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    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.
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    If These Wings Could Fly

    Chapter Twenty-Three

    by McCauley, Kyrie

    In Chap­ter Twen­ty-Three of *If These Wings Could Fly*, the nar­ra­tive opens with a vivid descrip­tion of a bon­fire, sym­bol­iz­ing both phys­i­cal heat and inter­nal tur­moil. The pro­tag­o­nist, Leighton, feels over­whelmed by the fire’s inten­si­ty, which mir­rors her own emo­tion­al unrest. Amidst the warmth and flick­er­ing flames, she finds com­fort in Liam’s pres­ence, whose atten­tive and ground­ing demeanor pro­vides a momen­tary refuge from her inner chaos. Their qui­et con­nec­tion con­trasts sharply with the sur­round­ing envi­ron­ment, high­light­ing Leighton’s desire to escape the dis­com­fort and painful mem­o­ries ignit­ed by the fire.

    As the evening pro­gress­es, Leighton and Liam attempt to slip away from the group, but their depar­ture is quick­ly noticed and met with teas­ing from Liam’s intox­i­cat­ed friends. The inter­ac­tion under­scores the social ten­sions and dis­com­fort Leighton expe­ri­ences with­in this cir­cle, espe­cial­ly as she faces unwant­ed atten­tion and judg­ment. Liam’s apol­o­gy for his friends’ behav­ior and his pro­tec­tive stance reveal a deep­er care and sen­si­tiv­i­ty, set­ting the stage for a more inti­mate and gen­uine con­nec­tion away from the group’s scruti­ny.

    Choos­ing to evade the con­fines of their small town, Leighton play­ful­ly sug­gests impos­si­ble des­ti­na­tions, illus­trat­ing her long­ing for free­dom and escape. Liam responds with a pro­pos­al to sim­ply dri­ve around, and they ven­ture onto dark, qui­et back roads. The absence of street­lights and the iso­la­tion of the set­ting cre­ate a pri­vate space where their rela­tion­ship can evolve with­out inter­rup­tion. Their mutu­al hes­i­ta­tion and sub­se­quent deci­sion to stop the car sig­ni­fy a piv­otal moment of vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty and courage, as they nav­i­gate the unspo­ken ten­sion between them.

    The chap­ter cul­mi­nates in a ten­der and explorato­ry kiss, mark­ing a sig­nif­i­cant shift in Leighton’s self-per­cep­tion and emo­tion­al open­ness. The phys­i­cal close­ness and Liam’s gen­tle atten­tive­ness help Leighton shed her guard­ed per­sona, reveal­ing a more authen­tic and vul­ner­a­ble self. Despite an inter­nal voice cau­tion­ing restraint, she embraces the moment, expe­ri­enc­ing safe­ty and warmth in Liam’s pres­ence. This inti­mate encounter encap­su­lates Leighton’s com­plex feel­ings of desire, fear, and the hope for gen­uine con­nec­tion beyond her usu­al defens­es.

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    FAQs

    • 1. How does the imagery of the bonfire at the beginning of the chapter reflect Leighton’s internal emotional state?

      Answer:
      The bonfire is described as “well-enough contained in a pit” but with flames that “spit and lick” like “red and gold claws searching for something to catch on.” This vivid imagery symbolizes Leighton’s internal turmoil—though her emotions are superficially controlled, they feel wild and hungry beneath the surface. She even imagines the flames consuming an old house, which suggests a deep sense of destruction and loss tied to painful memories. The heat making her face “hot and flushed” and feeling “like the thing on fire” conveys how overwhelmed and vulnerable she feels emotionally, as if she is burning from the inside out. This metaphorical connection between the fire and her feelings sets the tone for her internal conflict throughout the chapter.

      2. What does Liam’s behavior and interaction with Leighton reveal about their relationship at this point in the story?

      Answer:
      Liam’s behavior shows attentiveness, care, and a desire to connect with Leighton on a more intimate level. He brushes her hair away from her eyes, offers physical comfort by putting his arm around her, and shows a focused gaze that makes them feel isolated from the crowd. Despite his friends’ rude comments, Liam apologizes and distances himself from their behavior, indicating respect for Leighton. When they drive away together, Liam is open to her suggestions and sensitive to her feelings, as seen when he asks if she wants to go home and later if what they are doing is okay. His actions suggest a budding romantic connection based on mutual respect and emotional safety, contrasting with the hostile social environment they just left.

      3. How does the chapter portray the social dynamics and peer interactions surrounding Leighton and Liam, and what impact does this have on Leighton?

      Answer:
      The social dynamics are tense and somewhat hostile, particularly from Liam’s friends who mock and make inappropriate comments toward Leighton. Alexis’s mocking smile and Brody’s dismissive remarks, along with Nick’s crude insinuation, create an uncomfortable atmosphere that isolates Leighton despite being in a group setting. This hostility underscores Leighton’s feelings of vulnerability and alienation, especially as she tries to maintain composure under their taunts. The negative peer interactions highlight the challenges Leighton faces in navigating social acceptance and reinforce her desire to escape to a safer, more private space with Liam. This tension also emphasizes the contrast between the superficial cruelty of the group and the genuine connection developing between the two main characters.

      4. Analyze the significance of the setting transition from the bonfire to the parked car in the dark woods. How does this shift influence the tone and themes of the chapter?

      Answer:
      The shift from the lively, fiery bonfire to the quiet, dark woods creates a significant change in tone—from chaotic and tense to intimate and vulnerable. The bonfire scene is charged with external conflict and social pressure, while the secluded car in the woods symbolizes a safe haven away from judgment and noise. This setting allows Leighton and Liam to explore their feelings more openly, marking a turning point in their relationship. The darkness enveloping them acts as a “blanket,” muffling distractions and fostering a sense of closeness and trust. Thematically, this transition underscores themes of escape, emotional honesty, and the contrast between public personas and private selves. It highlights Leighton’s need to find refuge from her internal and external struggles.

      5. Considering Leighton’s internal hesitation during the intimate moment with Liam, what does this reveal about her character development and the conflicts she is experiencing?

      Answer:
      Leighton’s hesitation reveals a complex interplay between her desire for connection and her fear of vulnerability. Internally, she hears a voice warning “Too fast,” indicating her awareness of potential emotional risks. However, she silences this caution with “Shut up,” showing her willingness to embrace the moment despite uncertainty. This tension highlights her struggle between maintaining control (as suggested by her “perfectionist” and “Ice Queen” labels) and allowing herself to be seen and accepted as just “Leighton.” Her mixed feelings of safety and terror reveal her growth as she begins to prioritize authentic emotional experience over rigid self-protection. This moment of vulnerability is crucial for her character development, marking a step toward deeper intimacy and self-acceptance.

    Quotes

    • 1. “The bonfire is well-enough contained in a pit dug into the earth and surrounded by a ring of stones, but the flames don’t know it. They spit and lick at us, red and gold claws searching for something to catch on.”

      This vivid metaphor captures the uncontrollable, consuming nature of the fire, symbolizing underlying emotional turmoil. It sets the tone for the chapter, illustrating how external containment cannot always restrain inner chaos.

      2. “The heat of the fire is too much. My face is hot and flushed, and I suddenly feel like I’m the thing on fire. The thing that splinters and burns from the inside out.”

      This introspective moment reveals the protagonist’s internal struggle, equating physical heat with emotional pain and vulnerability. It highlights the theme of personal conflict and foreshadows the emotional intensity to come.

      3. “When he drops his arm around me, it feels like an anchor. Like maybe I’m not about to fly apart into little bits of ash.”

      Here, the comforting presence of Liam symbolizes stability and support amidst the protagonist’s inner chaos. This quote emphasizes the importance of connection and grounding in moments of distress.

      4. “On the dark back roads, the two beams of the headlights stretch out so far ahead of us. There are no streetlights on these roads, and sometimes there’s a mile between houses. The lights are like bright neon arrows, showing me the way to go. Anywhere but home, they beckon.”

      This passage metaphorically expresses the desire to escape and the uncertainty of the future. The headlights as “neon arrows” symbolize guidance and possibility, contrasting with the protagonist’s reluctance to face her current reality.

      5. “Just Leighton.”

      This succinct and powerful declaration marks a turning point where the protagonist sheds imposed identities and expectations. It encapsulates a moment of self-acceptance and authenticity, underscoring the chapter’s emotional climax.

    Quotes

    1. “The bonfire is well-enough contained in a pit dug into the earth and surrounded by a ring of stones, but the flames don’t know it. They spit and lick at us, red and gold claws searching for something to catch on.”

    This vivid metaphor captures the uncontrollable, consuming nature of the fire, symbolizing underlying emotional turmoil. It sets the tone for the chapter, illustrating how external containment cannot always restrain inner chaos.

    2. “The heat of the fire is too much. My face is hot and flushed, and I suddenly feel like I’m the thing on fire. The thing that splinters and burns from the inside out.”

    This introspective moment reveals the protagonist’s internal struggle, equating physical heat with emotional pain and vulnerability. It highlights the theme of personal conflict and foreshadows the emotional intensity to come.

    3. “When he drops his arm around me, it feels like an anchor. Like maybe I’m not about to fly apart into little bits of ash.”

    Here, the comforting presence of Liam symbolizes stability and support amidst the protagonist’s inner chaos. This quote emphasizes the importance of connection and grounding in moments of distress.

    4. “On the dark back roads, the two beams of the headlights stretch out so far ahead of us. There are no streetlights on these roads, and sometimes there’s a mile between houses. The lights are like bright neon arrows, showing me the way to go. Anywhere but home, they beckon.”

    This passage metaphorically expresses the desire to escape and the uncertainty of the future. The headlights as “neon arrows” symbolize guidance and possibility, contrasting with the protagonist’s reluctance to face her current reality.

    5. “Just Leighton.”

    This succinct and powerful declaration marks a turning point where the protagonist sheds imposed identities and expectations. It encapsulates a moment of self-acceptance and authenticity, underscoring the chapter’s emotional climax.

    FAQs

    1. How does the imagery of the bonfire at the beginning of the chapter reflect Leighton’s internal emotional state?

    Answer:
    The bonfire is described as “well-enough contained in a pit” but with flames that “spit and lick” like “red and gold claws searching for something to catch on.” This vivid imagery symbolizes Leighton’s internal turmoil—though her emotions are superficially controlled, they feel wild and hungry beneath the surface. She even imagines the flames consuming an old house, which suggests a deep sense of destruction and loss tied to painful memories. The heat making her face “hot and flushed” and feeling “like the thing on fire” conveys how overwhelmed and vulnerable she feels emotionally, as if she is burning from the inside out. This metaphorical connection between the fire and her feelings sets the tone for her internal conflict throughout the chapter.

    2. What does Liam’s behavior and interaction with Leighton reveal about their relationship at this point in the story?

    Answer:
    Liam’s behavior shows attentiveness, care, and a desire to connect with Leighton on a more intimate level. He brushes her hair away from her eyes, offers physical comfort by putting his arm around her, and shows a focused gaze that makes them feel isolated from the crowd. Despite his friends’ rude comments, Liam apologizes and distances himself from their behavior, indicating respect for Leighton. When they drive away together, Liam is open to her suggestions and sensitive to her feelings, as seen when he asks if she wants to go home and later if what they are doing is okay. His actions suggest a budding romantic connection based on mutual respect and emotional safety, contrasting with the hostile social environment they just left.

    3. How does the chapter portray the social dynamics and peer interactions surrounding Leighton and Liam, and what impact does this have on Leighton?

    Answer:
    The social dynamics are tense and somewhat hostile, particularly from Liam’s friends who mock and make inappropriate comments toward Leighton. Alexis’s mocking smile and Brody’s dismissive remarks, along with Nick’s crude insinuation, create an uncomfortable atmosphere that isolates Leighton despite being in a group setting. This hostility underscores Leighton’s feelings of vulnerability and alienation, especially as she tries to maintain composure under their taunts. The negative peer interactions highlight the challenges Leighton faces in navigating social acceptance and reinforce her desire to escape to a safer, more private space with Liam. This tension also emphasizes the contrast between the superficial cruelty of the group and the genuine connection developing between the two main characters.

    4. Analyze the significance of the setting transition from the bonfire to the parked car in the dark woods. How does this shift influence the tone and themes of the chapter?

    Answer:
    The shift from the lively, fiery bonfire to the quiet, dark woods creates a significant change in tone—from chaotic and tense to intimate and vulnerable. The bonfire scene is charged with external conflict and social pressure, while the secluded car in the woods symbolizes a safe haven away from judgment and noise. This setting allows Leighton and Liam to explore their feelings more openly, marking a turning point in their relationship. The darkness enveloping them acts as a “blanket,” muffling distractions and fostering a sense of closeness and trust. Thematically, this transition underscores themes of escape, emotional honesty, and the contrast between public personas and private selves. It highlights Leighton’s need to find refuge from her internal and external struggles.

    5. Considering Leighton’s internal hesitation during the intimate moment with Liam, what does this reveal about her character development and the conflicts she is experiencing?

    Answer:
    Leighton’s hesitation reveals a complex interplay between her desire for connection and her fear of vulnerability. Internally, she hears a voice warning “Too fast,” indicating her awareness of potential emotional risks. However, she silences this caution with “Shut up,” showing her willingness to embrace the moment despite uncertainty. This tension highlights her struggle between maintaining control (as suggested by her “perfectionist” and “Ice Queen” labels) and allowing herself to be seen and accepted as just “Leighton.” Her mixed feelings of safety and terror reveal her growth as she begins to prioritize authentic emotional experience over rigid self-protection. This moment of vulnerability is crucial for her character development, marking a step toward deeper intimacy and self-acceptance.

    Note