Cover of If These Wings Could Fly
    FantasyFictionLiterary FictionYoung Adult

    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.

    The chap­ter opens with the pro­tag­o­nist return­ing home, ini­tial­ly joy­ful but quick­ly over­whelmed by a dis­turb­ing scene in the kitchen: shat­tered dish­es, burnt food, and a boil­ing pot left unat­tend­ed. This sud­den shift from warmth to dread sets a tense atmos­phere. The silence in the house is unset­tling, and the protagonist’s con­cern grows as they dis­cov­er Camp­bell and Juniper hud­dled togeth­er, fright­ened and seek­ing com­fort. The ten­sion hints at a recent domes­tic con­flict, marked by anger and fear, and the pro­tag­o­nist grap­ples with feel­ings of guilt for not being present when the tur­moil began.

    As the pro­tag­o­nist tries to calm the chil­dren, they piece togeth­er the cause of the chaos: a burnt meal that esca­lat­ed into a shout­ing match and phys­i­cal destruc­tion. The fam­i­ly dynam­ic is strained, with an unspo­ken rule that no one can be angri­er than a par­tic­u­lar male fig­ure, whose volatile behav­ior dom­i­nates the house­hold. The protagonist’s instinct is to check on their moth­er, but the children’s fear and urgent pleas make them hes­i­tate. Instead, they focus on com­fort­ing the chil­dren, engag­ing them in con­ver­sa­tion to dis­tract from the under­ly­ing ten­sion, while remain­ing acute­ly aware of the dan­ger lurk­ing upstairs.

    The chap­ter explores themes of fear, help­less­ness, and the com­plex­i­ty of fam­i­ly rela­tion­ships under stress. The protagonist’s inter­nal strug­gle is pal­pa­ble, torn between the need to pro­tect their fam­i­ly and the par­a­lyz­ing fear of con­fronting the source of con­flict direct­ly. Moments of ten­der­ness, such as Juniper’s curios­i­ty about Amelia Earhart and the protagonist’s gen­tle respons­es, con­trast sharply with the omi­nous pres­ence of the father’s aggres­sion. This jux­ta­po­si­tion high­lights the frag­ile safe­ty with­in the home and the resilience required to endure emo­tion­al tur­moil.

    The cli­max arrives as the par­ents descend the stairs, bring­ing a mix of relief and renewed ten­sion. The father’s smug demeanor and the mother’s exhaus­tion under­score the ongo­ing dys­func­tion. The father’s loud music and sharp out­burst about the burnt food reignite con­flict, but Campbell’s com­posed response to clean up sig­nals a small act of defi­ance and strength. The protagonist’s restraint, repeat­ing “Don’t make it worse,” reveals their des­per­ate attempt to main­tain peace amid chaos. The chap­ter clos­es on this uneasy bal­ance, empha­siz­ing the pre­car­i­ous­ness of the family’s sit­u­a­tion and the qui­et courage of its mem­bers.

    FAQs

    • 1. What initial signs indicate that something is wrong when the narrator arrives home, and how do these signs contribute to the mood of the chapter?

      Answer:
      Upon arriving home, the narrator notices a shattered yellow ceramic dish in the sink and on the floor, burnt chicken smell, a blackened pan in the sink, and a pot of boiling water left unattended on the stove. These sensory details immediately create a tense and foreboding atmosphere. The sudden silence after the initial chaos, combined with the narrator’s dread and the whimpering sounds from Campbell and Juniper, heighten the sense of danger and emotional turmoil within the household. This mood sets the stage for the unfolding family conflict and reveals the underlying dysfunction and fear present in the home.

      2. How does the narrator’s interaction with Campbell and Juniper reveal the family dynamics and the emotional state of the children?

      Answer:
      The narrator finds Campbell and Juniper huddled together, scared and seeking comfort, which indicates their vulnerability and need for support. Campbell’s warning not to go upstairs and the children’s admission that “we needed you” reflect a pattern of fear and instability caused by another family member’s anger. Juniper’s childlike attempt to share something positive from school contrasts sharply with the tense environment, highlighting the children’s coping mechanisms. Campbell’s cold, distant response when asked about school further reveals her emotional distress. Together, these interactions underscore the children’s reliance on the narrator for safety and emotional grounding amid chaos.

      3. Analyze the significance of the conversation about Amelia Earhart in the context of the chapter’s themes. Why might the narrator and Juniper focus on her story?

      Answer:
      Juniper’s mention of learning about Amelia Earhart, a pioneering and fearless female aviator, introduces a symbol of courage and breaking boundaries amidst a threatening home environment. The question “Do you think Amelia was fearless?” implicitly contrasts the bravery required to face the world with the fear dominating their household. For the narrator and Juniper, Amelia’s story may serve as an aspirational metaphor for overcoming fear and adversity. It highlights a yearning for strength and escape from their current reality, reinforcing themes of resilience, hope, and the desire for empowerment in the face of domestic turmoil.

      4. What does the narrator’s internal conflict about checking on her mother upstairs reveal about her character and the situation she is in?

      Answer:
      The narrator’s hesitation and fear about going upstairs to check on her mother reveal her acute awareness of the danger present in the household. She weighs the risk of confronting the potentially violent family member, whose anger has already manifested in destructive behavior. This internal conflict shows her protective instincts toward her mother and siblings but also her recognition of her own vulnerability and the limits of her control. It highlights the complexity of living in an environment where safety is uncertain and the emotional toll of navigating fear, responsibility, and the need to maintain calm.

      5. How does the chapter portray the role of music and noise in the family’s interactions, and what might this symbolize about the family’s dynamics?

      Answer:
      The loud music, specifically the blasting of “Welcome to the Jungle” at maximum volume, serves as both a literal and symbolic element in the chapter. It drowns out conversation and creates a chaotic, aggressive atmosphere that mirrors the emotional turmoil and conflict within the family. The music’s volume and the crashing noises emphasize the volatility and lack of peace in the household. It also acts as a tool for the angry family member to assert control and intimidate others. Symbolically, this cacophony represents the breakdown of communication and the overwhelming presence of hostility in the family’s dynamics.

    Quotes

    • 1. “That’s when I see the sink, and the warmth on my lips is overtaken by dread, cold like a bucket of ice water dumped on me.”

      This opening line powerfully captures the sudden shift from a moment of happiness to an overwhelming sense of fear and dread, setting the emotional tone for the chapter and highlighting the protagonist’s internal conflict.

      2. “He was mad. And she got mad. So he got madder. That seems to be an unspoken rule in our house: no one is allowed to be madder than him.”

      This quote reveals the toxic dynamics of anger and control within the household, exposing an important theme of emotional hierarchy and intimidation that drives much of the chapter’s tension.

      3. “It’s awful and scary when he is screaming. But it is always worse when things are quiet.”

      Here, the author conveys the chilling atmosphere of fear and uncertainty, emphasizing how silence can be even more threatening than overt violence—an insight into the psychological impact of domestic turmoil.

      4. “I count to three in my head, my jaw shut as though it were wired that way. Don’t make it worse. Don’t make it worse. I need these words tattooed on my arm so I always remember.”

      This moment shows the protagonist’s desperate effort to maintain control and protect the fragile peace, highlighting the internal struggle and the burden of managing volatile family dynamics.

      5. “For some reason, Cam’s enthusiasm for cleaning up burnt food makes me furious. Mom’s casual of course makes me want to scream.”

      This quote captures the protagonist’s complex emotions—anger, frustration, and helplessness—in response to the family’s dysfunctional coping mechanisms, underscoring the chapter’s exploration of emotional repression and unspoken pain.

    Quotes

    1. “That’s when I see the sink, and the warmth on my lips is overtaken by dread, cold like a bucket of ice water dumped on me.”

    This opening line powerfully captures the sudden shift from a moment of happiness to an overwhelming sense of fear and dread, setting the emotional tone for the chapter and highlighting the protagonist’s internal conflict.

    2. “He was mad. And she got mad. So he got madder. That seems to be an unspoken rule in our house: no one is allowed to be madder than him.”

    This quote reveals the toxic dynamics of anger and control within the household, exposing an important theme of emotional hierarchy and intimidation that drives much of the chapter’s tension.

    3. “It’s awful and scary when he is screaming. But it is always worse when things are quiet.”

    Here, the author conveys the chilling atmosphere of fear and uncertainty, emphasizing how silence can be even more threatening than overt violence—an insight into the psychological impact of domestic turmoil.

    4. “I count to three in my head, my jaw shut as though it were wired that way. Don’t make it worse. Don’t make it worse. I need these words tattooed on my arm so I always remember.”

    This moment shows the protagonist’s desperate effort to maintain control and protect the fragile peace, highlighting the internal struggle and the burden of managing volatile family dynamics.

    5. “For some reason, Cam’s enthusiasm for cleaning up burnt food makes me furious. Mom’s casual of course makes me want to scream.”

    This quote captures the protagonist’s complex emotions—anger, frustration, and helplessness—in response to the family’s dysfunctional coping mechanisms, underscoring the chapter’s exploration of emotional repression and unspoken pain.

    FAQs

    1. What initial signs indicate that something is wrong when the narrator arrives home, and how do these signs contribute to the mood of the chapter?

    Answer:
    Upon arriving home, the narrator notices a shattered yellow ceramic dish in the sink and on the floor, burnt chicken smell, a blackened pan in the sink, and a pot of boiling water left unattended on the stove. These sensory details immediately create a tense and foreboding atmosphere. The sudden silence after the initial chaos, combined with the narrator’s dread and the whimpering sounds from Campbell and Juniper, heighten the sense of danger and emotional turmoil within the household. This mood sets the stage for the unfolding family conflict and reveals the underlying dysfunction and fear present in the home.

    2. How does the narrator’s interaction with Campbell and Juniper reveal the family dynamics and the emotional state of the children?

    Answer:
    The narrator finds Campbell and Juniper huddled together, scared and seeking comfort, which indicates their vulnerability and need for support. Campbell’s warning not to go upstairs and the children’s admission that “we needed you” reflect a pattern of fear and instability caused by another family member’s anger. Juniper’s childlike attempt to share something positive from school contrasts sharply with the tense environment, highlighting the children’s coping mechanisms. Campbell’s cold, distant response when asked about school further reveals her emotional distress. Together, these interactions underscore the children’s reliance on the narrator for safety and emotional grounding amid chaos.

    3. Analyze the significance of the conversation about Amelia Earhart in the context of the chapter’s themes. Why might the narrator and Juniper focus on her story?

    Answer:
    Juniper’s mention of learning about Amelia Earhart, a pioneering and fearless female aviator, introduces a symbol of courage and breaking boundaries amidst a threatening home environment. The question “Do you think Amelia was fearless?” implicitly contrasts the bravery required to face the world with the fear dominating their household. For the narrator and Juniper, Amelia’s story may serve as an aspirational metaphor for overcoming fear and adversity. It highlights a yearning for strength and escape from their current reality, reinforcing themes of resilience, hope, and the desire for empowerment in the face of domestic turmoil.

    4. What does the narrator’s internal conflict about checking on her mother upstairs reveal about her character and the situation she is in?

    Answer:
    The narrator’s hesitation and fear about going upstairs to check on her mother reveal her acute awareness of the danger present in the household. She weighs the risk of confronting the potentially violent family member, whose anger has already manifested in destructive behavior. This internal conflict shows her protective instincts toward her mother and siblings but also her recognition of her own vulnerability and the limits of her control. It highlights the complexity of living in an environment where safety is uncertain and the emotional toll of navigating fear, responsibility, and the need to maintain calm.

    5. How does the chapter portray the role of music and noise in the family’s interactions, and what might this symbolize about the family’s dynamics?

    Answer:
    The loud music, specifically the blasting of “Welcome to the Jungle” at maximum volume, serves as both a literal and symbolic element in the chapter. It drowns out conversation and creates a chaotic, aggressive atmosphere that mirrors the emotional turmoil and conflict within the family. The music’s volume and the crashing noises emphasize the volatility and lack of peace in the household. It also acts as a tool for the angry family member to assert control and intimidate others. Symbolically, this cacophony represents the breakdown of communication and the overwhelming presence of hostility in the family’s dynamics.

    Note