Cover of If These Wings Could Fly
    FantasyFictionLiterary FictionYoung Adult

    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.

    In this chap­ter, the nar­ra­tor and Liam revis­it a seclud­ed spot where they pre­vi­ous­ly shared time togeth­er, find­ing com­fort in the qui­et and the warmth of the car’s hood under a blan­ket. The scene is peace­ful, sur­round­ed by trees that seem to pro­tect their small world. Their shared silence speaks to a mutu­al desire for soli­tude, yet also a unique close­ness that allows them to be alone togeth­er. The atmos­phere reflects both the inti­ma­cy and the com­plex­i­ty of their rela­tion­ship as they nav­i­gate per­son­al and com­mu­nal chal­lenges.

    The nar­ra­tor reveals to Liam that she sub­mit­ted an essay crit­i­cal of their home­town, Auburn, to a schol­ar­ship con­test, risk­ing local back­lash since the essay would be pub­lished if she wins. This dis­clo­sure brings ten­sion, as Liam express­es con­cern for her safe­ty, high­light­ing the risks involved in speak­ing out. Their con­ver­sa­tion reveals the narrator’s inter­nal strug­gle between the desire to expose uncom­fort­able truths and the fear of the con­se­quences, under­scor­ing the theme of courage amid vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty.

    Liam shares his own feel­ings of alien­ation with­in Auburn despite his suc­cess, describ­ing the pres­sure to main­tain a flaw­less image to avoid rejec­tion. He acknowl­edges the town’s selec­tive accep­tance of his iden­ti­ty, which weighs heav­i­ly on him. Their exchange con­trasts his exter­nal vig­i­lance with the narrator’s hyper­vig­i­lance at home, illus­trat­ing the dif­fer­ent ways they cope with soci­etal judg­ment. Both express a shared hope for a future beyond the lim­i­ta­tions of their cur­rent envi­ron­ment, empha­siz­ing resilience and the long­ing for free­dom.

    The chap­ter clos­es with a ten­der moment where Liam prais­es the narrator’s brav­ery and admits his affec­tion began with her qui­et strength and sur­pris­ing out­burst in class. Their play­ful ban­ter reveals deep affec­tion and mutu­al respect, rein­forc­ing their bond. Despite the narrator’s doubts about being ful­ly accept­ed, Liam’s unwa­ver­ing sup­port high­lights a theme of uncon­di­tion­al love and accep­tance, affirm­ing their com­mit­ment to face chal­lenges togeth­er.

    FAQs

    • 1. How does the setting of the car hood under the star-spotted night sky contribute to the mood and themes of the chapter?

      Answer:
      The setting of Liam and the narrator sitting on the warm hood of his car beneath a circle of treetops framing a starry sky creates an intimate and contemplative mood. This natural, protected space—described as being guarded by “giant sentinels”—symbolizes a safe haven where the characters can be vulnerable and open. The imagery supports themes of protection, solitude, and connection. It also contrasts with the tension and challenges they face in their everyday lives, highlighting their need for moments of peace and mutual support as they navigate personal and social struggles.

      2. What internal and external conflicts does Liam reveal in his conversation with the narrator, and how do these conflicts reflect broader themes in the chapter?

      Answer:
      Liam reveals an internal conflict of feeling pressured to maintain a flawless image to be accepted by his community, fearing rejection if he shows any imperfection or parts of his identity that the town does not embrace. Externally, he experiences the town’s conditional acceptance, where people admire his athletic success but might reject him if he diverges from expectations (e.g., kneeling before a game). This reflects broader themes of identity, societal expectations, and the emotional toll of “performing” to fit in. The chapter explores how both Liam and the narrator cope with these pressures differently, emphasizing the theme of authenticity versus conformity.

      3. In what ways does the narrator’s decision to submit an essay critical of their town to the township council serve as a catalyst for the chapter’s exploration of courage and vulnerability?

      Answer:
      The narrator’s submission of a candid essay about Auburn, potentially exposing uncomfortable truths, acts as a catalyst by bringing to the surface fears about safety and acceptance. This decision embodies courage because it risks social backlash and personal vulnerability, especially given the narrator’s concern about the essay being published in the local Gazette. It prompts a deep conversation with Liam about the cost of speaking out and the desire to no longer “hide in the shadows.” This act challenges the characters to confront their fears and consider the necessity of bravery in pursuing truth and change, reinforcing the chapter’s focus on resilience and self-expression.

      4. How do the characters’ differing experiences with “guarding” themselves illustrate the chapter’s commentary on fear and identity?

      Answer:
      Liam and the narrator both describe living with guardedness but in contrasting environments: Liam feels the need to uphold a perfect public persona to avoid prejudice within the town, while the narrator feels hypervigilant and afraid primarily within their own home. This contrast illustrates how fear shapes identity and behavior differently depending on context. The chapter comments on the pervasive nature of fear and the emotional exhaustion it causes, while also showing the importance of mutual understanding and support. Their shared experiences highlight the complexity of navigating identity in spaces that may not fully accept them.

      5. Reflecting on Liam’s confession about what initially attracted him to the narrator, what does this reveal about their relationship and the chapter’s portrayal of authenticity?

      Answer:
      Liam’s confession that he was first drawn to the narrator’s outward appearance but then became captivated by her unexpected bravery and outspoken nature reveals a relationship built on layers of genuine connection beyond superficial attraction. It shows that authenticity—expressed through the narrator’s willingness to speak up and challenge norms—is a core element of their bond. The chapter portrays authenticity as both difficult and powerful, suggesting that true connection arises when people reveal their true selves, even if it involves risk. This dynamic reinforces the chapter’s themes of courage, vulnerability, and the transformative power of being seen and accepted.

    Quotes

    • 1. “Turns out we can be alone together.”

      This concise statement captures a key emotional insight of the chapter, highlighting the comfort and intimacy found in shared silence. It reflects the evolving relationship dynamic between the narrator and Liam, setting a tone of connection and mutual understanding early in the scene.

      2. “I just think I would like to use writing to tell people things they ought to know about. To tell the truth.”

      Here, the narrator reveals her motivation for pursuing journalism, emphasizing a commitment to truth and meaningful communication. This quote encapsulates a central theme of the chapter—using voice and writing as tools for honesty and change.

      3. “This town only takes the parts of my identity it likes, ignores the rest. It’s exhausting.”

      Liam’s reflection on his experience in their hometown exposes the complexities of identity and acceptance within a small community. This quote powerfully expresses feelings of conditional acceptance and the toll of constant vigilance, deepening the reader’s understanding of his character and the social environment.

      4. “Some days I feel like I’m a hundred years old. Like being afraid has always been my life and it’s always going to be my life.”

      The narrator’s candid admission about the weight of fear and hypervigilance conveys the emotional exhaustion she endures. This line poignantly illustrates the internal struggles that underpin her external actions and decisions.

      5. “Leighton, if you think that asshole is gonna scare me away from loving you, you are ba”

      Though cut off, this declaration from Liam serves as a powerful affirmation of his commitment and support. It functions as a turning point that reinforces the strength of their relationship against external challenges.

    Quotes

    1. “Turns out we can be alone together.”

    This concise statement captures a key emotional insight of the chapter, highlighting the comfort and intimacy found in shared silence. It reflects the evolving relationship dynamic between the narrator and Liam, setting a tone of connection and mutual understanding early in the scene.

    2. “I just think I would like to use writing to tell people things they ought to know about. To tell the truth.”

    Here, the narrator reveals her motivation for pursuing journalism, emphasizing a commitment to truth and meaningful communication. This quote encapsulates a central theme of the chapter—using voice and writing as tools for honesty and change.

    3. “This town only takes the parts of my identity it likes, ignores the rest. It’s exhausting.”

    Liam’s reflection on his experience in their hometown exposes the complexities of identity and acceptance within a small community. This quote powerfully expresses feelings of conditional acceptance and the toll of constant vigilance, deepening the reader’s understanding of his character and the social environment.

    4. “Some days I feel like I’m a hundred years old. Like being afraid has always been my life and it’s always going to be my life.”

    The narrator’s candid admission about the weight of fear and hypervigilance conveys the emotional exhaustion she endures. This line poignantly illustrates the internal struggles that underpin her external actions and decisions.

    5. “Leighton, if you think that asshole is gonna scare me away from loving you, you are ba”

    Though cut off, this declaration from Liam serves as a powerful affirmation of his commitment and support. It functions as a turning point that reinforces the strength of their relationship against external challenges.

    FAQs

    1. How does the setting of the car hood under the star-spotted night sky contribute to the mood and themes of the chapter?

    Answer:
    The setting of Liam and the narrator sitting on the warm hood of his car beneath a circle of treetops framing a starry sky creates an intimate and contemplative mood. This natural, protected space—described as being guarded by “giant sentinels”—symbolizes a safe haven where the characters can be vulnerable and open. The imagery supports themes of protection, solitude, and connection. It also contrasts with the tension and challenges they face in their everyday lives, highlighting their need for moments of peace and mutual support as they navigate personal and social struggles.

    2. What internal and external conflicts does Liam reveal in his conversation with the narrator, and how do these conflicts reflect broader themes in the chapter?

    Answer:
    Liam reveals an internal conflict of feeling pressured to maintain a flawless image to be accepted by his community, fearing rejection if he shows any imperfection or parts of his identity that the town does not embrace. Externally, he experiences the town’s conditional acceptance, where people admire his athletic success but might reject him if he diverges from expectations (e.g., kneeling before a game). This reflects broader themes of identity, societal expectations, and the emotional toll of “performing” to fit in. The chapter explores how both Liam and the narrator cope with these pressures differently, emphasizing the theme of authenticity versus conformity.

    3. In what ways does the narrator’s decision to submit an essay critical of their town to the township council serve as a catalyst for the chapter’s exploration of courage and vulnerability?

    Answer:
    The narrator’s submission of a candid essay about Auburn, potentially exposing uncomfortable truths, acts as a catalyst by bringing to the surface fears about safety and acceptance. This decision embodies courage because it risks social backlash and personal vulnerability, especially given the narrator’s concern about the essay being published in the local Gazette. It prompts a deep conversation with Liam about the cost of speaking out and the desire to no longer “hide in the shadows.” This act challenges the characters to confront their fears and consider the necessity of bravery in pursuing truth and change, reinforcing the chapter’s focus on resilience and self-expression.

    4. How do the characters’ differing experiences with “guarding” themselves illustrate the chapter’s commentary on fear and identity?

    Answer:
    Liam and the narrator both describe living with guardedness but in contrasting environments: Liam feels the need to uphold a perfect public persona to avoid prejudice within the town, while the narrator feels hypervigilant and afraid primarily within their own home. This contrast illustrates how fear shapes identity and behavior differently depending on context. The chapter comments on the pervasive nature of fear and the emotional exhaustion it causes, while also showing the importance of mutual understanding and support. Their shared experiences highlight the complexity of navigating identity in spaces that may not fully accept them.

    5. Reflecting on Liam’s confession about what initially attracted him to the narrator, what does this reveal about their relationship and the chapter’s portrayal of authenticity?

    Answer:
    Liam’s confession that he was first drawn to the narrator’s outward appearance but then became captivated by her unexpected bravery and outspoken nature reveals a relationship built on layers of genuine connection beyond superficial attraction. It shows that authenticity—expressed through the narrator’s willingness to speak up and challenge norms—is a core element of their bond. The chapter portrays authenticity as both difficult and powerful, suggesting that true connection arises when people reveal their true selves, even if it involves risk. This dynamic reinforces the chapter’s themes of courage, vulnerability, and the transformative power of being seen and accepted.

    Note