CHAPTER 22 – Growing Old Ungracefully

In the chapter “Growing Old Ungracefully” from “The Ways of Men,” the narrative delves into the universal, albeit often resisted, process of aging and the societal reactions to it. The text introspectively examines the human condition’s inevitable encounter with the marks of aging, such as graying hair and the appearance of wrinkles, posing a philosophic question: Should one accept the natural progression into middle age with grace, or rather, resist it, embarking on a futile struggle against the inexorable march of time?

Historically, the obsession with maintaining a youthful appearance was more pronounced among men, as illustrated by figures such as Caesar and the Grand Monarque, who employed various artifices to conceal their aging. However, the contemporary battleground of this age-old war against aging has shifted, with women now at the forefront, striving more than ever to preserve their youthfulness. This phenomenon is critiqued as being not only widespread but also somewhat nonsensical, given the natural limitations of such endeavors to halt the visible signs of aging.

The text articulates a nuanced observation: efforts aimed at preserving youth often backfire, as exemplified by the anecdote of a French beauty who, in striving to look significantly younger than her fifty years, was rumored to be over sixty. This ironic outcome highlights the futility and, sometimes, the counterproductiveness of attempting to defy aging.

The chapter then transitions to critique the means by which contemporary society, particularly women, attempt to cling to youth. It laments the lack of recognition that each stage of life possesses its own inherent beauty, which is often overshadowed by incongruous attempts to mimic youthfulness. Such efforts, the narrative suggests, not only fail to deceive but also forsake the unique appeal and dignity that come with aging.

Reminiscing about the Ancien Régime in France, where matters of taste were paramount, the narrative contrasts the elegance with which aging was accepted and embellished with flattering attire. It posits that true attractiveness and charm in later years stem not from futile attempts at rejuvenation but from embracing one’s age with grace, embodying it with appropriate styles that highlight the undimmed elegance of maturity.

In summation, the chapter offers a poignant critique of society’s vain pursuit of eternal youth, advocating instead for a celebration of each phase of life’s natural progression. It calls for a return to recognizing and valuing the authentic beauty inherent in aging, suggesting that true grace lies not in fighting the inevitable but in embracing it with dignity and self-respect.