CHAPTER 5 – On Some Gilded Misalliances

In Chapter 5 of “Worldly Ways and Byways,” the author reflects on the complex and often unfortunate outcomes of marriages between American women and foreign nobility, drawing from the words of an experienced American lady in Rome who remarked on the rarity of truly happy unions in such circumstances. The author, once naive and idealistic about these international marriages, has come to recognize their inherent challenges through years of observation and reality checks.

The narrative begins with a critique of the romantic notion that marrying into foreign nobility is akin to fairy tales, only to reveal the grim aftermath post-wedding, likening it to a theater emptied of its audience and magic. These international matches are depicted as products of naive ambition and a lack of worldly understanding, where rich American families, dazzled by titles and the allure of aristocracy, hastily arrange marriages without thorough knowledge of the suitor’s background or character.

The author recounts the sequence of events typical in such misalliances: a quick courtship, the transactional nature of the marriage arrangement, and the façade of elevated social status, which often crumbles into disillusionment and regret. Notably, the author shares anecdotes to illustrate the comedic or tragic outcomes of these unions, from American brides struggling against the traditions and expectations of their new foreign families, to marriages constrained by differing social norms and financial priorities.

These stories serve to criticize the American fascination with foreign nobility, questioning the wisdom of trading daughters and wealth for dubious titles. The author argues this phenomenon is unique to American society, as women from other countries rarely marry outside their nationality due to pride and a sense of national identity. The chapter concludes with a comparison between the constrained lives of American women married to French noblemen and a more independent American wife, suggesting that happiness in marriage may be more readily found in shared values and freedoms than in the pursuit of status or titles. The real success of a marriage, the author implies, lies in mutual respect and understanding, rather than the superficial allure of aristocracy.