If These Wings Could Fly
Chapter Sixty-Three
by McCauley, KyrieIn the early hours of Christmas Day, the narrator is abruptly awakened by the unsettling noise of Axl Rose’s music and raised voices downstairs. She finds her younger sisters frightened and huddled together, prompting her to lead them to her room for safety. Attempting to secure the door against their volatile father, she manages to fix the lock partially, offering a fragile sense of protection. Despite their efforts, the father forcefully breaks through the door, his presence looming with anger and unpredictability, setting the stage for a tense confrontation within the household.
The father’s fury centers on a newspaper article featuring the narrator’s winning essay in the Auburn Gazette, a piece that exposes the town’s complicity in its own ugliness. Although anonymous, the essay is unmistakably hers, and the father’s reaction is one of rage and fear. He worries the essay will ruin their family’s construction business and bring unwanted attention, revealing the deep fractures within the family and the community. The narrator, however, feels a quiet defiance, hoping the truth will be acknowledged rather than hidden.
As tensions escalate, the father’s destructive behavior intensifies—he slams cabinets, turns off the heat, and opens windows, creating a chaotic and cold atmosphere. The mother attempts to defuse the situation, urging calm and retreat, but the father’s dark mood grows more menacing. A violent altercation ensues when he assaults the mother, prompting the narrator and her siblings to intervene. The physical struggle leaves the narrator injured and terrified, underscoring the perilous and volatile nature of their family life.
The chapter closes with the narrator shielding her sisters and mother, fearing the presence of a gun nearby and the potential for irreversible tragedy. The tension culminates with a symbolic moment: a crow’s sudden flight outside the window, representing both the darkness enveloping their lives and a glimmer of elusive freedom. The narrative captures the raw fear, unresolved conflict, and fragile hope that define this critical moment in the family’s story.
FAQs
1. What events lead to the protagonist locking the door to her room, and what does this reveal about the household dynamics?
Answer:
The protagonist attempts to lock her door because of escalating tension and conflict caused by a family member—likely her father—who is angry and unstable. He has been losing his cell phone repeatedly, which triggers his rage. The protagonist wants to protect herself and her sisters from his outbursts, as evidenced by the girls hiding behind pillows and her effort to secure the door. This situation reveals a household marked by fear, instability, and emotional volatility, where the children feel unsafe and must take measures to shield themselves from violence or intimidation.2. How does the publication of the protagonist’s essay in the Auburn Gazette serve as a turning point in this chapter?
Answer:
The essay’s publication acts as a catalyst for confrontation and further tension. Although the essay is anonymous, the father quickly realizes the protagonist wrote it, and this knowledge triggers his anger and fear of social and financial repercussions—specifically, damage to the family business. The essay exposes the town’s complicity in its problems, framing it as a call to action rather than an accusation. This moment shifts the narrative from internal family conflict to the external consequences of speaking truth to power, highlighting the risks the protagonist takes by voicing her perspective publicly.3. Analyze the symbolism of the broken door and the crow in the context of the chapter. What do these symbols contribute to the overall mood and themes?
Answer:
The broken door symbolizes the fragile barrier between safety and danger within the family. Its destruction marks the collapse of the protagonist’s protective boundaries and the intrusion of violence into her personal space. The crow, often associated with ominous signs or death, flying away at the chapter’s close, symbolizes both the threat looming over the family and the protagonist’s awareness of this danger. Together, these symbols underscore themes of vulnerability, the struggle for safety, and the presence of looming darkness or change. They contribute to a tense, unsettling mood that permeates the chapter.4. Considering the protagonist’s reflection on the essay as a “love letter” rather than an accusation, how does this perspective influence the reader’s understanding of her motivations?
Answer:
Viewing the essay as a “love letter” reframes the protagonist’s motivations from one of rebellion or anger to one of hope and care. She writes not to condemn but to call attention to what is worth saving—the family and the community. This perspective deepens the reader’s empathy for her, showing her desire to heal and improve her environment despite the risks involved. It also highlights her maturity and nuanced understanding of the complex social dynamics she is confronting, emphasizing her courage and commitment to positive change.5. What role does the mother play during the escalating conflict, and how does her response affect the family dynamic in this chapter?
Answer:
The mother acts as a calming, protective presence amid the chaos. She attempts to de-escalate the situation by telling the family to go to bed and physically shielding the protagonist and her siblings. Her confrontation with the father also shows her resilience and refusal to be intimidated (“Go to hell,” she says). However, her inability to completely control the situation—evident when the father attacks her—reflects the limits of her power within the family dynamic. Her role underscores the tension between protection and vulnerability within the household and highlights the precariousness of their safety.
Quotes
1. “It is not the crows that make Auburn ugly. It’s the complicity. Anyone who has looked the other way.”
This quote captures the central theme of the chapter, highlighting that the true problem in the town is not external nuisances but the collective silence and acceptance of wrongdoing. It represents a key insight into the social dynamics the narrator is confronting.
2. “This essay isn’t an accusation, though. It’s a love letter. For Mom. Campbell and Juniper. This is worth saving. We can do this together, if we call it by its name. If we say, Enough.”
Here, the narrator reveals the purpose behind the risky essay—transforming pain and struggle into a call for change and hope. This passage is pivotal as it reflects the narrator’s courage and determination to confront the family and community’s challenges.
3. “His eyes are dark. They scare me. It’s like he’s not even in there.”
This short but powerful description conveys the terrifying emotional and psychological state of the father figure, underlining the threat and volatility within the family. It marks a crucial turning point in the chapter’s tension and conflict.
4. “It’s a noise I’ve never made before in my life, and I’m on him like a wild thing, scratching anything I can reach.”
This moment of fierce defense encapsulates the narrator’s protective instinct and the intensity of the family’s crisis. It is memorable for its raw emotion and symbolizes the breaking point of endurance and the fight for survival.
5. “Tap. Tap. Tap. A cracking noise from the other side of my room, at the window, and when I get to it, there’s the flash of feathers in the dark as a crow flies away.”
The closing image of the crow taking flight serves as a metaphor for freedom, escape, or change amid the chaos. It provides a haunting and symbolic conclusion to the chapter’s turbulent events.
Quotes
1. “It is not the crows that make Auburn ugly. It’s the complicity. Anyone who has looked the other way.”
This quote captures the central theme of the chapter, highlighting that the true problem in the town is not external nuisances but the collective silence and acceptance of wrongdoing. It represents a key insight into the social dynamics the narrator is confronting.
2. “This essay isn’t an accusation, though. It’s a love letter. For Mom. Campbell and Juniper. This is worth saving. We can do this together, if we call it by its name. If we say, Enough.”
Here, the narrator reveals the purpose behind the risky essay
— transforming pain and struggle into a call for change and hope. This passage is pivotal as it reflects the narrator’s courage and determination to confront the family and community’s challenges.3. “His eyes are dark. They scare me. It’s like he’s not even in there.”
This short but powerful description conveys the terrifying emotional and psychological state of the father figure, underlining the threat and volatility within the family. It marks a crucial turning point in the chapter’s tension and conflict.
4. “It’s a noise I’ve never made before in my life, and I’m on him like a wild thing, scratching anything I can reach.”
This moment of fierce defense encapsulates the narrator’s protective instinct and the intensity of the family’s crisis. It is memorable for its raw emotion and symbolizes the breaking point of endurance and the fight for survival.
5. “Tap. Tap. Tap. A cracking noise from the other side of my room, at the window, and when I get to it, there’s the flash of feathers in the dark as a crow flies away.”
The closing image of the crow taking flight serves as a metaphor for freedom, escape, or change amid the chaos. It provides a haunting and symbolic conclusion to the chapter’s turbulent events.
FAQs
1. What events lead to the protagonist locking the door to her room, and what does this reveal about the household dynamics?
Answer:
The protagonist attempts to lock her door because of escalating tension and conflict caused by a family member—likely her father—who is angry and unstable. He has been losing his cell phone repeatedly, which triggers his rage. The protagonist wants to protect herself and her sisters from his outbursts, as evidenced by the girls hiding behind pillows and her effort to secure the door. This situation reveals a household marked by fear, instability, and emotional volatility, where the children feel unsafe and must take measures to shield themselves from violence or intimidation.
2. How does the publication of the protagonist’s essay in the Auburn Gazette serve as a turning point in this chapter?
Answer:
The essay’s publication acts as a catalyst for confrontation and further tension. Although the essay is anonymous, the father quickly realizes the protagonist wrote it, and this knowledge triggers his anger and fear of social and financial repercussions—specifically, damage to the family business. The essay exposes the town’s complicity in its problems, framing it as a call to action rather than an accusation. This moment shifts the narrative from internal family conflict to the external consequences of speaking truth to power, highlighting the risks the protagonist takes by voicing her perspective publicly.
3. Analyze the symbolism of the broken door and the crow in the context of the chapter. What do these symbols contribute to the overall mood and themes?
Answer:
The broken door symbolizes the fragile barrier between safety and danger within the family. Its destruction marks the collapse of the protagonist’s protective boundaries and the intrusion of violence into her personal space. The crow, often associated with ominous signs or death, flying away at the chapter’s close, symbolizes both the threat looming over the family and the protagonist’s awareness of this danger. Together, these symbols underscore themes of vulnerability, the struggle for safety, and the presence of looming darkness or change. They contribute to a tense, unsettling mood that permeates the chapter.
4. Considering the protagonist’s reflection on the essay as a “love letter” rather than an accusation, how does this perspective influence the reader’s understanding of her motivations?
Answer:
Viewing the essay as a “love letter” reframes the protagonist’s motivations from one of rebellion or anger to one of hope and care. She writes not to condemn but to call attention to what is worth saving—the family and the community. This perspective deepens the reader’s empathy for her, showing her desire to heal and improve her environment despite the risks involved. It also highlights her maturity and nuanced understanding of the complex social dynamics she is confronting, emphasizing her courage and commitment to positive change.
5. What role does the mother play during the escalating conflict, and how does her response affect the family dynamic in this chapter?
Answer:
The mother acts as a calming, protective presence amid the chaos. She attempts to de-escalate the situation by telling the family to go to bed and physically shielding the protagonist and her siblings. Her confrontation with the father also shows her resilience and refusal to be intimidated (“Go to hell,” she says). However, her inability to completely control the situation—evident when the father attacks her—reflects the limits of her power within the family dynamic. Her role underscores the tension between protection and vulnerability within the household and highlights the precariousness of their safety.
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