like a child testing a parent’s unconditional love (page 207). This mirrors the psychological phenomenon where children who lose a parent often act out against the remaining caregiver. Cyrus recognizes he’s unconsciously cast Gabe in a father-figure role, demonstrating both self-awareness and his deep need for stable relationships. The interaction also shows his sobriety maintenance through this important connection.2. Analyze how Cyrus’s critique of “President Invective” reflects broader themes about leadership and Western ideology.
Answer:
Cyrus’s critique connects several profound themes (pages 207-208). He argues Western leadership ideals stem from notions of an infallible Christian God, where leaders must project absolute certainty rather than human doubt. He contrasts this with prophets like Muhammad and Jesus who openly expressed doubt. Cyrus particularly condemns how this culture enables leaders like “President Invective” - wealthy, unaccountable figures whose confidence outweighs their competence. His geographical critique (“west of what?”) further challenges Eurocentric worldviews. This analysis reveals Cyrus’s deep philosophical engagement with power structures and his frustration with political systems that reward certainty over truth.3. What significance does Cyrus’s memory of his mother’s notebook hold in understanding his character?
Answer:
The notebook memory (page 209) reveals crucial aspects of Cyrus’s character and trauma. His mother’s meticulous research habits (“Why do fireflies glow?”) demonstrate intellectual curiosity he likely inherited. More importantly, this memory represents one of his few tangible connections to his deceased mother, making it emotionally precious. The scientific explanations (photocytes, erosion) contrast with his current mystical experiences (Orkideh’s knowledge, possible divine communication), showing his tension between rational and spiritual worldviews. This memory also underscores his loss - while he knows facts she researched, he lacks personal memories of her.4. How does the chapter portray Cyrus’s internal conflict regarding martyrdom and perfection?
Answer:
The chapter reveals Cyrus’s martyrdom complex through his Olympic diver metaphor (page 208) - wanting to die “without creating a ripple,” perfectly. This reflects his desire to achieve painless martyrdom, avoiding the messy consequences of existence. However, his critique of infallible leaders shows he recognizes the fallacy of perfection. His anger at politicians who can’t admit mistakes mirrors his own struggle - he wants personal perfection while intellectually knowing it’s impossible. This conflict between his ideal (splashless disappearance) and reality (human doubt and complexity) drives much of his psychological tension throughout the chapter.
Quotes
1. “It was excruciating, now, for Cyrus to think of himself as the unwitting subject of the same predictable psychic tempests as every other human on the planet.”
This quote captures Cyrus’s painful realization of his own universal human vulnerabilities, particularly his unconscious patterns of testing relationships due to childhood loss. It reflects the chapter’s exploration of grief and psychological patterns.
2. “Only in a culture that privileged infallibility above all else could a man like President Invective rise to power—a man insulated since birth from any sense of accountability, raised in a pristine cocoon of inherited wealth to emerge pristine, dewy, wholly unsullied by those irksome mortal foibles, grief and doubt.”
This scathing critique of political leadership connects to the chapter’s central theme about the problematic Western ideal of infallible leadership. It contrasts sharply with the subsequent discussion of prophets who openly doubted.
3. “Even Jesus doubted, his moment of ‘eloi eloi lama sabachthani’ on the cross, incredulous with grief and doubt at his own suffering… Or Muhammad who, being told to transcribe God’s word by a literal archangel, protested to Gabriel again and again that he could not write.”
This powerful comparison highlights the chapter’s argument that true spiritual leaders throughout history have shown doubt, contrasting with modern political leaders who feign absolute certainty.
4. “He wanted to live perfectly enough to die without creating a ripple of pain behind him, like an Olympic diver knifing splashlessly into the pool.”
This poetic metaphor reveals Cyrus’s personal struggle with perfectionism and his martyr book project, connecting the political themes to his personal psychology in a vivid, memorable image.