In Chap­ter 138 of “All the Col­ors of the Dark,” the scene opens with a heavy rain­storm, as Saint approach­es Nix, who is seat­ed on a bench under a tree. Despite the del­uge, he seems con­tem­pla­tive, focused on the tree’s roots. Saint, seek­ing answers, express­es her desire to find some­thing belong­ing to a per­son they are search­ing for—something that would pro­vide iden­ti­ty and a sense of his­to­ry.

Their con­ver­sa­tion is poignant as Saint ques­tions how she should nav­i­gate her feel­ings and the sit­u­a­tion at hand. Nix reas­sures her, imply­ing that she pos­sess­es the inner knowl­edge to han­dle these dilem­mas. They dis­cuss the impli­ca­tions of love, as Nix reflects on the seri­ous­ness of lov­ing some­one deeply and the moti­va­tions that can dri­ve one to chase a nar­ra­tive or explore a past, sug­gest­ing a fun­da­men­tal con­nec­tion to iden­ti­ty and belong­ing.

The exchange shifts to per­son­al beliefs and faith as Saint inquires about Nix’s prayer life. He reveals that he seeks under­stand­ing for his past mis­takes dur­ing his week­ly prayers. Despite her admi­ra­tion for Nix, Saint feels estranged from the church com­mu­ni­ty, par­tic­u­lar­ly after past con­tro­ver­sies that affect­ed her fam­i­ly and the town. She explains her method of pray­ing at home or by the lake, in her own way, with­out the for­mal­i­ties expect­ed by the church.

Their dia­logue reveals deep-seat­ed inse­cu­ri­ties, with Nix attempt­ing to reas­sure Saint of her good­ness, despite her doubts. The chap­ter explores themes of iden­ti­ty, faith, and the com­plex­i­ties of human con­nec­tion. Saint express­es con­cern over how her actions might test her grandmother’s faith in her, and Nix replies with opti­mism about her char­ac­ter. This reflec­tion on their lives and the acknowl­edg­ment of per­son­al strug­gles under­scores the emo­tion­al grav­i­ty of their sit­u­a­tion, cul­mi­nat­ing in a blend of long­ing, reflec­tion, and hope amidst the rain.