Chapter 113 of All the Colors of the Dark unfolds at Saint’s wedding, where she stands before the gathered townspeople and her groom, Jimmy, in a formal ceremony. Despite her best efforts to smile and recite her vows, an emotional moment catches her off guard when she locks eyes with Patch, a significant figure from her past. Their brief exchange of gazes leaves Saint shaken, but Patch disappears before she can reach out. After the ceremony, as confetti rains down on the newlyweds outside, Saint slips away from her husband to seek out Patch, who has distanced himself from the celebration. Their conversation is filled with nostalgia as Patch briefly shares snippets of his life while Saint updates him on their mutual friend, Sammy, revealing that Sammy is doing well.

Saint reflects on her current life with Jimmy, grappling with a deep sense of discontent. While Jimmy has clear expectations for their future, Saint feels torn as his vision for their life together clashes with her own desires. She reassures Patch that Jimmy treats her well, but internally, Saint struggles with the sacrifices she is making to align with Jimmy’s aspirations, including setting aside her own career as a cop. As she contemplates the life ahead, she comes to the painful realization that she is expected to abandon her identity and desires to fit into the mold of the life Jimmy envisions. This conflict deepens her internal turmoil as she feels herself losing the sense of self that had defined her for so long.

In a poignant moment, Patch embraces Saint, and they both recognize the emotional weight of their bond. As they hold each other, Saint softly whispers, “I miss you,” and Patch responds, “Every day,” signaling the depth of their unresolved feelings for one another. Their brief exchange hints at many unspoken truths that have been left to fester over the years. Despite the intensity of their emotions, both Saint and Patch seem to understand that bringing these feelings to light may not necessarily bring resolution or change. Their connection is undeniable, but the acknowledgment that discussing the past might not alter their futures adds a layer of complexity to their relationship, leaving both characters uncertain of what to do next.

As Saint returns to the reception, Jimmy greets her with a compliment, lightly teasing her about her choice of hairstyle. She puts on a smile and engages with the guests, masking the emotional chaos brewing inside her. Despite her outward appearance of happiness, she is internally wrestling with the conflicting emotions that have surfaced throughout the day. The chapter concludes with an intimate moment between Saint and Jimmy as they share a dance on the floor. As they sway to the music, Saint softly sings to herself, her quiet voice reflecting the hidden turmoil within her. This moment encapsulates her struggle for both connection and fulfillment, as she navigates the complex tension between her internal desires and her external performance in front of others. The contrast between her emotional dissonance and her outward portrayal of contentment underscores the difficulty she faces in reconciling her love for Jimmy with her need to maintain her own identity and independence.

This chapter explores the tension between Saint’s personal fulfillment and the expectations placed upon her by others, especially in the context of her relationship with Jimmy. Her internal battle is heightened by the appearance of Patch, who symbolizes a life and a path not taken, one that represents freedom and self-discovery. The juxtaposition of Saint’s vows to Jimmy with the undeniable pull she feels toward Patch creates a powerful emotional conflict, making it clear that Saint’s journey is not just about love but also about reconciling her sense of self. As she navigates the complexities of her marriage, her career, and her personal desires, Saint finds herself at a crossroads, unsure of how to move forward without losing herself entirely.