Chap­ter 113 of All the Col­ors of the Dark unfolds at Saint’s wed­ding, where she stands before the gath­ered towns­peo­ple and her groom, Jim­my, in a for­mal cer­e­mo­ny. Despite her best efforts to smile and recite her vows, an emo­tion­al moment catch­es her off guard when she locks eyes with Patch, a sig­nif­i­cant fig­ure from her past. Their brief exchange of gazes leaves Saint shak­en, but Patch dis­ap­pears before she can reach out. After the cer­e­mo­ny, as con­fet­ti rains down on the new­ly­weds out­side, Saint slips away from her hus­band to seek out Patch, who has dis­tanced him­self from the cel­e­bra­tion. Their con­ver­sa­tion is filled with nos­tal­gia as Patch briefly shares snip­pets of his life while Saint updates him on their mutu­al friend, Sam­my, reveal­ing that Sam­my is doing well.

Saint reflects on her cur­rent life with Jim­my, grap­pling with a deep sense of dis­con­tent. While Jim­my has clear expec­ta­tions for their future, Saint feels torn as his vision for their life togeth­er clash­es with her own desires. She reas­sures Patch that Jim­my treats her well, but inter­nal­ly, Saint strug­gles with the sac­ri­fices she is mak­ing to align with Jim­my’s aspi­ra­tions, includ­ing set­ting aside her own career as a cop. As she con­tem­plates the life ahead, she comes to the painful real­iza­tion that she is expect­ed to aban­don her iden­ti­ty and desires to fit into the mold of the life Jim­my envi­sions. This con­flict deep­ens her inter­nal tur­moil as she feels her­self los­ing the sense of self that had defined her for so long.

In a poignant moment, Patch embraces Saint, and they both rec­og­nize the emo­tion­al weight of their bond. As they hold each oth­er, Saint soft­ly whis­pers, “I miss you,” and Patch responds, “Every day,” sig­nal­ing the depth of their unre­solved feel­ings for one anoth­er. Their brief exchange hints at many unspo­ken truths that have been left to fes­ter over the years. Despite the inten­si­ty of their emo­tions, both Saint and Patch seem to under­stand that bring­ing these feel­ings to light may not nec­es­sar­i­ly bring res­o­lu­tion or change. Their con­nec­tion is unde­ni­able, but the acknowl­edg­ment that dis­cussing the past might not alter their futures adds a lay­er of com­plex­i­ty to their rela­tion­ship, leav­ing both char­ac­ters uncer­tain of what to do next.

As Saint returns to the recep­tion, Jim­my greets her with a com­pli­ment, light­ly teas­ing her about her choice of hair­style. She puts on a smile and engages with the guests, mask­ing the emo­tion­al chaos brew­ing inside her. Despite her out­ward appear­ance of hap­pi­ness, she is inter­nal­ly wrestling with the con­flict­ing emo­tions that have sur­faced through­out the day. The chap­ter con­cludes with an inti­mate moment between Saint and Jim­my as they share a dance on the floor. As they sway to the music, Saint soft­ly sings to her­self, her qui­et voice reflect­ing the hid­den tur­moil with­in her. This moment encap­su­lates her strug­gle for both con­nec­tion and ful­fill­ment, as she nav­i­gates the com­plex ten­sion between her inter­nal desires and her exter­nal per­for­mance in front of oth­ers. The con­trast between her emo­tion­al dis­so­nance and her out­ward por­tray­al of con­tent­ment under­scores the dif­fi­cul­ty she faces in rec­on­cil­ing her love for Jim­my with her need to main­tain her own iden­ti­ty and inde­pen­dence.

This chap­ter explores the ten­sion between Saint’s per­son­al ful­fill­ment and the expec­ta­tions placed upon her by oth­ers, espe­cial­ly in the con­text of her rela­tion­ship with Jim­my. Her inter­nal bat­tle is height­ened by the appear­ance of Patch, who sym­bol­izes a life and a path not tak­en, one that rep­re­sents free­dom and self-dis­cov­ery. The jux­ta­po­si­tion of Saint’s vows to Jim­my with the unde­ni­able pull she feels toward Patch cre­ates a pow­er­ful emo­tion­al con­flict, mak­ing it clear that Saint’s jour­ney is not just about love but also about rec­on­cil­ing her sense of self. As she nav­i­gates the com­plex­i­ties of her mar­riage, her career, and her per­son­al desires, Saint finds her­self at a cross­roads, unsure of how to move for­ward with­out los­ing her­self entire­ly.