CHAPTER 35 – Living on your Friends

In “Worldly Ways and Byways,” Chapter 35, titled “Living on Your Friends,” delves into the art of living luxuriously without owning significant wealth. Drawing inspiration from Thackeray’s “Vanity Fair,” the chapter explores the societal evolution from the Victorian era, illustrating how certain individuals have mastered the art of enjoying the perks of a multi-millionaire lifestyle through the hospitality of affluent friends. This lifestyle not only benefits the individual but often provides satisfaction to their hosts as well. The author comments on human nature’s unchanging desire for comfort and status, despite advancements in education and social norms.

The narrative shifts to the American context, where the newly wealthy replicate aristocratic traditions by surrounding themselves with a court of attendants, highlighting how these roles are readily filled by eager natives. These modern aristocrats discover the challenge of filling their grand houses and yachts with desirable company, leaning on “professionals” who excel in being entertaining guests at a moment’s notice, thus embodying the principle of living well without personal wealth.

This type of guest, available for any occasion, provides a valuable service to their hosts, seamlessly integrating into high society without the financial means. The chapter underscores the transactional nature of such relationships, where hospitality exchanged for companionship and entertainment is not seen critically but as a mutual benefit, enveloped in the customs of contemporary society.

Emphasizing the adaptability required to navigate this lifestyle, the author contrasts the roles of men and women, with women often needing to provide a broader range of social services to secure their place within wealthy circles. These services range from excelling in games to accompanying less desirable guests, thus sparing the hostess the inconvenience.

The chapter concludes by reflecting on the simpler, less financially burdensome expectations for unmarried men in modern society, where their obligations are significantly reduced compared to past social norms. Through examples ranging from attending operas to dancing cotillions, the text illustrates the shifting dynamics of social expectations, highlighting the progression towards a more accessible and less costly participation in high society for those adept at navigating its byways.