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    FantasyFictionLiterary FictionYoung Adult

    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.
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    If These Wings Could Fly

    Chapter Fourteen

    by McCauley, Kyrie

    Chap­ter Four­teen unfolds on a bustling Sat­ur­day morn­ing at the Auburn Din­er, a local hub where the Barnes family’s deep roots in the town are evi­dent. The nar­ra­tor reflects on the fam­i­ly lega­cy, built by her grandfather’s con­struc­tion com­pa­ny, which phys­i­cal­ly shaped much of Auburn. Despite this proud her­itage, there is an under­ly­ing ten­sion, as the nar­ra­tor begins to ques­tion the dual nature of her father—his pub­lic per­sona ver­sus the pri­vate real­i­ty with­in their home. The family’s inter­ac­tions reveal the com­plex­i­ties of main­tain­ing appear­ances amidst per­son­al strug­gles.

    Dur­ing their break­fast, the fam­i­ly encoun­ters famil­iar faces, includ­ing Chris­tine, a wait­ress and old friend of the narrator’s moth­er, and Offi­cer DiMar­co, a long­time fam­i­ly acquain­tance. These inter­ac­tions high­light the father’s grow­ing iso­la­tion as he sub­tly dis­cour­ages his wife from social­iz­ing, effec­tive­ly push­ing away those who might sup­port her. The father’s attempt to smooth over ten­sions by treat­ing the fam­i­ly to pan­cakes con­trasts sharply with the narrator’s inner tur­moil, under­scor­ing the frag­ile veneer of nor­mal­cy they strive to uphold.

    The chap­ter deep­ens as Offi­cer DiMar­co men­tions a recent pro­fes­sion­al set­back for the father, who lost a bid for a library ren­o­va­tion project. This news unset­tles the fam­i­ly, par­tic­u­lar­ly the moth­er, who sens­es the strain beneath her husband’s com­posed exte­ri­or. The father’s phys­i­cal ges­ture toward his wife, a grip on her shoul­der that seems both reas­sur­ing and con­trol­ling, reveals the com­pli­cat­ed dynam­ics of their rela­tion­ship. The chil­dren, espe­cial­ly Juniper, watch close­ly for cues on how to respond, illus­trat­ing the fam­i­ly’s silent endurance.

    The narrator’s per­son­al dis­tress cul­mi­nates in a vis­cer­al reac­tion to the break­fast, sym­bol­iz­ing the emo­tion­al weight she car­ries. Despite the out­ward smiles and polite farewells, the chap­ter clos­es with her flee­ing to the restroom to vom­it, a raw man­i­fes­ta­tion of her grief and fear. This poignant moment cap­tures the painful con­trast between the family’s pub­lic facade and the pri­vate suf­fer­ing that defines their real­i­ty, leav­ing a last­ing impres­sion of vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty beneath the sur­face.

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    FAQs

    • 1. How does the chapter portray the theme of legacy through the Barnes family and their history in Auburn?

      Answer:
      The chapter presents legacy as a complex and multifaceted concept, particularly through the Barnes family’s long-standing presence in Auburn. The grandfather’s legacy is tangible and enduring—his name and construction dates are literally carved into the town’s buildings, symbolizing a lasting physical impact and community contribution. However, the narrator questions the nature of legacy beyond public achievements, hinting at the duality of personal character (“how many men have two faces”) and suggesting that a legacy can be complicated by private behavior. This duality introduces the idea that legacies encompass both public successes and private struggles, shaping how future generations perceive their family history.

      2. What role does the Auburn Diner setting play in revealing family dynamics and character relationships in this chapter?

      Answer:
      The Auburn Diner serves as a social hub and a backdrop that highlights various family and community relationships. It is a place where the family gathers publicly, yet underlying tensions and personal struggles surface subtly. The waiting time for a table creates opportunities for small talk, revealing the father’s social ease contrasted with the narrator’s discomfort. Interactions with familiar figures like the waitress Christine and Officer DiMarco expose the father’s past prominence and current challenges, including his failed business bid and fractured friendships. The diner setting accentuates the contrast between outward appearances—family togetherness, social niceties—and the internal emotional strain experienced by the narrator and her mother.

      3. Analyze how the chapter uses food, specifically pancakes, as a symbol to deepen the narrative’s emotional impact.

      Answer:
      Pancakes in this chapter symbolize both an attempt at reconciliation and the underlying distress within the family. The father’s choice to apologize “with pancakes instead of flowers” suggests a desire to make amends in a modest, familiar way. However, the narrator’s reaction to eating the pancakes—gagging and eventually vomiting—reveals the emotional turmoil beneath the surface. The sweetness and comfort typically associated with pancakes starkly contrast with her feelings of fear, pain, and grief caused by her father’s behavior. This juxtaposition highlights the dissonance between appearances and reality, emphasizing how simple gestures can mask deeper familial dysfunction.

      4. What does the interaction between the narrator’s mother and the waitress Christine reveal about the mother’s social life and the father’s influence?

      Answer:
      The interaction suggests that the mother’s social life has been limited or controlled, largely due to the father’s influence. Although Christine warmly invites the mother to a girls’ night out, the father immediately intervenes, dismissing the invitation and implying that the mother cannot go. This exchange exposes the father’s controlling behavior and his role in isolating the mother from her friends, as indicated by the narrator’s observation that “one by one, Dad has found reasons to push people away” and that the mother eventually lets friendships slip away. This dynamic underscores the father’s dominance in the family and the mother’s constrained social freedom.

      5. How does the chapter convey the narrator’s internal conflict and emotional state during the family breakfast?

      Answer:
      The narrator’s internal conflict is conveyed through contrasting external events and her physical reactions. While the family engages in polite conversation and social pleasantries, the narrator experiences intense discomfort and fear, particularly due to her father’s unpredictable and sometimes cruel behavior. Her sore legs from sleeping in the armoire illustrate a physical manifestation of anxiety and insecurity. The moment she takes a bite of pancake and gags symbolizes her emotional rejection of the situation. Her eventual need to flee and vomit in the restroom reveals the depth of her distress and grief. These details communicate her struggle to maintain composure amid family dysfunction and the emotional toll it takes on her.

    Quotes

    • 1. “Legacy is a strange thing.”

      This succinct statement captures the chapter’s exploration of family history and the complex nature of what is passed down through generations—not just tangible assets like buildings, but also the hidden, dual realities within a family.

      2. “My grandfather’s legacy in this town is literally carved in stone—his name and the dates of construction are chiseled into cement blocks on almost everything built here over the two decades when his business was booming. The legacy of the people he employed. But I’m starting to wonder how many men have two faces. One for inside their home, and one for outside.”

      This quote reveals the contrast between public success and private turmoil, highlighting the theme of duality in personal identity and legacy that runs through the chapter.

      3. “One by one, Dad has found reasons to push people away. Your friends always hated me. They aren’t good influences on you. Eventually, she just let those friendships slip away.”

      This passage illustrates how the father’s controlling behavior isolates the family, underscoring the emotional and social consequences of his actions and setting the tone for the family dynamics.

      4. “I hate the bad nights. I hate how loud and cruel he can be. How scared he makes us. But it is mornings like this that hurt the most. When we are expected to pretend that everything is okay.”

      Here, the narrator poignantly expresses the emotional pain caused not just by overt abuse but by the forced façade of normalcy, emphasizing the chapter’s focus on hidden suffering beneath everyday appearances.

      5. “We smile. We nod. We say pleasant goodbyes. But the milk in my coffee tastes curdled, and the sugar turns to salt on my tongue, and I’m bolting from the table, barely making it to the diner restroom before I throw up flour and sugar and salt and grief.”

      This powerful closing quote encapsulates the unbearable tension between outward politeness and inner turmoil, vividly portraying the narrator’s physical and emotional distress as a metaphor for the family’s fractured reality.

    Quotes

    1. “Legacy is a strange thing.”

    This succinct statement captures the chapter’s exploration of family history and the complex nature of what is passed down through generations—not just tangible assets like buildings, but also the hidden, dual realities within a family.

    2. “My grandfather’s legacy in this town is literally carved in stone—his name and the dates of construction are chiseled into cement blocks on almost everything built here over the two decades when his business was booming. The legacy of the people he employed. But I’m starting to wonder how many men have two faces. One for inside their home, and one for outside.”

    This quote reveals the contrast between public success and private turmoil, highlighting the theme of duality in personal identity and legacy that runs through the chapter.

    3. “One by one, Dad has found reasons to push people away. Your friends always hated me. They aren’t good influences on you. Eventually, she just let those friendships slip away.”

    This passage illustrates how the father’s controlling behavior isolates the family, underscoring the emotional and social consequences of his actions and setting the tone for the family dynamics.

    4. “I hate the bad nights. I hate how loud and cruel he can be. How scared he makes us. But it is mornings like this that hurt the most. When we are expected to pretend that everything is okay.”

    Here, the narrator poignantly expresses the emotional pain caused not just by overt abuse but by the forced façade of normalcy, emphasizing the chapter’s focus on hidden suffering beneath everyday appearances.

    5. “We smile. We nod. We say pleasant goodbyes. But the milk in my coffee tastes curdled, and the sugar turns to salt on my tongue, and I’m bolting from the table, barely making it to the diner restroom before I throw up flour and sugar and salt and grief.”

    This powerful closing quote encapsulates the unbearable tension between outward politeness and inner turmoil, vividly portraying the narrator’s physical and emotional distress as a metaphor for the family’s fractured reality.

    FAQs

    1. How does the chapter portray the theme of legacy through the Barnes family and their history in Auburn?

    Answer:
    The chapter presents legacy as a complex and multifaceted concept, particularly through the Barnes family’s long-standing presence in Auburn. The grandfather’s legacy is tangible and enduring—his name and construction dates are literally carved into the town’s buildings, symbolizing a lasting physical impact and community contribution. However, the narrator questions the nature of legacy beyond public achievements, hinting at the duality of personal character (“how many men have two faces”) and suggesting that a legacy can be complicated by private behavior. This duality introduces the idea that legacies encompass both public successes and private struggles, shaping how future generations perceive their family history.

    2. What role does the Auburn Diner setting play in revealing family dynamics and character relationships in this chapter?

    Answer:
    The Auburn Diner serves as a social hub and a backdrop that highlights various family and community relationships. It is a place where the family gathers publicly, yet underlying tensions and personal struggles surface subtly. The waiting time for a table creates opportunities for small talk, revealing the father’s social ease contrasted with the narrator’s discomfort. Interactions with familiar figures like the waitress Christine and Officer DiMarco expose the father’s past prominence and current challenges, including his failed business bid and fractured friendships. The diner setting accentuates the contrast between outward appearances—family togetherness, social niceties—and the internal emotional strain experienced by the narrator and her mother.

    3. Analyze how the chapter uses food, specifically pancakes, as a symbol to deepen the narrative’s emotional impact.

    Answer:
    Pancakes in this chapter symbolize both an attempt at reconciliation and the underlying distress within the family. The father’s choice to apologize “with pancakes instead of flowers” suggests a desire to make amends in a modest, familiar way. However, the narrator’s reaction to eating the pancakes—gagging and eventually vomiting—reveals the emotional turmoil beneath the surface. The sweetness and comfort typically associated with pancakes starkly contrast with her feelings of fear, pain, and grief caused by her father’s behavior. This juxtaposition highlights the dissonance between appearances and reality, emphasizing how simple gestures can mask deeper familial dysfunction.

    4. What does the interaction between the narrator’s mother and the waitress Christine reveal about the mother’s social life and the father’s influence?

    Answer:
    The interaction suggests that the mother’s social life has been limited or controlled, largely due to the father’s influence. Although Christine warmly invites the mother to a girls’ night out, the father immediately intervenes, dismissing the invitation and implying that the mother cannot go. This exchange exposes the father’s controlling behavior and his role in isolating the mother from her friends, as indicated by the narrator’s observation that “one by one, Dad has found reasons to push people away” and that the mother eventually lets friendships slip away. This dynamic underscores the father’s dominance in the family and the mother’s constrained social freedom.

    5. How does the chapter convey the narrator’s internal conflict and emotional state during the family breakfast?

    Answer:
    The narrator’s internal conflict is conveyed through contrasting external events and her physical reactions. While the family engages in polite conversation and social pleasantries, the narrator experiences intense discomfort and fear, particularly due to her father’s unpredictable and sometimes cruel behavior. Her sore legs from sleeping in the armoire illustrate a physical manifestation of anxiety and insecurity. The moment she takes a bite of pancake and gags symbolizes her emotional rejection of the situation. Her eventual need to flee and vomit in the restroom reveals the depth of her distress and grief. These details communicate her struggle to maintain composure amid family dysfunction and the emotional toll it takes on her.

    Note