Chapter 155 depicts a pivotal moment for Patch as he embarks on a drastic journey of rebuilding and personal reflection. The narrative begins with Patch, alongside his self-imposed isolation, deciding to demolish the remains of his past with the powerful machinery of a track excavator. The decision to tear down his former home, once filled with memories, symbolizes the emotional cleansing Patch seeks, reducing his history to rubble. With a mix of determination and anguish, Patch uses a bulldozer to clear the land, further symbolizing his desire to start anew and sever ties with the past.

After the destruction, Patch’s life takes a nomadic turn as he starts living in his car, leaving behind any semblance of stability. He depends on Saint and her grandmother for meals and support, staying with them when he’s not working. His interactions with them during this period, though meaningful, are tainted by his sense of displacement. He no longer lives in the home that once housed his dreams and his memories of the past. In these moments of fleeting comfort, the weight of what he has lost and what he is trying to rebuild becomes even more pronounced.

During a shared meal, Saint poses an important question about Patch’s future, prompting him to respond with the words, “I build.” This simple statement, though laden with meaning, carries both optimism and a sense of resignation. Patch, unable to afford an architect, relies solely on his memories and paintings as blueprints for his new life. This unconventional approach, dismissed as reckless by some, is his only way forward. He plans to craft something with his own hands, to create a structure that mirrors his innermost desires and struggles, even if others cannot see the vision he holds.

Patch’s need for independence and self-sufficiency becomes more pronounced as funds for the project dwindle. He is forced to sell paintings, each sale a painful surrender of his past. These works, once created with love and intention, now serve as a means to finance the rebuilding of his life, each transaction symbolizing a personal sacrifice. Charlotte, seeing the state of Patch’s existence, becomes increasingly concerned. Her blunt observations of Patch’s chaotic situation remind him of the growing divide between his intentions and his actions, pushing him to face the uncomfortable truths about his choices.

As the physical work on the house continues, Patch faces setbacks. Sleepless nights take their toll, and the pressure of compliance with building codes weighs heavily on him. His neighbors, already unsettled by the commotion, begin to voice their dissatisfaction with the disruption. Patch’s exhaustion and frustration mount, but he pushes forward, determined to finish the house he started. During an inspection, Patch’s past struggles come to light, and he shares a personal story of loss and resilience. This moment of vulnerability leads to a compromise, allowing him to continue working without facing severe penalties.

The arrival of winter brings new challenges to Patch’s efforts. Work grinds to a halt as the weather becomes increasingly harsh, forcing Patch to abandon his construction site. As a gesture of warmth and connection, Charlotte gifts Patch a wool hat, symbolizing a rare moment of care and tenderness. In return, Patch paints a portrait of Charlotte with her mother, capturing a fleeting but precious moment in time. The act of painting brings him closer to Charlotte, but the emotional gap between them remains a constant source of tension, reminding him of the unresolved struggles within their relationship.

Late at night, Patch embarks on a personal journey to seek closure regarding his lost past. These late-night excursions, driven by his desire for answers, further highlight Patch’s ongoing struggle to reconcile with his history. Despite his personal turmoil, Patch’s determination to create a new future for himself and Charlotte does not waver. Through these relentless efforts, he gradually finds pieces of himself in the process of rebuilding, both literally and emotionally. Each step in this new chapter reflects a desire to find peace and closure amid the chaos of life, marking a significant point of transformation for Patch as he continues his journey.

This chapter, through its exploration of loss, hope, and resilience, illustrates Patch’s unwavering commitment to creating a future despite the uncertainty and chaos surrounding him. The physical act of building mirrors Patch’s emotional journey, as he struggles to put the pieces of his past behind him and craft a new identity. The story poignantly highlights the complexity of moving forward while dealing with the ghosts of what has come before, creating a deeply emotional narrative about personal growth, transformation, and the continuous effort to find one’s place in the world.