Cover of If These Wings Could Fly
    FantasyFictionLiterary FictionYoung Adult

    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.

    Chap­ter Twen­ty-Five explores the frag­ile, com­plex nature of a fam­i­ly home marked by cycles of dam­age and repair, both phys­i­cal and emo­tion­al. The nar­ra­tor reflects on a child­hood mem­o­ry when a vio­lent out­burst from their father shat­tered the kitchen envi­ron­ment, yet the bro­ken cab­i­net door appeared mys­te­ri­ous­ly whole the next day. This para­dox sym­bol­izes the fam­i­ly’s expe­ri­ence of trau­ma and healing—though the house and its inhab­i­tants endure pain, they also exhib­it resilience, as if the frac­tures can some­how be mend­ed or erased over time.

    The chap­ter reveals the recur­ring pat­tern of the father’s anger erupt­ing unpre­dictably, leav­ing the fam­i­ly in fear and con­fu­sion. Despite his apolo­gies and promis­es to change, the nar­ra­tor under­stands that these vio­lent episodes are inevitable. The father’s love, though gen­uine, is entan­gled with his destruc­tive behav­ior, cre­at­ing a painful dynam­ic that binds the fam­i­ly togeth­er in a cycle of hope and dis­ap­point­ment. The nar­ra­tor and their sib­ling, Camp­bell, learn to cope by silent­ly observ­ing the after­math and inter­nal­iz­ing the con­tra­dic­tions of their home life.

    This nar­ra­tive cap­tures the bewil­der­ing coex­is­tence of love and harm, high­light­ing how the chil­dren rec­on­cile with the bro­ken­ness around them. The house, much like their fam­i­ly, is described as “unbro­ken the way a healed bone is,” imply­ing that while scars remain, there is a form of whole­ness in sur­vival. The children’s per­cep­tion fluc­tu­ates between denial and accep­tance, as they wit­ness the phys­i­cal repairs to their home along­side the emo­tion­al frac­tures that per­sist beneath the sur­face.

    Ulti­mate­ly, the chap­ter delves into themes of resilience, mem­o­ry, and the com­plex­i­ty of famil­ial love in the face of dys­func­tion. It por­trays how trau­ma can dis­tort real­i­ty and chal­lenge one’s under­stand­ing of safe­ty and trust, yet also how indi­vid­u­als adapt by com­part­men­tal­iz­ing pain. The story’s qui­et obser­va­tions and sub­tle mag­ic sug­gest a yearn­ing for sta­bil­i­ty amid chaos, while acknowl­edg­ing that some wounds leave last­ing marks that are nev­er ful­ly erased.

    FAQs

    • 1. How does the metaphor of the “house” relate to the family dynamics described in the chapter?

      Answer:
      The “house” in the chapter symbolizes the family unit and its emotional state. It is described as “unbroken the way a healed bone is,” indicating that although the family has endured trauma and damage—much like a bone that was once broken—they have managed to recover and appear whole again. However, the metaphor also suggests fragility beneath the surface, as the family’s stability is not perfect or permanent. This reflects the cycle of abuse and repair within the family: episodes of violence cause harm (the bone breaking), but there is an attempt to restore normalcy (the bone healing). The house’s ability to “repair the things he breaks” without lasting visible damage parallels how the family suppresses and hides the emotional and physical fractures caused by the father’s anger.

      2. What role does the memory of the cabinet door play in the narrator’s understanding of their family situation?

      Answer:
      The cabinet door incident serves as a powerful symbol of denial and the complexity of the narrator’s perception of their family life. When the father, in a fit of rage, slams the cabinet door and it appears to break but is somehow intact the next day, the narrator initially doubts their own eyes, assuming the noise was just the door hitting the wall. This moment illustrates how the children unconsciously erase or “magically” repair traumatic events to cope with the violence around them. It reflects the psychological defense mechanisms the narrator and Campbell use to maintain a sense of safety and normalcy, even when reality is painful and confusing. The memory resurfaces later as the abuse becomes more frequent, emphasizing the long-lasting impact of trauma and the difficulty in fully acknowledging it.

      3. Analyze how the author uses the father’s contradictory behavior to deepen the reader’s understanding of domestic abuse.

      Answer:
      The father’s contradictory behavior—his violent outbursts followed by apologies and expressions of love—adds complexity to the portrayal of domestic abuse. The chapter highlights that despite his love for the family, it is “never been enough to make him stop,” and, paradoxically, this love sometimes intensifies the violence. This duality captures the confusing and painful reality for victims who often experience a mix of fear, hope, and attachment. The father’s “splintering” into someone “unrecognizable” when angry illustrates how abuse can fracture a person’s identity and relationships. This nuanced depiction encourages readers to move beyond simplistic notions of abusers as purely evil and victims as easily able to leave, instead recognizing the emotional entanglement and cycles of abuse that complicate escape and healing.

      4. What coping mechanisms do the narrator and Campbell develop in response to their father’s violent episodes, and what does this reveal about their resilience?

      Answer:
      The narrator and Campbell cope with their father’s violent episodes by observing silently and mentally compartmentalizing the strangeness—such as the repaired walls and broken frames—into a “soft corner” of their minds where it can be ignored. This coping strategy of internalizing and distancing themselves from traumatic events reveals a form of resilience born out of necessity. It shows their ability to adapt psychologically to an unstable environment by normalizing the chaos and preserving their emotional survival. This quiet endurance, however, also underscores the heavy burden placed on children living with abuse, as they learn to suppress their feelings and confusion to maintain some semblance of safety and stability.

      5. How might the themes presented in this chapter be relevant for understanding real-world experiences of children living in abusive households?

      Answer:
      The themes of denial, cyclical violence, emotional complexity, and resilience in this chapter mirror many real-world experiences of children in abusive households. Children often struggle to reconcile love and fear, witnessing the same caregiver as both protector and threat. The metaphor of the “house” as both broken and healed reflects how families maintain outward appearances despite underlying trauma. The chapter also highlights how children may develop coping mechanisms such as dissociation or minimizing events to survive emotionally. Recognizing these themes can inform educators, counselors, and social workers about the nuanced realities of abuse, emphasizing the importance of sensitive support that acknowledges the child’s conflicting emotions and the difficulty in breaking free from abusive cycles.

    Quotes

    • 1. “THIS HOUSE IS UNBROKEN THE WAY a healed bone is.”

      This opening line metaphorically introduces the chapter’s central theme of damage and repair, suggesting that while the house—and by extension the family—has been broken, it has also undergone a process of healing, albeit imperfect and marked by past trauma.

      2. “Something was bent at an unnatural angle, pushed too far, until it snapped, or shattered. But then it got better again.”

      This quote captures the cyclical nature of harm and recovery within the family dynamic, emphasizing that while damage occurs, there is also an attempt to restore or mend what was broken, setting the tone for the chapter’s exploration of resilience amid dysfunction.

      3. “I grabbed Cammy and we ran to my room, hiding in the closet… But the cabinet door wasn’t broken. I tried to explain to Mom, in confused, urgent whispers, that the wood had cracked right at the hinges. But it was intact, like it had never broken… Cammy leaned in close and whispered, ‘It was magic.’”

      This passage poignantly illustrates the child’s perspective on trauma and the surreal denial or erasure of visible damage, symbolized by the seemingly “unbroken” cabinet door, highlighting the confusion and coping mechanisms of children living with domestic violence.

      4. “I know now that the last is never true. It will happen again. And he probably does love us, but it’s never been enough to make him stop. Instead, it makes it worse—his love for us. And ours for him. It makes it impossible to leave.”

      This powerful reflection reveals the complex emotional entanglement in abusive family relationships, underscoring the painful reality that love does not guarantee safety or change, and that this paradox traps victims in cycles of abuse and hope.

      5. “The house doesn’t make sense, but neither does the way he splinters into something unrecognizable when he’s mad. It’s incredible what you learn to accept when so few things make sense, and Campbell and I learned to observe it in silence. To note the patched walls and fixed frames, and then fold that strangeness into a soft corner of our minds, where it could be ignored.”

      Concluding the chapter, this quote encapsulates the normalization of dysfunction and the emotional survival tactics developed by the children, emphasizing their silent endurance and the mental compartmentalization of trauma amidst an environment of ongoing instability.

    Quotes

    1. “THIS HOUSE IS UNBROKEN THE WAY a healed bone is.”

    This opening line metaphorically introduces the chapter’s central theme of damage and repair, suggesting that while the house—and by extension the family—has been broken, it has also undergone a process of healing, albeit imperfect and marked by past trauma.

    2. “Something was bent at an unnatural angle, pushed too far, until it snapped, or shattered. But then it got better again.”

    This quote captures the cyclical nature of harm and recovery within the family dynamic, emphasizing that while damage occurs, there is also an attempt to restore or mend what was broken, setting the tone for the chapter’s exploration of resilience amid dysfunction.

    3. “I grabbed Cammy and we ran to my room, hiding in the closet… But the cabinet door wasn’t broken. I tried to explain to Mom, in confused, urgent whispers, that the wood had cracked right at the hinges. But it was intact, like it had never broken… Cammy leaned in close and whispered, ‘It was magic.’”

    This passage poignantly illustrates the child’s perspective on trauma and the surreal denial or erasure of visible damage, symbolized by the seemingly “unbroken” cabinet door, highlighting the confusion and coping mechanisms of children living with domestic violence.

    4. “I know now that the last is never true. It will happen again. And he probably does love us, but it’s never been enough to make him stop. Instead, it makes it worse—his love for us. And ours for him. It makes it impossible to leave.”

    This powerful reflection reveals the complex emotional entanglement in abusive family relationships, underscoring the painful reality that love does not guarantee safety or change, and that this paradox traps victims in cycles of abuse and hope.

    5. “The house doesn’t make sense, but neither does the way he splinters into something unrecognizable when he’s mad. It’s incredible what you learn to accept when so few things make sense, and Campbell and I learned to observe it in silence. To note the patched walls and fixed frames, and then fold that strangeness into a soft corner of our minds, where it could be ignored.”

    Concluding the chapter, this quote encapsulates the normalization of dysfunction and the emotional survival tactics developed by the children, emphasizing their silent endurance and the mental compartmentalization of trauma amidst an environment of ongoing instability.

    FAQs

    1. How does the metaphor of the “house” relate to the family dynamics described in the chapter?

    Answer:
    The “house” in the chapter symbolizes the family unit and its emotional state. It is described as “unbroken the way a healed bone is,” indicating that although the family has endured trauma and damage—much like a bone that was once broken—they have managed to recover and appear whole again. However, the metaphor also suggests fragility beneath the surface, as the family’s stability is not perfect or permanent. This reflects the cycle of abuse and repair within the family: episodes of violence cause harm (the bone breaking), but there is an attempt to restore normalcy (the bone healing). The house’s ability to “repair the things he breaks” without lasting visible damage parallels how the family suppresses and hides the emotional and physical fractures caused by the father’s anger.

    2. What role does the memory of the cabinet door play in the narrator’s understanding of their family situation?

    Answer:
    The cabinet door incident serves as a powerful symbol of denial and the complexity of the narrator’s perception of their family life. When the father, in a fit of rage, slams the cabinet door and it appears to break but is somehow intact the next day, the narrator initially doubts their own eyes, assuming the noise was just the door hitting the wall. This moment illustrates how the children unconsciously erase or “magically” repair traumatic events to cope with the violence around them. It reflects the psychological defense mechanisms the narrator and Campbell use to maintain a sense of safety and normalcy, even when reality is painful and confusing. The memory resurfaces later as the abuse becomes more frequent, emphasizing the long-lasting impact of trauma and the difficulty in fully acknowledging it.

    3. Analyze how the author uses the father’s contradictory behavior to deepen the reader’s understanding of domestic abuse.

    Answer:
    The father’s contradictory behavior—his violent outbursts followed by apologies and expressions of love—adds complexity to the portrayal of domestic abuse. The chapter highlights that despite his love for the family, it is “never been enough to make him stop,” and, paradoxically, this love sometimes intensifies the violence. This duality captures the confusing and painful reality for victims who often experience a mix of fear, hope, and attachment. The father’s “splintering” into someone “unrecognizable” when angry illustrates how abuse can fracture a person’s identity and relationships. This nuanced depiction encourages readers to move beyond simplistic notions of abusers as purely evil and victims as easily able to leave, instead recognizing the emotional entanglement and cycles of abuse that complicate escape and healing.

    4. What coping mechanisms do the narrator and Campbell develop in response to their father’s violent episodes, and what does this reveal about their resilience?

    Answer:
    The narrator and Campbell cope with their father’s violent episodes by observing silently and mentally compartmentalizing the strangeness—such as the repaired walls and broken frames—into a “soft corner” of their minds where it can be ignored. This coping strategy of internalizing and distancing themselves from traumatic events reveals a form of resilience born out of necessity. It shows their ability to adapt psychologically to an unstable environment by normalizing the chaos and preserving their emotional survival. This quiet endurance, however, also underscores the heavy burden placed on children living with abuse, as they learn to suppress their feelings and confusion to maintain some semblance of safety and stability.

    5. How might the themes presented in this chapter be relevant for understanding real-world experiences of children living in abusive households?

    Answer:
    The themes of denial, cyclical violence, emotional complexity, and resilience in this chapter mirror many real-world experiences of children in abusive households. Children often struggle to reconcile love and fear, witnessing the same caregiver as both protector and threat. The metaphor of the “house” as both broken and healed reflects how families maintain outward appearances despite underlying trauma. The chapter also highlights how children may develop coping mechanisms such as dissociation or minimizing events to survive emotionally. Recognizing these themes can inform educators, counselors, and social workers about the nuanced realities of abuse, emphasizing the importance of sensitive support that acknowledges the child’s conflicting emotions and the difficulty in breaking free from abusive cycles.

    Note