If These Wings Could Fly
Chapter Thirty-Two
by McCauley, KyrieChapter Thirty-Two opens with a tense and unsettling scene where the narrator is abruptly awakened in the middle of the night by a man’s harsh and aggressive demands. The man’s anger centers on the family’s failure to complete household chores correctly, specifically the folding of towels, which escalates into an oppressive and intimidating atmosphere. The narrator’s protective instincts surface as they try to shield the younger girls from the confrontation, while also grappling with the emotional weight of the situation and the realization of the man’s volatile nature.
The man’s relentless and cruel insistence on perfection turns a simple chore into a moment of fear and humiliation. He criticizes the girls and the narrator, tearing towels from their hands and rejecting their efforts, culminating in a moment of explosive rage when he shouts a hateful insult and smashes a vase. This act shatters the fragile calm, physically and emotionally, and leaves the household in disarray. Despite the abuse, the narrator struggles to maintain composure, suppressing tears and pain while enduring the harsh lesson he imposes about folding towels “correctly.”
After the man leaves, the narrator painstakingly folds the towels to his demanding specifications, taking care to avoid any mistakes despite the exhaustion and emotional strain. The aftermath of the broken glass requires careful cleanup, symbolizing the lingering damage caused by the man’s outburst. The narrator moves through the house, turning off lights and restoring order, yet the emptiness of the towel shelves and the disarray on the floor reflect the deeper disorder within the family’s life. The physical chores become a metaphor for the struggle to maintain stability amid chaos.
The chapter closes with the narrator lying awake, contemplating the future and the possibility of escape through academic success. The looming Honors Calculus exam represents a potential path away from the oppressive environment, yet the thought of leaving the younger siblings behind weighs heavily. The narrator’s attempt to focus on studying is undermined by fatigue and emotional turmoil, highlighting the ongoing conflict between hope for a better life and the harsh reality of the present. This internal struggle underscores the chapter’s themes of resilience, fear, and the desire for freedom.
FAQs
1. How does the chapter illustrate the family dynamics and atmosphere during the late-night towel folding incident?
Answer:
The chapter vividly portrays a tense and oppressive family atmosphere, dominated by a stern, angry male figure who enforces strict discipline through intimidation and verbal abuse. The late-night incident begins with harsh waking commands and escalates into yelling and physical destruction (throwing a vase). The mother’s silent apology and the girls’ frightened compliance highlight a household filled with fear and submission. The narrator’s internal struggle—biting her tongue to avoid tears and carefully folding towels to exacting standards—emphasizes the emotional toll and the pervasive control exerted by this man. The late hour and the disruption of sleep further underscore the dysfunction and stress within the family.2. What does the narrator’s reaction to the towel folding task reveal about her character and coping mechanisms?
Answer:
The narrator’s reaction reveals resilience and a strong desire to maintain control over her emotions despite the abusive environment. She refuses to cry, biting her tongue so hard she tastes blood and digging her nails into her palms to suppress pain. This self-discipline shows her determination not to give her abuser the satisfaction of seeing her hurt. Her meticulous folding of the towels—double-checking each crease and lining up corners perfectly—demonstrates her attempt to meet impossible standards and gain some measure of approval or peace. The narrator’s internal dialogue and actions reveal both her vulnerability and her strength in enduring and navigating the harsh reality she faces.3. Analyze the symbolic significance of the towels and the act of folding them within the chapter.
Answer:
The towels and the folding task symbolize control, order, and the impossible demands placed on the family, particularly the narrator. Towels, typically mundane household items, become a source of conflict, representing the abuser’s need for perfection and dominance. The requirement to fold them “in thirds lengthwise and then in quarters” to fit the towel holder reflects an obsession with rigid order and conformity. The narrator’s repeated folding of towels—even after cleaning up broken glass—symbolizes her struggle to impose order on chaos and maintain stability in a dysfunctional home. The towels also metaphorically represent the emotional burden the family carries: they must constantly “fold” themselves to fit the expectations of the abuser, often at great personal cost.4. Considering the narrator’s final reflections on studying for her calculus exam and her thoughts about the future, what themes does this chapter suggest about escape and hope?
Answer:
The narrator’s contemplation of her Honors Calculus exam and her desire to “focus on school” as a means to “get into college” and “move far, far away” introduces themes of escape and hope amidst hardship. School represents a potential pathway to freedom and a better life, contrasting sharply with the oppressive home environment. However, her hesitation and guilt about leaving her sisters behind highlight the complexity of escape—it is not simply physical but also emotional and moral. The chapter suggests that hope exists but is fraught with difficult choices and lingering responsibilities. This nuanced portrayal underscores the tension between longing for self-preservation and the bonds of family loyalty.5. How does the author use imagery and tone to convey the emotional intensity of the chapter?
Answer:
The author employs stark, vivid imagery and a tense, restrained tone to convey the chapter’s emotional intensity. The opening dream of “lightning splitting the tree” evokes sudden violence and disruption, mirroring the harsh awakening. The detailed description of shattered glass and the precise towel folding creates a sensory experience that heightens the tension. The narrator’s internal sensations—biting her tongue, the taste of blood, nails digging into palms—intensify the emotional pain without overt displays of crying. The tone is urgent and raw, underscoring fear, anger, and exhaustion. This combination of imagery and tone immerses the reader in the narrator’s fraught psychological state and the oppressive atmosphere of the household.
Quotes
1. “I DREAM OF LIGHTNING SPLITTING THE tree in our front yard wide open, and I wake up to the crack of my door hitting the wall.”
This opening line sets a powerful and vivid tone for the chapter, symbolizing the sudden rupture and tension within the household. It introduces the emotional volatility that permeates the narrative.
2. “‘Get up. Get the fuck up. We have to go through this every fucking time. So I’m going to show you how to do it right.’”
This quote captures the harsh, oppressive dynamic imposed by the father figure, emphasizing the cycle of fear and control that defines the family’s nighttime ordeal. It reflects the chapter’s exploration of authority and abuse.
3. “‘Stupid cunt.’”
This brief but shocking insult, delivered without screaming yet heavy with hatred, marks a critical turning point in the chapter. It reveals the deep-seated cruelty in the abuser’s behavior and the emotional pain inflicted on the narrator.
4. “I refuse to cry. I fold twelve towels, by threes and then fours, double-checking every crease and carefully lining up corners, all the time refusing to cry.”
This moment reveals the narrator’s resilience and determination to maintain control over her emotions despite the abuse. It highlights the theme of endurance and the struggle to preserve dignity under duress.
5. “If I’m not going to sleep, I should study for my calc exam. I sink into my desk chair and turn on my calculator. This is what I need to do: focus on school. Get into college. Move far, far away and… then what?”
This final reflection encapsulates the narrator’s hope and desperation—school represents a path to escape, yet also raises the painful question of what happens to the family left behind. It poignantly captures the tension between survival, ambition, and familial bonds.