Ghostroots
Breastmilk
by Aguda, ‘PemiThe chapter opens with the protagonist’s raw and conflicted emotions after childbirth as she holds her newborn son for the first time. She describes the baby as a “warm, slimy creature,” reflecting her detachment, while hospital staff interact with her in a patronizing manner. Her husband, Timi, attempts to participate but is sidelined by the traditional hospital protocols, mirroring the protagonist’s own unspoken tensions in their marriage. The physical exhaustion of labor contrasts with her observational focus on Timi’s tearful pride as he holds their swaddled child, though she deliberately turns away from this emotional moment.
The narrative shifts to the protagonist’s mother visiting the next morning, brimming with pride and questions about the birth. Their strained dynamic emerges as the mother dominates conversations while the protagonist, physically drained, resists engagement. A discussion about a postponed conference reveals the mother’s priorities—her activist work on chemosensory research—while highlighting the protagonist’s lingering concerns about being overshadowed. The mother’s performative care contrasts with the daughter’s desire for autonomy, a tension exacerbated when a nurse arrives to check lactation progress.
A confrontation unfolds as the nurse insists on examining the protagonist’s breasts despite her insistence that no milk has come in. The protagonist’s sharp resistance—grabbing the nurse’s wrist—and her mother’s correction of the nurse’s use of “Mrs.” underscore their shared defiance of societal expectations. This scene amplifies the protagonist’s bodily autonomy struggles, linking her inability to lactate with deeper anxieties about failed maternal norms and unresolved marital betrayal, as hinted by her fixation on the nurse’s resemblance to someone from Timi’s past.
The chapter closes with preparations for discharge, where physical touch becomes a metaphor for trust issues. Timi’s dry palms remind the protagonist of his past affair, casting doubt on her performative forgiveness. As she holds her unnamed son, the doctor’s reassurances about delayed lactation go unheard, symbolizing her unspoken fears of inadequacy. The fragmented ending leaves her emotional state unresolved, suspended between societal pressures of motherhood and the weight of unprocessed betrayal.
FAQs
1. How does the narrator’s description of her initial reaction to holding her newborn son reveal her emotional state?
Answer:
The narrator’s description reveals a complex mix of detachment and anxiety. She refers to her son as a “warm, slimy creature” and describes holding him “loosely” with a forced smile, suggesting emotional distance (p. 23). The hyperbolic fear that he might “squirt out of my grip and ricochet off the walls” underscores her sense of unfamiliarity and discomfort with motherhood. This contrasts sharply with cultural expectations of immediate maternal bonding, hinting at postpartum emotional complexity.2. Analyze how the hospital staff’s treatment of Timi during the birth reflects gender dynamics in Nigerian healthcare.
Answer:
The chapter highlights traditional gender roles through the nurses’ refusal to let Timi cut the umbilical cord and their patronizing attitude (“mummy” tone). The narrator notes this isn’t a “New Age hospital” that encourages paternal participation (p. 23). Timi’s relegated role as “bystander” despite his visible emotion (tearful smile, stiff posture holding the baby) critiques institutionalized gender norms that exclude fathers from meaningful birth experiences while burdening mothers with sole responsibility.3. What symbolic significance does the narrator’s inability to produce breastmilk carry in relation to her marriage?
Answer:
The lactation struggle parallels her strained marriage. Her “stubbornly dry” nipples (p. 26) mirror emotional barrenness after Timi’s affair (“should he trust this woman if she doesn’t believe… her own forgiveness?” p. 26-27). The nurse’s invasive examination mirrors how infidelity exposed their private life. Just as her body won’t perform expected biological functions, her marriage can’t fulfill expected emotional roles, with both failures carrying social stigma (“your son isn’t pooping as much as we’d like” implying maternal inadequacy).4. How does the narrator’s mother function as both comfort and complication in the postpartum scene?
Answer:
The mother provides physical comfort (stroking cheeks) and advocacy (correcting “Mrs.” to “Ms.”), embodying feminist ideals (p. 25-26). Yet her overwhelming presence (“barrage” of questions, speaking for the narrator) mirrors societal pressures on new mothers (p. 24-25). Her prioritization of grandchild over career (dismissing her conference) contrasts with the narrator’s more ambivalent motherhood, creating generational tension about women’s roles. Her care is loving but suffocating, reflecting familial complexities in postpartum support systems.5. Evaluate how sensory details in the birth scene enhance the themes of bodily autonomy and vulnerability.
Answer:
Vivid sensory descriptions - “gritty eyes,” “leaking, melting shape,” “pelvic region throbs” (p. 24) - ground the physical trauma of childbirth. This rawness contrasts with clinical violations (nurse grabbing gown without consent, p. 26) to underscore how childbirth strips bodily autonomy. The juxtaposition of Timi’s “dry palms” (unreadable) with her leaking body highlights gendered vulnerability differences. Olfactory references (mother’s friend researching “chemosignals”) ironically emphasize what the narrator cannot smell - emotional truth in her marriage (p. 25).
Quotes
1. “I stretch my mouth into the likeness of a smile. I don’t look down at the baby. I hold him loosely: too tight and he might squirt out of my grip and ricochet off the white walls of my hospital room.”
This opening passage powerfully captures the protagonist’s emotional detachment and physical discomfort in her first moments of motherhood. The visceral imagery contrasts sharply with conventional expectations of maternal bonding.
2. “There are many things I don’t say to my husband.”
A pivotal statement revealing the protagonist’s emotional withholding in her marriage. This simple line carries significant weight as it foreshadows later revelations about their strained relationship and her husband’s infidelity.
3. “Should he trust this woman if she doesn’t believe the truth of her own forgiveness?”
This introspective question cuts to the heart of the protagonist’s internal conflict regarding her husband’s affair. It exposes the complex dynamics of trust and the performative nature of forgiveness in their relationship.
4. “I am excused from responding to her barrage because I am a woman who just had a baby, an exhausted woman who endured earth-shifting contractions, who thrashed through a forest of clawing pain…”
This vivid description of postpartum exhaustion serves as both a physical reality and a metaphor for the protagonist’s emotional state. It highlights how society’s expectations of new mothers can simultaneously constrain and provide temporary refuge.
5. “My gritty eyes want to close against the world, and my aching body wants to gather its leaking, melting shape into itself so I can recover from all the pushing and groaning and bloody catastrophes of childbirth.”
A raw, unflinching portrayal of the physical aftermath of childbirth that challenges romanticized notions of motherhood. The bodily imagery reflects both physical trauma and the protagonist’s desire for emotional withdrawal.