Chapter 57 of All the Colors of the Dark depicts Saint as she waits in uncertainty outside an old house on Rosewood Avenue, hoping for a glimpse of someone crucial to her. Each day, she finds herself drawn to the house, spending hours in a rusting lawn chair, where she is often comforted by Ivy. Ivy reassures her that the person she waits for is simply tired and asleep, yet Saint remains restless, unable to shake the feeling that something important is unfolding just beyond her reach. This vigil symbolizes her emotional state, as she is caught in a period of waiting, full of unanswered questions and an overwhelming sense of longing. The house, with its faded exterior and silence, represents the disconnection and unresolved emotions that consume Saint, as she remains tethered to a hope that feels increasingly distant.

During this time of waiting, Saint tries to channel her feelings into creativity, attempting to craft a pirate card as an outlet for her emotions. However, as she works on the card, she finds herself dissatisfied with the result, deeming it childish and unworthy of her true feelings. Her frustration with the card reflects her inner struggle, as she is unable to express the depth of her emotions in a way that feels authentic. The process of creating the card becomes symbolic of her larger battle—she is caught between wanting to make something meaningful and the reality that nothing seems to capture the complexity of what she is experiencing. This inner turmoil serves as a poignant reminder of Saint’s struggle to make sense of her feelings in the midst of waiting and uncertainty, as she grapples with the emotional weight of her situation.

At school, Saint faces the weight of rumors surrounding Patch, the person she is deeply concerned about. Whispers spread that Patch has returned disfigured, having suffered horrific injuries inflicted by a malevolent figure from the nearby woodland. These rumors cast a dark shadow over her daily life, making her already challenging school experience even more difficult to navigate. The gossip surrounds her, adding to the emotional strain she feels, as her concern for Patch’s well-being is compounded by the cruel distortions of the truth circulating among her peers. The rumors only amplify Saint’s sense of helplessness, as she is trapped between the desire to protect Patch’s privacy and the painful reality of his absence and the consequences of the stories being told about him.

Misty, a classmate, approaches Saint one day during homeroom, asking about Patch. Saint feels the urge to protect him by concealing the truth, but instead, she chooses silence, unable to share the personal details of his situation with anyone. This exchange highlights the internal conflict that Saint faces—on one hand, she wants to shield Patch’s privacy and protect her own feelings, but on the other, she is burdened by the weight of the silence she maintains. Her choice to remain silent underscores the isolation she feels, as she struggles to navigate the complexities of her emotions in the face of others’ curiosity and gossip. The tension between her desire to protect and her need to keep things hidden further emphasizes the emotional distance she feels from those around her, leaving her feeling more disconnected than ever.

After school, Saint has a brief interaction with Jimmy Walters, a classmate who tries to connect with her by bringing her wildflowers. Their exchanges are a mix of awkwardness and humor, and their interaction culminates in a misunderstanding about an invitation to see a “beaver.” This miscommunication provides a brief moment of levity amidst the heavy atmosphere that surrounds Saint’s life, allowing her to experience a rare moment of connection. For a brief moment, she feels a sense of lightness, a break from the weight of her emotional burdens. This exchange with Jimmy, though seemingly trivial, highlights Saint’s longing for friendship and a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of her emotional world. Her ability to laugh, even briefly, marks a pivotal moment in her emotional journey, as she realizes how long it has been since she truly felt joy.

This chapter reflects Saint’s profound isolation, captured in her moments of waiting, grappling with rumors, and struggling with her own emotional turmoil. While the fleeting moments of friendship and humor provide some relief, they cannot erase the weight of her ongoing struggles. Saint is caught between the pressure of societal expectations and the internal conflict of trying to protect those she cares about, all while facing a loneliness that runs deep. The chapter encapsulates the difficulties of navigating emotional complexities, dealing with gossip, and the quiet yearning for connection. Saint’s experience in this chapter demonstrates how personal challenges can make one feel isolated, yet the potential for connection, even in small moments, offers a glimmer of hope in the midst of her emotional battle.