Martyr!
Chapter Twenty-eight
by Kaveh AkbarThe chapter explores the concept of grace through the perspective of Roya Shams, a woman who narrowly escaped death when her plane was mistakenly shot down by the USS *Vincennes*. Roya reflects on grace as an unearned gift, contrasting it with justice, which is transactional. She recounts how she traded passports with her lover, Leila, to help her flee Iran, only for Leila to perish in the crash instead. Roya grapples with the guilt of surviving while Leila died, framing her second chance at life as an inexplicable act of grace.
Roya’s survival hinges on a series of fortunate events: a border guard accepting a bribe, a passport photo’s poor quality, and her ability to blend into New York City. These moments underscore her theme of grace as arbitrary and unmerited. She wanders the city, stealing necessities and mourning Leila, whose absence haunts her physically and emotionally. Roya’s grief is palpable as she describes the hollow space Leila left behind, a void she carries with her in every action and thought.
The chapter delves into Roya’s struggle with guilt and identity. She questions why she was spared and wrestles with the moral weight of her survival, even as she acknowledges grace’s inherent lack of conditions. Her theft of a Persian-English dictionary becomes a symbolic anchor, a small comfort in her disoriented existence. Roya’s reflections on the imprecise language used to describe the plane crash—”Gulf Tragedy” instead of “murder”—highlight her disillusionment with justice and the randomness of her fate.
Ultimately, Roya’s narrative is a meditation on the paradox of grace: it is both a gift and a burden. She lives with the knowledge that her survival came at the cost of another’s life, yet grace demands no repayment. The chapter closes with Roya’s unresolved guilt and her haunting question: “God will never forgive me. Why should I?” Her story lingers on the tension between gratitude and grief, leaving the reader to ponder the weight of unearned second chances.
FAQs
1. How does Roya Shams define grace in the chapter, and how does her personal experience illustrate this concept?
Answer:
Roya defines grace as something unearned and fundamentally non-transactional—it begins with the reward rather than being a consequence of goodness or merit. Her survival after the plane crash (where she was listed as deceased due to swapped passports) exemplifies this concept, as she received the “gift” of continued life without having done anything to deserve it. The chapter repeatedly emphasizes grace through her unexpected survival, border crossings, and new beginnings—all occurring despite her passive role in these events. This contrasts sharply with justice, which would involve a logical consequence for actions taken.2. Analyze the significance of identity and documentation in Roya’s escape. How do these elements reflect broader themes in the chapter?
Answer:
Identity and documentation are pivotal to Roya’s survival and freedom. By swapping passports with Leila, Roya inadvertently avoids being on the doomed flight’s manifest, which later allows her to assume Leila’s identity to cross borders. The poor-quality passport photos symbolize the fragility and interchangeability of identity in systems of power. This ties to the theme of grace—Roya benefits from bureaucratic imperfections (e.g., unverified papers, a bribable guard) that she didn’t orchestrate. The documents also represent the tension between truth and survival, as Roya’s new life is built on a lie (Leila’s death) and luck (the “grace” of others’ oversight).3. How does Roya’s reflection on the USS Vincennes incident connect to her personal understanding of justice versus grace?
Answer:
Roya highlights the USS Vincennes’s missile strike as a “catastrophe” mislabeled by American media, underscoring the absence of accountability or justice for the 290 lives lost. This mirrors her personal experience: she receives grace (survival) without merit, just as the victims suffered injustice without cause. The imprecision of language (“tragedy” vs. “murder”) reflects systemic avoidance of responsibility, contrasting with grace’s unaccountable nature. For Roya, justice would mean proper recognition of the attack’s intent, while grace is the arbitrary gift of her second life—a dichotomy that haunts her.4. What role does grief play in Roya’s journey, and how does it shape her perspective on grace?
Answer:
Grief is a dual force for Roya: she mourns Leila’s death (a physical absence) and Cyrus’s loss (a temporal one). Her anguish over Leila is visceral (“throbbed in her body”), while her guilt over abandoning Cyrus and Ali manifests as existential emptiness (“too-open time”). This grief clarifies grace’s bittersweet nature—it grants her freedom but demands emotional tolls. For instance, her survival (grace) requires her to live with Leila’s death and her own guilt. The romance columnist’s anecdote about fantasizing over a partner’s death mirrors Roya’s reality: she “escapes” her marriage through perceived death, but grace doesn’t absolve her of mourning or moral conflict.5. How does the chapter use contrasts (e.g., wealth/poverty, visibility/invisibility) to explore Roya’s survival in New York?
Answer:
Roya’s existence in New York hinges on contrasts: her businesswoman appearance lets her steal unnoticed (visibility as camouflage), while her homelessness renders her “invisible” to others’ concern. She notes the “grace” of owning nothing valuable, which paradoxically protects her. The city’s constant motion mirrors her internal state—wandering to avoid stillness, which would force her to confront grief. The stolen dictionary becomes both a physical pillow and metaphorical “place to put herself,” contrasting with her otherwise rootless life. These juxtapositions underscore grace’s duality: it offers opportunities (freedom, safety) but denies stability or absolution.
Quotes
1. “Grace is unearned. If you’ve moved through the world in such a way as to feel you’ve earned cosmic compensation, then what you’ve earned is something more like justice, like propriety. Not grace.”
This opening passage defines the chapter’s central theme—grace as an unmerited gift. It contrasts grace with transactional justice, establishing the philosophical framework for Roya’s reflections on survival and guilt.
2. “Grace to live at all—none of us did anything to deserve it. Being born. We spend our lives trying to figure out how to pay back the debt of being. And to whom we might pay it.”
A profound meditation on existential grace, connecting Roya’s miraculous survival to the universal human condition. This quote encapsulates the chapter’s exploration of life as an unearned gift that creates existential debt.
3. “Grace: that the boy-man at the border accepted my bribe and was too young to demand more… Grace: that he had eyes to see.”
From the series of “Grace” vignettes detailing Roya’s escape, this pair of statements highlights the precariousness of her survival. The repetition of “Grace” emphasizes how her continued existence depends on unpredictable mercies, both large and small.
4. “The imprecision of American justice was a given, even to Americans.”
A biting commentary that connects Roya’s personal tragedy (the plane shootdown) to broader themes of systemic injustice. This observation bridges her individual story with geopolitical critique, showing how language shapes perceptions of violence.
5. “I missed Leila in my body. I missed Cyrus in time.”
A heartbreaking distillation of grief’s dimensions. This poetic contrast captures Roya’s different forms of loss—the visceral absence of her lover versus the temporal absence of her child—demonstrating the chapter’s emotional depth.
Quotes
1. “Grace is unearned. If you’ve moved through the world in such a way as to feel you’ve earned cosmic compensation, then what you’ve earned is something more like justice, like propriety. Not grace.”
This opening passage defines the chapter’s central theme
— grace as an unmerited gift. It contrasts grace with transactional justice, establishing the philosophical framework for Roya’s reflections on survival and guilt.2. “Grace to live at all—none of us did anything to deserve it. Being born. We spend our lives trying to figure out how to pay back the debt of being. And to whom we might pay it.”
A profound meditation on existential grace, connecting Roya’s miraculous survival to the universal human condition. This quote encapsulates the chapter’s exploration of life as an unearned gift that creates existential debt.
3. “Grace: that the boy-man at the border accepted my bribe and was too young to demand more… Grace: that he had eyes to see.”
From the series of “Grace” vignettes detailing Roya’s escape, this pair of statements highlights the precariousness of her survival. The repetition of “Grace” emphasizes how her continued existence depends on unpredictable mercies, both large and small.
4. “The imprecision of American justice was a given, even to Americans.”
A biting commentary that connects Roya’s personal tragedy (the plane shootdown) to broader themes of systemic injustice. This observation bridges her individual story with geopolitical critique, showing how language shapes perceptions of violence.
5. “I missed Leila in my body. I missed Cyrus in time.”
A heartbreaking distillation of grief’s dimensions. This poetic contrast captures Roya’s different forms of loss—the visceral absence of her lover versus the temporal absence of her child—demonstrating the chapter’s emotional depth.
FAQs
1. How does Roya Shams define grace in the chapter, and how does her personal experience illustrate this concept?
Answer:
Roya defines grace as something unearned and fundamentally non-transactional—it begins with the reward rather than being a consequence of goodness or merit. Her survival after the plane crash (where she was listed as deceased due to swapped passports) exemplifies this concept, as she received the “gift” of continued life without having done anything to deserve it. The chapter repeatedly emphasizes grace through her unexpected survival, border crossings, and new beginnings—all occurring despite her passive role in these events. This contrasts sharply with justice, which would involve a logical consequence for actions taken.
2. Analyze the significance of identity and documentation in Roya’s escape. How do these elements reflect broader themes in the chapter?
Answer:
Identity and documentation are pivotal to Roya’s survival and freedom. By swapping passports with Leila, Roya inadvertently avoids being on the doomed flight’s manifest, which later allows her to assume Leila’s identity to cross borders. The poor-quality passport photos symbolize the fragility and interchangeability of identity in systems of power. This ties to the theme of grace—Roya benefits from bureaucratic imperfections (e.g., unverified papers, a bribable guard) that she didn’t orchestrate. The documents also represent the tension between truth and survival, as Roya’s new life is built on a lie (Leila’s death) and luck (the “grace” of others’ oversight).
3. How does Roya’s reflection on the USS Vincennes incident connect to her personal understanding of justice versus grace?
Answer:
Roya highlights the USS Vincennes’s missile strike as a “catastrophe” mislabeled by American media, underscoring the absence of accountability or justice for the 290 lives lost. This mirrors her personal experience: she receives grace (survival) without merit, just as the victims suffered injustice without cause. The imprecision of language (“tragedy” vs. “murder”) reflects systemic avoidance of responsibility, contrasting with grace’s unaccountable nature. For Roya, justice would mean proper recognition of the attack’s intent, while grace is the arbitrary gift of her second life—a dichotomy that haunts her.
4. What role does grief play in Roya’s journey, and how does it shape her perspective on grace?
Answer:
Grief is a dual force for Roya: she mourns Leila’s death (a physical absence) and Cyrus’s loss (a temporal one). Her anguish over Leila is visceral (“throbbed in her body”), while her guilt over abandoning Cyrus and Ali manifests as existential emptiness (“too-open time”). This grief clarifies grace’s bittersweet nature—it grants her freedom but demands emotional tolls. For instance, her survival (grace) requires her to live with Leila’s death and her own guilt. The romance columnist’s anecdote about fantasizing over a partner’s death mirrors Roya’s reality: she “escapes” her marriage through perceived death, but grace doesn’t absolve her of mourning or moral conflict.
5. How does the chapter use contrasts (e.g., wealth/poverty, visibility/invisibility) to explore Roya’s survival in New York?
Answer:
Roya’s existence in New York hinges on contrasts: her businesswoman appearance lets her steal unnoticed (visibility as camouflage), while her homelessness renders her “invisible” to others’ concern. She notes the “grace” of owning nothing valuable, which paradoxically protects her. The city’s constant motion mirrors her internal state—wandering to avoid stillness, which would force her to confront grief. The stolen dictionary becomes both a physical pillow and metaphorical “place to put herself,” contrasting with her otherwise rootless life. These juxtapositions underscore grace’s duality: it offers opportunities (freedom, safety) but denies stability or absolution.
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