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    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.
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    If These Wings Could Fly

    Chapter Sixty-Four

    by McCauley, Kyrie

    The chap­ter opens with the stark image of red and blue police lights flash­ing against the worn sid­ing of a house, sym­bol­iz­ing a frac­tured ver­sion of the Amer­i­can dream. The cold night and the narrator’s pro­tec­tive grasp on a small­er hand empha­size a feel­ing of vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty and ten­sion. The arrival of Offi­cer Bill DiMar­co marks a turn­ing point, as the nar­ra­tor anx­ious­ly won­ders whether their father will be released again, only to see him hand­cuffed and tak­en away. The scene con­veys a deep sense of fear and the harsh real­i­ty of their family’s sit­u­a­tion.

    As the sit­u­a­tion unfolds, a sec­ond offi­cer con­tacts a judge to obtain an emer­gency pro­tec­tion order, high­light­ing the pro­ce­dur­al chal­lenges posed by the hol­i­day tim­ing. The tem­po­rary order will remain in effect until a for­mal hear­ing can be held after the new year, bar­ring the father from the home and requir­ing him to sur­ren­der his firearm with­in twen­ty-four hours of release. This legal inter­ven­tion intro­duces a frag­ile sense of safe­ty and con­trol amid ongo­ing uncer­tain­ty. The family’s cau­tious hope is under­scored by the offi­cial actions tak­en to pro­tect them.

    Offi­cer DiMarco’s dis­com­fort and awk­ward apol­o­gy to the nar­ra­tor reveal the emo­tion­al weight of involve­ment in such per­son­al and painful cir­cum­stances. His acknowl­edg­ment of the narrator’s essay, which pre­sum­ably detailed their lived expe­ri­ence, con­trasts with the narrator’s exhaus­tion and skep­ti­cism toward adult apolo­gies. The inter­ac­tion reflects a com­plex mix of empa­thy and help­less­ness from those tasked with enforc­ing the law, as well as the narrator’s guard­ed response to these ges­tures.

    The chap­ter clos­es with a moment of qui­et resilience. The narrator’s moth­er remains res­olute, and for the first time in a long while, the nar­ra­tor feels gen­uine­ly heard and pos­si­bly safe. This fleet­ing reas­sur­ance, born from the pro­tec­tion order and the pres­ence of law enforce­ment, offers a glimpse of hope amid hard­ship. The final sen­ti­ment cap­tures the bit­ter­sweet relief of feel­ing pro­tect­ed, even if only tem­porar­i­ly, in a sit­u­a­tion shaped by fear and uncer­tain­ty.

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    FAQs

    • 1. What events lead to the involvement of Officer Bill DiMarco and other authorities in the chapter, and how do they respond to the situation?

      Answer:
      The chapter depicts a tense and cold night where red and blue lights flash on the siding of a house, signaling a police response. Officer Bill DiMarco arrives first to handle a situation involving the narrator’s father, who is placed in handcuffs and taken into custody. Another officer contacts a judge at home to request an emergency protection order, highlighting the urgency and severity of the situation. The temporary order restricts the father from contacting or being near the family and requires him to surrender his firearm within 24 hours of release. Officer DiMarco shows discomfort and empathy, especially after reading the narrator’s essay, yet maintains professional detachment. The authorities act decisively to protect the family, balancing legal procedures with immediate safety concerns.

      2. How does the narrator describe their emotional and physical state during the police intervention, and what does this reveal about their experience?

      Answer:
      The narrator describes feeling panicked, exhausted, and freezing in the cold, with their hands wrapped around a smaller hand, likely a sibling or child, emphasizing vulnerability and the need for protection. The panic arises from uncertainty about whether the father will be detained or released again, reflecting the trauma of past experiences. The narrator also expresses skepticism toward Officer DiMarco’s apology, indicating a weariness of “halfhearted atonements” from adults who have failed them before. This emotional complexity reveals a deep exhaustion from living in a threatening environment and a guarded hope for safety. The physical coldness parallels their emotional chill, underscoring the harshness of their reality.

      3. What significance does the emergency protection order hold for the family, and how does it alter their sense of safety?

      Answer:
      The emergency protection order is a critical legal measure that temporarily bars the father from the house and the family members, providing a formal safeguard against further harm. It also mandates the surrender of firearms, reducing the risk of violence. For the family, this order represents a tangible step toward safety and control over their environment, something they have long lacked. The narrator notes that, for the first time in a long time, they feel heard and possibly safe, underscoring the emotional relief and hope the order brings. While the narrator remains cautious about the future, the order marks a turning point in their lived experience of fear and vulnerability.

      4. Analyze Officer DiMarco’s behavior and attitude during the intervention. What does his response suggest about the challenges law enforcement faces in domestic situations?

      Answer:
      Officer DiMarco’s behavior is marked by discomfort and a desire to distance himself from the situation, as indicated by his shifting feet and apparent wish to be “anywhere else.” His apology after reading the narrator’s essay suggests empathy and an understanding of the pain involved, yet his professional role requires him to act impartially and enforce the law. This duality highlights the emotional and ethical challenges police face when intervening in domestic conflicts, where personal feelings must be balanced with procedural duties. DiMarco’s promise to deliver the protection order personally reflects a commitment to the family’s welfare beyond mere protocol, illustrating the complex human dimension of law enforcement work in sensitive cases.

      5. Reflecting on this chapter, what does the phrase “A different kind of American dream” imply about the family’s experience and broader social issues?

      Answer:
      The phrase “A different kind of American dream” juxtaposed with the flashing police lights and the family’s distress suggests a stark contrast between the idealized vision of safety, prosperity, and freedom and the harsh reality faced by the family. Instead of comfort and security, their “dream” involves survival, protection from domestic violence, and navigating the legal system to assert their rights. This phrase invites reflection on systemic issues such as domestic abuse, the limits of social support, and the disparities in access to safety and justice. It challenges readers to reconsider the American dream’s inclusivity and the societal obligations to protect vulnerable families from cycles of violence.

    Quotes

    • 1. “RED AND BLUE LIGHTS FLASH ON the worn, once-white siding of the house. Red, blue, and gray. A different kind of American dream.”

      This opening line sets the scene with vivid imagery that contrasts the idealized notion of the American dream with a stark reality marked by emergency and distress. It encapsulates the chapter’s exploration of domestic turmoil and societal challenges.

      2. “Officer Bill DiMarco is the first to arrive. When I see him, I feel that thing trapped in my chest panicking. Will he just let him go again? But he doesn’t. He puts him in handcuffs. He acts like he doesn’t even know him.”

      This passage highlights the tension and uncertainty surrounding law enforcement’s response to repeated domestic incidents. It marks a turning point in the narrative where accountability begins to take hold, underscoring themes of protection and justice.

      3. “Another officer arrives and calls a judge at home, waking him to request an emergency protection order… If he’s released before that, the order bars him from the house and any of us. And according to the order, he has twenty-four hours upon release to surrender his firearm.”

      This quote reveals the legal mechanisms activated to ensure safety and protection for the family, emphasizing the seriousness of the situation and the role of the judicial system in intervening during crises.

      4. ““I read the essay, Leighton. I’m sorry. I, uh—I’m just sorry. That was really hard to read.” “It was really hard to live in.””

      This exchange captures the emotional weight carried by the narrator and the acknowledgment of that pain by an authority figure. It poignantly conveys the lived experience behind the written words, deepening the reader’s empathy and understanding.

      5. “I don’t think about tomorrow. I don’t think about the possibility that she could change her mind again. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I feel like we’ve been heard. I feel like maybe we are safe. And it feels so damn good.”

      The closing reflection expresses a hard-won sense of hope and security, marking a moment of emotional relief and potential healing. It underscores the chapter’s central theme of seeking and attaining safety amid hardship.

    Quotes

    1. “RED AND BLUE LIGHTS FLASH ON the worn, once-white siding of the house. Red, blue, and gray. A different kind of American dream.”

    This opening line sets the scene with vivid imagery that contrasts the idealized notion of the American dream with a stark reality marked by emergency and distress. It encapsulates the chapter’s exploration of domestic turmoil and societal challenges.

    2. “Officer Bill DiMarco is the first to arrive. When I see him, I feel that thing trapped in my chest panicking. Will he just let him go again? But he doesn’t. He puts him in handcuffs. He acts like he doesn’t even know him.”

    This passage highlights the tension and uncertainty surrounding law enforcement’s response to repeated domestic incidents. It marks a turning point in the narrative where accountability begins to take hold, underscoring themes of protection and justice.

    3. “Another officer arrives and calls a judge at home, waking him to request an emergency protection order… If he’s released before that, the order bars him from the house and any of us. And according to the order, he has twenty-four hours upon release to surrender his firearm.”

    This quote reveals the legal mechanisms activated to ensure safety and protection for the family, emphasizing the seriousness of the situation and the role of the judicial system in intervening during crises.

    4. ““I read the essay, Leighton. I’m sorry. I, uh—I’m just sorry. That was really hard to read.” “It was really hard to live in.””

    This exchange captures the emotional weight carried by the narrator and the acknowledgment of that pain by an authority figure. It poignantly conveys the lived experience behind the written words, deepening the reader’s empathy and understanding.

    5. “I don’t think about tomorrow. I don’t think about the possibility that she could change her mind again. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I feel like we’ve been heard. I feel like maybe we are safe. And it feels so damn good.”

    The closing reflection expresses a hard-won sense of hope and security, marking a moment of emotional relief and potential healing. It underscores the chapter’s central theme of seeking and attaining safety amid hardship.

    FAQs

    1. What events lead to the involvement of Officer Bill DiMarco and other authorities in the chapter, and how do they respond to the situation?

    Answer:
    The chapter depicts a tense and cold night where red and blue lights flash on the siding of a house, signaling a police response. Officer Bill DiMarco arrives first to handle a situation involving the narrator’s father, who is placed in handcuffs and taken into custody. Another officer contacts a judge at home to request an emergency protection order, highlighting the urgency and severity of the situation. The temporary order restricts the father from contacting or being near the family and requires him to surrender his firearm within 24 hours of release. Officer DiMarco shows discomfort and empathy, especially after reading the narrator’s essay, yet maintains professional detachment. The authorities act decisively to protect the family, balancing legal procedures with immediate safety concerns.

    2. How does the narrator describe their emotional and physical state during the police intervention, and what does this reveal about their experience?

    Answer:
    The narrator describes feeling panicked, exhausted, and freezing in the cold, with their hands wrapped around a smaller hand, likely a sibling or child, emphasizing vulnerability and the need for protection. The panic arises from uncertainty about whether the father will be detained or released again, reflecting the trauma of past experiences. The narrator also expresses skepticism toward Officer DiMarco’s apology, indicating a weariness of “halfhearted atonements” from adults who have failed them before. This emotional complexity reveals a deep exhaustion from living in a threatening environment and a guarded hope for safety. The physical coldness parallels their emotional chill, underscoring the harshness of their reality.

    3. What significance does the emergency protection order hold for the family, and how does it alter their sense of safety?

    Answer:
    The emergency protection order is a critical legal measure that temporarily bars the father from the house and the family members, providing a formal safeguard against further harm. It also mandates the surrender of firearms, reducing the risk of violence. For the family, this order represents a tangible step toward safety and control over their environment, something they have long lacked. The narrator notes that, for the first time in a long time, they feel heard and possibly safe, underscoring the emotional relief and hope the order brings. While the narrator remains cautious about the future, the order marks a turning point in their lived experience of fear and vulnerability.

    4. Analyze Officer DiMarco’s behavior and attitude during the intervention. What does his response suggest about the challenges law enforcement faces in domestic situations?

    Answer:
    Officer DiMarco’s behavior is marked by discomfort and a desire to distance himself from the situation, as indicated by his shifting feet and apparent wish to be “anywhere else.” His apology after reading the narrator’s essay suggests empathy and an understanding of the pain involved, yet his professional role requires him to act impartially and enforce the law. This duality highlights the emotional and ethical challenges police face when intervening in domestic conflicts, where personal feelings must be balanced with procedural duties. DiMarco’s promise to deliver the protection order personally reflects a commitment to the family’s welfare beyond mere protocol, illustrating the complex human dimension of law enforcement work in sensitive cases.

    5. Reflecting on this chapter, what does the phrase “A different kind of American dream” imply about the family’s experience and broader social issues?

    Answer:
    The phrase “A different kind of American dream” juxtaposed with the flashing police lights and the family’s distress suggests a stark contrast between the idealized vision of safety, prosperity, and freedom and the harsh reality faced by the family. Instead of comfort and security, their “dream” involves survival, protection from domestic violence, and navigating the legal system to assert their rights. This phrase invites reflection on systemic issues such as domestic abuse, the limits of social support, and the disparities in access to safety and justice. It challenges readers to reconsider the American dream’s inclusivity and the societal obligations to protect vulnerable families from cycles of violence.

    Note