Chapter 198 of All the Colors of the Dark begins with a sense of mounting tension as Saint, sitting at dinner, becomes visibly distressed. Her unease stems from a phone call she receives from Mrs. Meyer, who expresses concern over the behavior of the Leavesham boy. The suggestion that he may have purchased something inappropriate, like condoms or sedatives, intensifies Saint’s anxiety, making her feel that something is seriously wrong. As the evening progresses, her unease grows into a quiet desperation, manifesting in her pacing the room and repeatedly making calls, trying to track down Charlotte and get a better understanding of what might be happening. Her frustration is compounded by the gnawing fear that she is missing something important. After a tense period of searching, Saint finally uncovers the Leaveshams’ address, fueling her determination to confront whatever is unfolding with Charlotte. The weight of this situation, and her inability to immediately act, presses heavily on Saint, creating a sense of urgency that she can’t shake off.

When Saint arrives at the Leaveshams’ residence, the worst of her fears is realized. She finds Charlotte and Matt in a compromising position, confirming the suspicions that had been growing in her mind. Fueled by a mixture of anger and concern, Saint confronts them forcefully, demanding an explanation. Her words are sharp, and the emotional intensity of the moment fills the air. Later, when she tracks Charlotte down on Cotterham Avenue, the confrontation between them becomes even more heated. Charlotte, clearly irritated and resistant to Saint’s authority, snaps back, telling her bluntly that she is not her mother and has no right to intervene in her life. Saint, already emotionally raw from the events of the evening, reacts impulsively, remarking that she’s actually grateful she isn’t Charlotte’s mother. The words are harsh, and as soon as they leave her mouth, Saint regrets them deeply, realizing that in her frustration, she has only deepened the divide between them. This exchange marks a turning point in their relationship, highlighting the deep rift that exists between them and the emotional walls that have been built up over time.

As the argument continues, Charlotte, in her anger, accuses Saint of living a pointless life and compares her own situation to Saint’s, implying that Saint has no real purpose or meaningful connection in the world. This accusation stings, but it also causes Saint to pause and reflect. In a moment of vulnerability, Saint opens up about the traumatic experiences of her past, revealing that she had suffered abuse from her ex-husband, Jimmy, a revelation that shocks Charlotte. Saint’s admission of the violence she endured—physical and emotional—reveals the depth of her pain and provides context for her behavior. She confesses that, despite her role as a law enforcement officer, she still fears the return of the violence that marked her past, a vulnerability she’s never fully shared with anyone before. The raw honesty in her words leaves Charlotte silent for a moment, as she processes the gravity of what Saint has just shared. This intimate moment shifts the dynamic between them, and for the first time, Charlotte begins to see her mother figure in a different light. The conversation, however, doesn’t resolve the underlying tension. Instead, it deepens the complexity of their relationship, leaving both women in a state of emotional turmoil. As Saint speaks her truth, Charlotte begins to soften, but the damage done by their harsh words is far from repaired. The emotional weight of the situation grows as they stand in the aftermath of the confrontation, the silence between them heavy with the unspoken truths of their lives. Eventually, unable to process the emotions at the surface, Charlotte runs away, leaving Saint standing in the quiet aftermath. The chapter ends with the unresolved tension lingering in the air, capturing the complexity of their fractured relationship. Themes of trauma, shame, and emotional pain are central to this chapter, all set against the backdrop of a small town where everyone’s business is intertwined. The emotional confrontation serves as a catalyst for change, yet also marks the beginning of a painful journey of understanding, one that may never fully come to fruition.