Chap­ter 28 — Incon­sis­ten­cies offers a thought-pro­vok­ing encounter between two men from vast­ly dif­fer­ent cul­tures as they observe the unfold­ing of a for­mal Amer­i­can social event. One, a West­ern­er used to the ebb and flow of local cus­toms, casu­al­ly lights a cig­ar on the piaz­za to escape dull con­ver­sa­tion about sports. The oth­er, a young Turk, car­ries him­self with solemn curios­i­ty, hav­ing expect­ed the event to begin prompt­ly, as writ­ten on the invi­ta­tion. His con­fu­sion is met with calm explanation—the start time is just a for­mal­i­ty, not a promise. The West­ern­er chuck­les at the cul­tur­al dif­fer­ence, not­ing how such loose­ness with time is not care­less­ness, but a reflec­tion of Amer­i­can infor­mal­i­ty in social gath­er­ings.

As the ball­room fills with guests, the Turk­ish man becomes increas­ing­ly bewil­dered by the con­tra­dic­tions he observes. The women, adorned in gowns that sparkle under the gaslight, move freely in dances that involve close con­tact with their male part­ners. Yet these same women, he’s told, live by rules that place heavy empha­sis on mod­esty, pro­pri­ety, and the appear­ance of virtue. This con­tra­dic­tion seems illog­i­cal to him. How can such inti­mate pub­lic ges­tures coex­ist with strict codes of moral judg­ment? The West­ern­er explains it as part of the Amer­i­can para­dox, where behav­ior is judged dif­fer­ent­ly depend­ing on place and time—even when it appears iden­ti­cal on the sur­face.

Their con­ver­sa­tion turns toward women’s roles and expec­ta­tions, with the Amer­i­can remark­ing on how men often become bystanders to their wives’ social lives. He offers a dry obser­va­tion that women here are not sub­mis­sive, but rather cen­tral to the rhythm of soci­ety, often pri­or­i­tiz­ing pub­lic charm over pri­vate inti­ma­cy. The Turk, raised in a cul­ture where fem­i­nine mod­esty is para­mount and mar­i­tal struc­ture rigid, finds this inde­pen­dence both admirable and unset­tling. The West­ern­er, aware of his own culture’s incon­sis­ten­cies, does not defend them so much as acknowl­edge their com­plex­i­ty. To judge by appear­ance alone, he adds, would often lead one astray in America’s shift­ing social land­scape.

The dis­cus­sion deep­ens when they touch on flirtation—a prac­tice seen as both harm­less and scan­dalous depend­ing on one’s audi­ence. The Amer­i­can draws atten­tion to the per­for­ma­tive nature of inter­ac­tions at the opera or ball­room, where fash­ion and flir­ta­tion are forms of social cur­ren­cy. A woman’s dress may shock in one con­text and seem per­fect­ly accept­able in anoth­er, depend­ing on the room she’s in and who’s watch­ing. The Turk remarks that such shift­ing codes would be seen as hypocrisy back home. His com­pan­ion coun­ters that it’s not hypocrisy, but rather a form of adapt­abil­i­ty, root­ed in the free­dom to shape appear­ances accord­ing to social set­ting.

As they con­tin­ue to talk, the West­ern­er rec­og­nizes how dif­fi­cult it is to explain these con­tra­dic­tions. The Turk­ish guest is thought­ful, try­ing to rec­on­cile the refined hos­pi­tal­i­ty he’s received with the loose­ness of the cus­toms around him. He finds it pecu­liar that Amer­i­ca prizes both open­ness and secre­cy, encour­ag­ing bold dis­play but quick judg­ment. The West­ern­er con­cedes that Amer­i­cans often strug­gle to live up to their own ideals, that their cul­ture is one of many dou­ble standards—and yet one that embraces self-exam­i­na­tion. It is this ten­sion between free­dom and pro­pri­ety that defines their pub­lic life.

The Turk, in the end, says lit­tle more. His silence car­ries the weight of reflec­tion, the kind that doesn’t seek imme­di­ate answers. For him, the evening has become less about danc­ing and more about try­ing to under­stand a cul­ture that speaks in con­tra­dic­tions. The West­ern­er watch­es the younger man return to the ball­room, unsure whether he’s clos­er to under­stand­ing or more con­fused than ever. But there’s an unspo­ken agree­ment that the truth, as ever, lies some­where between per­cep­tion and inten­tion.

This chap­ter becomes not just a tale of cul­tur­al com­par­i­son but an invi­ta­tion for read­ers to con­sid­er how norms are formed, chal­lenged, and some­times con­tra­dict­ed. By draw­ing atten­tion to America’s social incon­sis­ten­cies through the lens of an out­sider, it asks a time­less ques­tion: are we shaped by our prin­ci­ples, or by the ways we learn to bend them?