Chapter 197 of All the Colors of the Dark opens with a quiet yet tense scene as Saint and her grandmother, Norma, sit together on the porch, the stillness of the spring evening amplifying the distance between them. The evening is warm, but the underlying tension is thick, almost palpable, as Norma begins to speak about Charlotte’s new boyfriend, Matt Leavesham. Norma subtly alludes to the boy’s family background, hinting that she knows more about his history than Saint had realized. It’s a quiet yet pointed remark, one that makes Saint feel uneasy, though she doesn’t show it outwardly. As the conversation continues, Norma shifts the focus to something more pressing: she presents a box containing the Eli Aaron case file, which had been sent by Himes, indicating that the case is something that Saint should pay attention to. However, Norma suggests that Saint’s focus should really be on Charlotte, not on her work, which causes a stir of frustration within Saint. The moment reveals the subtle dynamics of their relationship—Norma is trying to guide Saint, but her approach often feels dismissive, as though Saint’s professional life is secondary to the family’s immediate concerns.

Saint, feeling a growing unease, tries to ignore the strain in the conversation by turning her attention to the book Norma is reading, though her mind continues to circle back to the underlying issues that have long plagued their relationship. Eventually, Saint can’t suppress her feelings anymore and confronts Norma about their strained dynamic. She suggests that Norma has always held back her true feelings, that she has kept her judgment and opinions hidden, and it’s left Saint to figure things out on her own. The tension escalates when the conversation turns to Saint’s past, particularly her marriage to Jimmy, which is a source of unresolved conflict. Saint explains that she made the difficult decision to divorce Jimmy, a man she once loved but whose faults became too large to ignore. Norma, however, insists that Jimmy had potential and that Saint should have given him more time to change. The disagreement is palpable, as it speaks to deeper differences in how they view relationships, commitment, and personal growth. Saint, in turn, defends her decision, explaining the emotional and practical reasons for ending the marriage, but her words fall on deaf ears. This exchange leaves both women feeling misunderstood, as if they’re talking past each other instead of truly hearing each other’s pain.

The conversation takes a more poignant turn when Norma softly recalls the sacrifices Saint made in her life, particularly the promises she made to God in exchange for Joseph’s return. Norma’s words aren’t just a reminder of the past—they’re a reflection of how much Saint has given up in the name of family and duty. Saint’s emotional walls begin to crack as she recalls those moments of desperation, when her promises to God felt like the only thing she had left. Norma, in an unexpected gesture of affection, opens her arms to Saint, offering a comforting embrace that Saint has longed for but has never received in such a direct way before. For a fleeting moment, the walls between them begin to crumble, and Saint allows herself to feel vulnerable. She admits to herself that, despite their differences and their emotional distance, Norma’s support is still essential to her well-being. This moment of quiet understanding between them is significant, a brief and rare moment of tenderness that speaks volumes about their relationship. Saint feels both comforted and saddened by the embrace, realizing how much she’s needed this connection throughout her life, yet also acknowledging that it has often been overshadowed by the unresolved tension between them.

The chapter reaches its emotional peak when Saint opens up about the complexities of her feelings toward Jimmy. She admits that, while he was an important part of her life, he isn’t the man she holds in her heart anymore. That man is Patch, and the realization that Jimmy was not the one she truly loved is a painful but necessary admission. This moment of clarity, though difficult for Saint to vocalize, is an important turning point for her. It highlights the emotional confusion and grief she’s carried for so long, never truly allowing herself to fully confront her feelings for Patch and what he represented in her life. Their discussion reveals deep layers of grief, loss, and personal sacrifice, as both women come to terms with their respective pasts. The pain of old wounds resurfaces as Saint confronts the complexity of her emotional history with Jimmy, while also acknowledging the enduring love she has for Patch. This moment speaks to the nature of familial relationships—how past hurts are carried with us, often unspoken, and how they shape the way we move forward in life. The intensity of their exchange underscores the idea that healing comes not just through time but through confronting the pain and learning to let go of the past.