Chap­ter 135 begins with Patch walk­ing through a town blan­ket­ed by heavy snow, his thoughts con­sumed by the dif­fi­cul­ty of rein­te­grat­ing into soci­ety after his release from a lengthy prison sen­tence. He avoids the bustling Main Street, breath­ing deeply as the chill bites into his chest. Reflect­ing on the prepa­ra­tions he made for his reen­try, par­tic­u­lar­ly his con­ver­sa­tions with Ter­rence Roots, a fel­low inmate who helped him under­stand the impor­tance of men­tor­ship and rou­tine, Patch is still haunt­ed by the mem­o­ries of a lost love. While he acknowl­edges the advice giv­en to him, he strug­gles with the emo­tion­al tur­moil of the life he had to leave behind. His long­ing for the past pulls at him con­stant­ly, par­tic­u­lar­ly the love that was lost, mak­ing it dif­fi­cult for him to ful­ly engage in the present.

Though he tries to main­tain sta­bil­i­ty by per­form­ing dai­ly tasks like clear­ing the dri­ve­way and prepar­ing meals, Patch is still bur­dened by the weight of his past. Saint, his friend, helps by stock­ing his freez­er with meals, while Sam­my offers tem­po­rary com­pan­ion­ship, often bring­ing over expen­sive cognac and shar­ing drinks. Despite their cama­raderie, Patch’s iso­la­tion is appar­ent as he nav­i­gates through the rhythms of life, feel­ing detached from the world around him. His first trip back to Main Street since his release brings mixed feel­ings of nos­tal­gia and alien­ation, as he notices the changes in the town, which now feels unfa­mil­iar and dis­tant. The place that once felt like home now seems like a dis­tant mem­o­ry, and Patch can’t shake the feel­ing that he no longer belongs.

In Sammy’s gallery, Patch is con­front­ed by paint­ings of women he rec­og­nizes from his past. The art, each piece rep­re­sent­ing a lost con­nec­tion, pulls him back into mem­o­ries of the past, evok­ing emo­tions that he can­not ignore. Anna May, Lucy Williams, Ellen Hernandez—each woman cap­tured in the art­work stirs up frag­ments of Patch’s mem­o­ries, and Eloise Strike’s gaze brings back the most vivid rec­ol­lec­tions of Grace, the love he lost. As he spends time in the gallery, Patch’s inter­nal con­flict deep­ens, and the art serves as a reminder of the heartache he can­not escape. Each paint­ing reflects his unre­solved grief, forc­ing him to con­front the emo­tion­al dis­tance he feels from both the past and the present.

Among the art, Patch uncov­ers a sack of let­ters from the par­ents of miss­ing women, each one filled with des­per­ate pleas for answers. The weight of these let­ters adds to the already heavy bur­den he car­ries, remind­ing him of the pain and loss that per­me­ates not only his own life but the lives of those around him. The con­trast between these let­ters and the art on dis­play empha­sizes the strug­gle of a com­mu­ni­ty marked by grief and uncer­tain­ty. Patch empathizes with these fam­i­lies, feel­ing the echo of their anguish, while also won­der­ing if clo­sure is even pos­si­ble. The lin­ger­ing uncer­tain­ty of the past makes Patch ques­tion whether he can ever tru­ly find peace or if he is des­tined to live with the shad­ows of what he can­not change.

The chap­ter con­cludes with Patch tak­ing care of Sam­my, tuck­ing him into bed and drap­ing a silk blan­ket over him. This qui­et act of care stands in stark con­trast to the emo­tion­al weight that Patch car­ries. As he reflects on Sammy’s role in his life, Patch real­izes that the past, though hon­ored, can­not be altered. This chap­ter delves deep into Patch’s inter­nal strug­gle, as he faces the chal­lenge of rec­on­cil­ing his mem­o­ries with the real­i­ty of his present sit­u­a­tion. His yearn­ing for clo­sure, for peace, is pal­pa­ble, but the past con­tin­ues to haunt him, mak­ing it clear that the ques­tion of whether he can ever move on remains unre­solved.