Chap­ter 83 of All the Col­ors of the Dark presents a scene filled with ten­sion and self-reflec­tion as Saint spends an anx­ious hour in Miss Kline’s store on Main Street. The store, typ­i­cal­ly closed at this time, remains open thanks to Miss Kline, who rec­og­nizes the silent plea in Norma’s eyes. As Saint steps into the fit­ting room with a cream cor­duroy midi dress, the atmos­phere becomes charged with uncer­tain­ty. From behind the cur­tain, Saint vocal­izes her dis­sat­is­fac­tion, feel­ing self-con­scious and unat­trac­tive, exclaim­ing, “I look like a tart­let.” This moment high­lights Saint’s deep inse­cu­ri­ties and frus­tra­tion with her appear­ance, which only inten­si­fies as she tries on dif­fer­ent out­fits. Miss Kline, ever the accom­mo­dat­ing fig­ure, sug­gests a water­col­or house dress as an alter­na­tive, but Saint dis­miss­es it, wish­ing she could present her­self with the grace and poise of the “birth­day girl’s moth­er.” The scene cap­tures Saint’s inner tur­moil as she strug­gles to meet the exter­nal expec­ta­tions placed upon her while grap­pling with her own sense of inad­e­qua­cy. After try­ing on sev­er­al options, includ­ing an abstract red psy­che­del­ic print and a red and blue maxi that doesn’t flat­ter her fig­ure, they even­tu­al­ly set­tle on a black flo­ral dress with a white col­lar, which, although a com­pro­mise, does lit­tle to ease Sain­t’s dis­com­fort.

As Saint con­tin­ues her prepa­ra­tions, she tries on the black flo­ral dress and is met with her grandmother’s com­ments on its length. Saint, in her usu­al self-dep­re­cat­ing man­ner, responds with a quip about her own height, which reflects her ongo­ing bat­tle with her self-image. This inter­ac­tion high­lights the ten­sion between Saint’s desire for approval and her con­stant self-crit­i­cism. Her dis­com­fort deep­ens when she inspects her grandmother’s out­dat­ed make­up box, filled with prod­ucts that seem too old and unsuit­able for the moment. Specif­i­cal­ly, she gri­maces at the foun­da­tion dat­ing back to 1955, its age a stark con­trast to the con­tem­po­rary event she is prepar­ing for. The make­up, once a tool for self-enhance­ment, now feels like a reminder of the gap between the past and the present, adding to Saint’s grow­ing sense of dis­con­nec­tion. When Nor­ma steps out to fetch Mrs. Har­ris, a neigh­bor who works at the Mon­ta Clare Funer­al Par­lor, Saint’s unease only increas­es. The men­tion of Mrs. Harris’s asso­ci­a­tion with the funer­al home height­ens Saint’s anx­i­ety, cre­at­ing an under­cur­rent of dis­com­fort as she won­ders how Mrs. Har­ris might affect the final out­come of her prepa­ra­tions. The set­ting, with its old-fash­ioned make­up and the loom­ing pres­ence of Mrs. Har­ris, seems to ampli­fy Saint’s inter­nal strug­gle with the pres­sures of appear­ances and her own inse­cu­ri­ties.

Upon Mrs. Harris’s arrival, she attempts to reas­sure Saint by explain­ing her expe­ri­ence han­dling dif­fi­cult sit­u­a­tions due to her work with corpses, an attempt to calm the nerves of the young woman. Despite Saint’s sar­cas­tic remark, call­ing the sit­u­a­tion a “freak show,” Mrs. Har­ris pro­ceeds to offer her help with styling Saint’s hair. The ten­sion between them ris­es as Saint resists, firm­ly request­ing that her braid remain untouched, a sim­ple yet sig­nif­i­cant act of assert­ing con­trol over her appear­ance. The twen­ty min­utes spent on styling are filled with both frus­tra­tion and reluc­tance, as Saint feels the weight of each pass­ing moment, grow­ing more anx­ious about the upcom­ing event. Despite her reser­va­tions, she final­ly descends the stairs, where her grand­moth­er, eager to cap­ture every moment, awaits with a cam­era. The inces­sant click­ing of the cam­era only inten­si­fies Saint’s dis­com­fort, mak­ing her feel even more like a spec­ta­cle than a par­tic­i­pant in the moment. Her frus­tra­tion with the con­stant pho­tograph­ing becomes a focal point, rep­re­sent­ing her strug­gle to assert her iden­ti­ty in the face of exter­nal expec­ta­tions. The chap­ter not only show­cas­es Saint’s exter­nal dis­com­fort but also under­scores her inter­nal conflict—her desire to fit in and be seen for who she tru­ly is ver­sus the over­whelm­ing pres­sure to con­form to the roles that oth­ers assign to her. As Saint faces the com­plex­i­ties of her own self-image, the nar­ra­tive delves into the emo­tion­al strain that comes with grow­ing up in a world filled with both vis­i­ble and invis­i­ble pres­sures, where one’s appear­ance often dic­tates how they are per­ceived and val­ued.