If These Wings Could Fly
Chapter Forty-Six
by McCauley, KyrieThe chapter opens with Leighton waking up to a heavy, aching sadness rather than fear, surrounded by her mother and sisters in a cramped bed. She notices the absence of Liam’s truck, suggesting he stayed at the office overnight. The quiet tension contrasts with the usual anxiety she feels, setting a somber tone. As her mother quietly tends to the younger children, Leighton senses the fragility of their situation, reflecting on the complex emotional dynamics within her family and the strain caused by Liam’s behavior and the financial pressures they face during the winter slowdown.
Leighton and her mother share a bittersweet moment recalling their childhood game of creating nonsensical malaphors, a tender memory that now feels distant and fraught. Their playful exchange quickly sours as Leighton confronts her mother about the need for a restraining order against Liam, revealing the depth of her concern and frustration. Her mother, however, remains conflicted, emphasizing the importance of preserving the marriage and the home Liam grew up in, while suggesting a temporary retreat to Nana’s house to let tensions cool, a plan Leighton resists vehemently.
The emotional divide between mother and daughter deepens as they argue over responsibility and safety, with Leighton’s sharp words leaving both feeling wounded. Despite the pain, her mother asks for time to think, offering a fragile truce. Leighton decides to spend the weekend apart, staying with a friend instead of joining the family at Nana’s, highlighting her need for space to process the turmoil. Campbell’s quiet support underscores the uncertainty and unresolved tension that pervades their family life.
As her family leaves, Leighton faces the cold reality of her fractured home and uncertain future. Liam’s delayed arrival to drive her to school adds to the strain, yet their brief exchange is marked by a muted understanding of the challenges they face. The chapter closes with Leighton stepping into the cold, snow-covered landscape dotted with crows—a symbolic backdrop that mirrors the darkness and complexity of her internal and external struggles, leaving readers with a sense of unresolved conflict and fragile hope.
FAQs
1. How does the chapter depict the emotional atmosphere in Leighton’s household, and what does this reveal about the family dynamics?
Answer:
The chapter portrays a tense and fragile emotional atmosphere in Leighton’s household. Leighton wakes up with a stomachache and an aching sadness, signaling underlying distress. The family members—her mother and sisters—are physically close, like “Tetris pieces,” yet there is emotional distance and unresolved conflict, especially between Leighton and her mother. The mother’s reluctance to confront the abusive or difficult behavior of Leighton’s father (implied by the need for a restraining order and the fear of losing the house) reveals a complicated dynamic of protection, denial, and fear. Leighton’s frustration and anger contrast with her mother’s cautiousness, highlighting a fractured family struggling with safety, loyalty, and survival.2. What role do the “malaphors” play in Leighton and her mother’s interaction, and what deeper meaning might their use convey?
Answer:
The “malaphors,” or mixed idioms, function as a nostalgic connection between Leighton and her mother, recalling a game they played when Leighton was younger. Their playful exchange momentarily lightens the mood and shows their shared history and closeness. However, the mother’s use of malaphors also signals a defense mechanism—she uses humor and cleverness to mask her anxiety and reluctance to confront the harsh realities at home. The shift from playful banter to serious discussion underscores the tension between past warmth and present turmoil, reflecting how the family’s communication has become strained and fraught with unspoken fears.3. Analyze how Leighton’s relationship with her mother evolves during this chapter. What are the key points of conflict and understanding?
Answer:
In this chapter, Leighton’s relationship with her mother is marked by conflict, frustration, and a yearning for protection. The key conflict arises when Leighton insists on a restraining order against her father, but her mother refuses, prioritizing the preservation of the marriage and the family home. Leighton’s anger culminates in harsh words that cause visible hurt to her mother, revealing the emotional toll on both. Despite their disagreement, there is a moment of understanding when the mother admits she needs time to think, and Leighton acknowledges her own need for time by choosing to stay elsewhere. This evolution shows a complex bond where love, fear, and differing coping mechanisms collide.4. Considering the chapter’s events, how might Leighton’s decision to stay with Sofia instead of going to Nana’s reflect her character and situation?
Answer:
Leighton’s choice to stay with Sofia rather than go to Nana’s place demonstrates her desire for independence and control amid chaos. It reflects her need to distance herself from the family tension and the unresolved issues with her father and mother. This decision also signifies her attempt to find a safe space where she can process her emotions and think clearly, rather than retreating into the family dynamic that feels suffocating. It highlights her maturity and assertiveness, as well as her struggle to balance familial loyalty with self-preservation.5. What does the symbolism of the crows and the snowy fields contribute to the mood and themes of the chapter?
Answer:
The imagery of “hundreds and hundreds of crows” dotted across the snow-covered fields evokes a sense of foreboding, isolation, and unease. Crows often symbolize ominous signs, death, or bad luck, reinforcing the chapter’s underlying tension and the feeling of being watched or trapped. The stark contrast between the white snow and the dark crows mirrors the chapter’s themes of innocence versus danger, purity versus corruption, and the coldness of the family situation. This setting deepens the mood of sadness and uncertainty that permeates Leighton’s experience and foreshadows the ongoing struggles she faces.
Quotes
1. “I don’t know what I’m looking for—some kind of sign that this is it. The morning after when she says enough. I don’t see any sign.”
This quote captures the narrator’s deep uncertainty and emotional turmoil following a tense night, highlighting the fragile state of her family relationships and the absence of resolution or clarity.
2. “It’s like he thinks we are mocking him, all the time. Like the town. Like his father.”
This insight reveals the underlying tension between the narrator’s family and the father figure, illustrating the broader theme of misunderstanding and conflict rooted in past grievances and community pressures.
3. “‘I know last night was scary, but he’s been under a lot of pressure. You know construction work slows and stops in winter, and we have a lot of bills. We could lose the house, Leighton.’”
This statement by the mother reflects the complex dynamics of loyalty, fear, and economic hardship that shape her decisions, emphasizing the difficult balance between safety and stability in the family.
4. “‘Well, somebody has to do it.’ These words have teeth, and we fall silent after I say them. Mom turns away, but not before I see the hurt on her face.”
This moment marks a pivotal confrontation between mother and daughter, where frustration and pain surface, revealing the emotional cost of caretaking and the struggle for agency within the family.
5. “‘She’s not leaving him.’ It’s not a question. Campbell seems to have already known what the outcome of last night would be: nothing.”
This quote underscores the resigned acceptance of the family’s situation by those around the narrator, highlighting the theme of entrapment within difficult circumstances and foreshadowing ongoing challenges.