Ghostroots
Imagine Me Carrying You
by Aguda, ‘PemiThe chapter opens with the protagonist returning from a weekend getaway to learn about her mother’s involvement in a fatal car accident. While staying at a friend’s mansion to avoid her mother’s scrutiny, she receives a call from her father, who reveals that her mother hit and killed a young woman during a heavy rainstorm on the Ibadan Expressway. The family of the deceased has chosen not to involve the police, and her mother, though financially compensating them, is emotionally shattered. The protagonist rushes home to find her mother inconsolable, wrapped in grief and guilt, a stark contrast to her usual composed demeanor.
Upon arriving home, the protagonist attempts to comfort her mother, but her efforts are met with hostility. When she makes a dark joke about the inefficiency of the justice system, her mother slaps her—an unprecedented act of violence that shocks the protagonist. This moment underscores the depth of her mother’s trauma and the strained relationship between them. The mother’s obsession with attending the victim’s burial further highlights her desperation for absolution, even as the deceased’s family rejects her presence, leaving her to grapple with her guilt in isolation.
The mother’s grief takes a haunting turn as she recounts the accident in vivid detail, comparing the victim’s weight to her daughter’s and describing the futile attempt to save her life. This monologue reveals the mother’s psychological torment, blurring the lines between the victim and her own child. Meanwhile, the protagonist discovers a temporary voter’s registration card belonging to the deceased, Eyitayo Omolade Ogunlesi, which her mother has kept as a morbid keepsake. The card humanizes the victim, forcing the protagonist to confront the reality of the life lost, though she resists delving deeper into the victim’s identity.
The chapter closes with the protagonist reflecting on her mother’s tendency to preemptively punish her for imagined transgressions, a pattern that has defined their relationship. Despite her desire to escape through parties and alcohol, she stays by her mother’s side, resentful yet resigned to her role as the caretaker. The mother’s assumption that her daughter would prioritize fun over family underscores their mutual misunderstanding, leaving the protagonist to navigate the complexities of guilt, grief, and familial duty.
FAQs
1. How does the narrator’s relationship with her mother evolve throughout the chapter, and what key incident catalyzes this change?
Answer:
The narrator’s relationship with her mother shifts from one of habitual tension to a more complex dynamic following the fatal car accident. Initially, the narrator avoids her mother’s calls and critiques (evidenced by turning off her phone to escape questioning). However, after her mother accidentally kills a young woman, the narrator becomes a reluctant caretaker. The pivotal moment occurs when her mother slaps her after an insensitive comment about the justice system—the first physical violence in their relationship. This incident marks a turning point where the mother’s grief manifests as aggression, while the daughter oscillates between resentment and reluctant compassion, as seen when she pockets the victim’s ID card to spare her mother further pain.2. Analyze the symbolic significance of the temporary voter’s registration card in the chapter. How does it deepen the themes of guilt and anonymity?
Answer:
The victim’s voter card symbolizes the collision between impersonal bureaucracy and profound personal loss. While the card reduces Eyitayo Omolade Ogunlesi to sterile statistics (height, blood type, registration location), the narrator’s fixation on its blunt edges and imagined backstory (“lazy, smart, loved?”) underscores the erasure of her humanity. The card becomes a physical token of the mother’s guilt—she clings to it as a distorted keepsake, while the narrator’s act of pocketing it reflects both a desire to shield her mother and an avoidance of confronting the victim’s personhood. This duality mirrors the broader theme of how systemic failures (like inadequate road safety) render tragedies both anonymous and deeply intimate.3. How does weather function as both a literal and metaphorical force in the accident’s aftermath?
Answer:
Weather operates on multiple levels: literally, the “crazy rain” during the accident obscures visibility and floods roads, contributing to the crash. Metaphorically, it reflects emotional turmoil. The rain “slapping” the mother’s body as she carries the dying girl mirrors the violence of her guilt. Later, the narrator’s description of her mother’s “disintegration” on the sofa echoes the earlier flooding—both suggest overwhelming, uncontrollable forces. Even the “too-bright” phone screen upon receiving the news contrasts with the storm, emphasizing the jarring intersection of mundane technology and life-altering grief.4. Evaluate the narrator’s conflicted attitude toward her mother’s grief. What does her response reveal about their relationship dynamics?
Answer:
The narrator vacillates between empathy and resentment. While she attempts comfort (“We have to be grateful for the ineptitude of our justice system”), her tone is flippant, triggering her mother’s slap—a moment revealing their fractured communication. Her internal monologue critiques her mother’s assumptions (e.g., expecting her to prioritize parties) yet she stays to care for her. This push-pull dynamic reflects years of preemptive criticism from the mother (e.g., cutting her hair to prevent “vanity”) that has bred defensiveness. The narrator’s act of stealing the voter card—an unspoken gesture of protection—hints at a deeper, unarticulated love beneath their adversarial patterns.5. How does the chapter use physical objects (the phone, adire boubou, voter card) to convey emotional states? Provide specific examples.
Answer:
Objects serve as emotional proxies throughout the chapter:- The phone symbolizes fractured connections—the narrator turns it off to avoid her mother, but its “too-bright” reboot heralds grim news, while later unanswered calls to the victim’s brother underscore helplessness.
- The adire boubou (indigo-dyed robe) mirrors the mother’s unraveling; its “amorphous swirls” reflect her disordered grief as she stains it with tears and food.
- The voter card embodies the weight of guilt and anonymity. Its blunt edges contrast with the sharpness of the mother’s trauma, while the narrator’s pocketing of it becomes a tactile metaphor for suppressed grief.
These objects anchor abstract emotions in tangible details, deepening the narrative’s psychological realism.
- The phone symbolizes fractured connections—the narrator turns it off to avoid her mother, but its “too-bright” reboot heralds grim news, while later unanswered calls to the victim’s brother underscore helplessness.
Quotes
1. “The divorce has been final for almost two years, how am I still her emergency contact? […] She needs to make you her next of kin.”
This quote reveals the father’s self-centeredness and the fractured family dynamics, setting the tone for the narrator’s strained relationships. It introduces the theme of responsibility (or avoidance thereof) that permeates the chapter.
2. “She was mewling—low and sad and heart-wrenching. […] sounds that reminded me of a horror movie where the woman is haunted by her dead children.”
This visceral description captures the mother’s profound grief and guilt over the accident, showing how trauma has reduced her to primal sounds. The horror movie simile foreshadows how this event will haunt both mother and daughter.
3. “‘I had to carry her,’ my mother said, ‘after I hit her […] imagine me carrying you now […] and I was telling her don’t die, don’t die, don’t die, […] but she died, she still died.’”
The chapter’s titular quote represents the mother’s traumatic confession, blending physical burden with emotional weight. The parallel between the victim and daughter (“imagine me carrying you”) makes the death painfully personal.
4. “She was always one step ahead, reprimanding me for a crime that had not been committed, correcting a mistake I had not yet even conceived.”
This insight into the mother-daughter relationship shows how the mother’s controlling nature has shaped the narrator’s resentment. It contextualizes their current dynamic amid the accident’s aftermath.