Chapter 163 of All the Colors of the Dark begins with Patch sitting with Saint on the back deck, the charcoal grill slowly cooling beside them. The day’s events weighed heavily on his mind as he reflected on his visit earlier to the law offices of Jasper and Coates. The men there, clad in tailored navy suits with gold cufflinks and watches, stood in sharp contrast to Patch’s sense of uncertainty. Mrs. Meyer’s presence in the waiting area had added an air of tension as she clutched his hand tightly, revealing the deep sorrow she was carrying. The pain she exuded seemed to be the result of a heavy loss, an absence of a child that had drained her of her spirit.

The meeting itself was quick, with the details of Misty’s estate becoming clear. She had left the majority to Charlotte, with a small donation designated for charity, and the trust was to be annulled and reallocated. A small, but significant, gesture was made when Misty bequeathed a picture to Patch, a reminder of their connection. Jasper, the lawyer, cleared his throat before announcing, “Charlotte Mary Grace Meyer will be left in the sole custody of Joseph Henry Macauley.” This declaration was met with a silence that weighed on Patch, as it indicated the responsibility he now carried.

Later, as Patch sipped his beer, reflecting on the legal proceedings, Saint returned from the kitchen, tossing the remnants of their meal aside. Sitting beside him, she made a comment on Mrs. Meyer’s unspoken feelings about the custody arrangement. Patch felt that Mrs. Meyer had likely anticipated this outcome, though he was left to reflect on the implications of Charlotte’s life now in his hands. Saint, ever the realist, remarked that their grandmother’s age and frailty made it impossible for her to provide the vibrant life Charlotte needed. They moved onto discussing the challenges of parenting, with Patch particularly focused on Charlotte’s youthful missteps, considering the difficulties of raising her under their current circumstances.

The conversation shifted to their experiences, with Saint lightheartedly recalling a time when she had fashioned him a new eye out of papier-mâché, an innocent memory from their shared past. Patch, however, was left pondering the weight of what lay ahead—he questioned his own ability to care for Charlotte and provide her with a stable future, especially when the very house she would inherit represented a crumbling, decaying life. Saint’s words carried a bit of wisdom: “Kids do stupid things,” she said, attempting to ease his burden. But beneath this casual remark was a deeper truth about growing up and the mistakes that come with it. Patch realized that his role now extended beyond just providing for Charlotte; it also involved navigating the intricacies of parenthood and trying to break free from his own past.

Saint, observing his hesitation, gently urged Patch to see things differently. “We all see you, Patch,” she said, as if understanding the weight of the past holding him back. “To move forward, we must face it.” Patch was forced to consider her words, pondering the nature of freedom and whether he was truly ready to embrace the changes ahead. He hesitated, still unsure, asking, “What if I don’t want to be free?” His uncertainty stemmed from the comfort he found in remaining in the status quo, even though it was clear to those around him that this stagnation would only lead to further despair.

Their conversation soon turned to the unsolved case of a girl from Oklahoma, one tied to Eli Aaron, whose untimely death had left an emotional gap. Patch found himself lamenting their lack of progress, the cases that seemed to remain unsolved, and the absence of clarity that clouded their lives. Saint, ever the realist, dryly remarked that sometimes the break people need comes when they stop actively searching. Patch, caught between the weight of hope and the reality of their situation, wondered aloud if this new girl could somehow be tied to Grace, but dismissed the thought almost immediately. His hopes, as fleeting as they were, reminded him that hope, though necessary, often comes with the painful burden of expectations that may never be met.

In this chapter, Patch grapples with responsibility, loss, and the weight of an uncertain future, while Saint provides a grounding presence, urging him to embrace the changes and move forward. The chapter highlights the internal conflict Patch faces, questioning his ability to take on the role of a parent, the fear of loss, and the emotional weight that now rests on his shoulders. Through it all, the themes of resilience, acceptance, and the complexities of human connections permeate the narrative, offering a poignant exploration of the journey ahead for both Patch and Charlotte.