Chapter 73 of All the Colors of the Dark unfolds as Patch finds himself drawn to the tranquility of St. Raphael’s Church, a place where he seeks a sense of connection to his lost past. The quiet of the church during the hours between sunset and sunrise provides a stark contrast to the turmoil inside him. As he sits in the pews, the weight of his exhaustion and feelings of failure press down on him, and he reflects on his life choices. Patch is struck by the church’s open doors, a gesture he finds hard to understand, yet comforting in its simplicity. The stillness of the church wraps around him, almost as if welcoming him into its embrace, encouraging him to sit and confront his own struggles. Just as he begins to find some peace in the silence, Patch notices Dr. Tooms nearby, a figure who appears to be caught in his own moment of reflection.

Their interaction begins with Patch addressing Tooms, who is deep in his prayers. As they exchange words, Patch learns that the church has no priest at the moment, which leads him to share his own need for confession. He expresses a hope that by admitting his wrongdoings to God, he can find some peace. However, Tooms provides a pragmatic response, pointing out that the actions themselves remain, regardless of confession. Patch quickly clarifies that his desire is not for forgiveness but for help—something he desperately needs but cannot articulate fully. Tooms seems to understand this unspoken need and responds with a knowing tone, as though he has encountered this kind of struggle before. The brief conversation reveals the deep inner turmoil that both men are grappling with, though they are each navigating it in their own way.

Patch reflects on his past, recalling scriptures that once provided him with strength and guidance but now feel distant and hollow. He expresses his doubts about his ability to make things right, feeling as though he has lost his way completely. In response, Tooms offers reassurance, suggesting that it is not Patch’s burden to fix everything, as some things are beyond individual control. Patch, still haunted by the weight of his actions, turns his focus to the church’s bells, which echo through the still air and serve as a call for worship. He inquires about Tooms’ presence, curious about what has brought the doctor to this sacred space at such an hour. Tooms admits that he seeks forgiveness not for past wrongs, but for the future ones he is already aware he will commit. His admission adds complexity to the conversation, showing his recognition of his own weaknesses, yet an inability to resist actions he knows will be wrong.

As Patch observes Tooms, he begins to notice the subtle signs of inner turmoil in the doctor’s appearance, which contrast with the calm demeanor he tries to present. Tooms, despite his earlier admission of seeking forgiveness, seems conflicted, and Patch wonders if the silence of the cross above them speaks to this deeper internal struggle. The church, with its stillness and reverence, becomes a symbol of the emotional weight both Patch and Tooms are carrying. Their respective journeys of seeking solace and redemption play out in the hushed surroundings, with each man searching for understanding in a place that offers neither quick answers nor easy resolutions. The chapter encapsulates the vulnerability that comes with seeking redemption, the weight of past mistakes, and the ongoing search for meaning in a world filled with silence and unanswered questions. Both Patch and Tooms are left confronting their own struggles, finding solace in the shared experience of grappling with faith, guilt, and the yearning for peace.