Chapter 138 opens on a stormy day, with Saint standing in the downpour, looking at Nix, who remains seated under the shelter of a large tree. His stoic expression is barely affected by the rain, as he is completely absorbed by the deep roots of the tree. These roots appear to hold his attention, perhaps offering him a connection to something larger than the storm around them. Saint approaches, driven by a desire to find something tangible from the past—the kind of object that holds memories and identities, something to solidify their search for answers. Her words are carefully chosen, heavy with the need to unearth the past, and she yearns for a piece of this mystery to reveal itself.

The conversation between Saint and Nix delves into deeper territory, revealing the complex nature of their feelings. Saint opens up about the uncertainty she feels, unsure of how to move forward while balancing the competing emotions of longing and unresolved grief. Nix, sensing the weight of her internal struggle, reassures her that the answers she seeks are not external—they are buried deep within herself, shaped by her experiences and the hard truths she’s already discovered. His words offer comfort, a reminder that sometimes the wisdom we seek from others is already contained within, only waiting to be acknowledged and understood.

The topic of love shifts the focus, as Nix speaks candidly about how deep affection can drive a person to search for meaning, even when it is clouded by uncertainty and regret. He shares his perspective on how love can inspire someone to seek out memories, to unearth painful truths, and to reframe their understanding of events from the past. It is this persistent drive, he explains, that keeps people moving forward, even when they don’t fully understand what they are chasing. Nix’s insights leave Saint with more to ponder about her own motivations and the unspoken forces that have shaped her journey so far.

Saint, feeling an unspoken connection with Nix, shifts the conversation to faith, asking him about his own spiritual life. Nix confides that his weekly prayers are not about seeking forgiveness, but about seeking understanding, particularly for the mistakes he feels burdened by. His honesty surprises Saint, who admits that she no longer feels connected to the church after past betrayals. The once familiar walls of the church now feel cold and unwelcoming, a space that lost its meaning after it failed her family in their time of need. Instead, Saint finds solace in her quiet prayers by the lake, away from the formal rituals of the church that once defined her.

Although Nix listens carefully, he does not push Saint to reconsider her position on religion. Instead, he reassures her that there are many paths to spirituality, and some of the most meaningful connections are found in solitude and personal reflection. He reminds her that spiritual strength isn’t always about following established traditions but about embracing the act of searching, the deep and personal journey that leads us to the truth. His gentle encouragement offers a different perspective, one that doesn’t rely on external validation but on inner peace and personal growth.

As their conversation continues, Saint reveals her concerns about her grandmother’s judgment of her, wondering whether she’s meeting her expectations. Nix, however, suggests that the true measure of a person is not in what others think but in their ability to remain true to themselves, even in the face of doubt. He reassures her that her struggles and her determination to find her own way are what matter most, and that she should not feel burdened by the approval or disapproval of others. His words offer comfort, a reminder that self-worth is defined by actions, not by the opinions of others.

The rain continues to pour around them, creating a calming, almost meditative atmosphere. As they sit together in the downpour, a sense of mutual understanding and quiet companionship settles between them. The storm, rather than separating them, seems to bring them closer together, each of them reflecting on their own path while acknowledging the connection they share. Saint realizes that while no concrete answers have emerged from their conversation, she feels less isolated in her struggles. The rain becomes a symbol of both cleansing and clarity, washing away the confusion and doubts that have clouded her mind. In this moment of shared reflection, Saint feels a quiet sense of peace, knowing that despite the challenges they both face, they are not alone.