Chap­ter 138 opens on a stormy day, with Saint stand­ing in the down­pour, look­ing at Nix, who remains seat­ed under the shel­ter of a large tree. His sto­ic expres­sion is bare­ly affect­ed by the rain, as he is com­plete­ly absorbed by the deep roots of the tree. These roots appear to hold his atten­tion, per­haps offer­ing him a con­nec­tion to some­thing larg­er than the storm around them. Saint approach­es, dri­ven by a desire to find some­thing tan­gi­ble from the past—the kind of object that holds mem­o­ries and iden­ti­ties, some­thing to solid­i­fy their search for answers. Her words are care­ful­ly cho­sen, heavy with the need to unearth the past, and she yearns for a piece of this mys­tery to reveal itself.

The con­ver­sa­tion between Saint and Nix delves into deep­er ter­ri­to­ry, reveal­ing the com­plex nature of their feel­ings. Saint opens up about the uncer­tain­ty she feels, unsure of how to move for­ward while bal­anc­ing the com­pet­ing emo­tions of long­ing and unre­solved grief. Nix, sens­ing the weight of her inter­nal strug­gle, reas­sures her that the answers she seeks are not external—they are buried deep with­in her­self, shaped by her expe­ri­ences and the hard truths she’s already dis­cov­ered. His words offer com­fort, a reminder that some­times the wis­dom we seek from oth­ers is already con­tained with­in, only wait­ing to be acknowl­edged and under­stood.

The top­ic of love shifts the focus, as Nix speaks can­did­ly about how deep affec­tion can dri­ve a per­son to search for mean­ing, even when it is cloud­ed by uncer­tain­ty and regret. He shares his per­spec­tive on how love can inspire some­one to seek out mem­o­ries, to unearth painful truths, and to reframe their under­stand­ing of events from the past. It is this per­sis­tent dri­ve, he explains, that keeps peo­ple mov­ing for­ward, even when they don’t ful­ly under­stand what they are chas­ing. Nix’s insights leave Saint with more to pon­der about her own moti­va­tions and the unspo­ken forces that have shaped her jour­ney so far.

Saint, feel­ing an unspo­ken con­nec­tion with Nix, shifts the con­ver­sa­tion to faith, ask­ing him about his own spir­i­tu­al life. Nix con­fides that his week­ly prayers are not about seek­ing for­give­ness, but about seek­ing under­stand­ing, par­tic­u­lar­ly for the mis­takes he feels bur­dened by. His hon­esty sur­pris­es Saint, who admits that she no longer feels con­nect­ed to the church after past betray­als. The once famil­iar walls of the church now feel cold and unwel­com­ing, a space that lost its mean­ing after it failed her fam­i­ly in their time of need. Instead, Saint finds solace in her qui­et prayers by the lake, away from the for­mal rit­u­als of the church that once defined her.

Although Nix lis­tens care­ful­ly, he does not push Saint to recon­sid­er her posi­tion on reli­gion. Instead, he reas­sures her that there are many paths to spir­i­tu­al­i­ty, and some of the most mean­ing­ful con­nec­tions are found in soli­tude and per­son­al reflec­tion. He reminds her that spir­i­tu­al strength isn’t always about fol­low­ing estab­lished tra­di­tions but about embrac­ing the act of search­ing, the deep and per­son­al jour­ney that leads us to the truth. His gen­tle encour­age­ment offers a dif­fer­ent per­spec­tive, one that doesn’t rely on exter­nal val­i­da­tion but on inner peace and per­son­al growth.

As their con­ver­sa­tion con­tin­ues, Saint reveals her con­cerns about her grandmother’s judg­ment of her, won­der­ing whether she’s meet­ing her expec­ta­tions. Nix, how­ev­er, sug­gests that the true mea­sure of a per­son is not in what oth­ers think but in their abil­i­ty to remain true to them­selves, even in the face of doubt. He reas­sures her that her strug­gles and her deter­mi­na­tion to find her own way are what mat­ter most, and that she should not feel bur­dened by the approval or dis­ap­proval of oth­ers. His words offer com­fort, a reminder that self-worth is defined by actions, not by the opin­ions of oth­ers.

The rain con­tin­ues to pour around them, cre­at­ing a calm­ing, almost med­i­ta­tive atmos­phere. As they sit togeth­er in the down­pour, a sense of mutu­al under­stand­ing and qui­et com­pan­ion­ship set­tles between them. The storm, rather than sep­a­rat­ing them, seems to bring them clos­er togeth­er, each of them reflect­ing on their own path while acknowl­edg­ing the con­nec­tion they share. Saint real­izes that while no con­crete answers have emerged from their con­ver­sa­tion, she feels less iso­lat­ed in her strug­gles. The rain becomes a sym­bol of both cleans­ing and clar­i­ty, wash­ing away the con­fu­sion and doubts that have cloud­ed her mind. In this moment of shared reflec­tion, Saint feels a qui­et sense of peace, know­ing that despite the chal­lenges they both face, they are not alone.