Cover of If These Wings Could Fly
    FantasyFictionLiterary FictionYoung Adult

    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.

    The chap­ter opens with the nar­ra­tor awak­en­ing before dawn to the gen­tle sound of rain against the win­dow. In this qui­et, lim­i­nal moment, the nar­ra­tor expe­ri­ences a pro­found sense of weight­less­ness and free­dom, likened to a lone bird sus­pend­ed in the night sky. How­ev­er, this fleet­ing sen­sa­tion is quick­ly replaced by the ground­ing real­i­ty of their sur­round­ings, marked by the phys­i­cal pres­ence of Liam beside them. The inti­ma­cy of shar­ing a bed with­out any roman­tic or phys­i­cal devel­op­ments empha­sizes a deep, com­fort­ing con­nec­tion rather than pas­sion.

    The nar­ra­tor reflects on the rar­i­ty of such peace­ful sleep, free from night­mares or fear, high­light­ing a his­to­ry of unrest or trau­ma. The tran­quil­i­ty of Liam’s room con­trasts with pre­vi­ous nights of anx­i­ety and vig­i­lance, sug­gest­ing a tem­po­rary refuge from the narrator’s inner tur­moil. Sleep here is metaphor­i­cal­ly described as some­thing elu­sive yet desired, a frag­ile state just beyond reach, under­scor­ing the narrator’s ongo­ing strug­gle to find rest and peace.

    A new pres­ence is intro­duced with the sub­tle but sig­nif­i­cant detail that they are not alone. The nar­ra­tor notices Joe, a bird perched out­side the win­dow, por­trayed with almost myth­i­cal still­ness and time­less­ness. Joe’s silent vig­il, resem­bling a stat­ue more than a liv­ing crea­ture, evokes a sense of watch­ful­ness and mys­tery. The bird’s sharp fea­tures, illu­mi­nat­ed by street­light, sym­bol­ize a qui­et guardian or sen­tinel, bridg­ing the nat­ur­al and emo­tion­al land­scapes of the scene.

    The chap­ter clos­es with a gen­tle farewell to Joe, as the nar­ra­tor draws the shade closed, sig­nal­ing an end to this moment of shared soli­tude and obser­va­tion. This act encap­su­lates the chapter’s themes of con­nec­tion, pro­tec­tion, and the del­i­cate bal­ance between free­dom and ground­ing. The imagery and mood evoke a con­tem­pla­tive pause in the nar­ra­tive, invit­ing reflec­tion on the char­ac­ters’ rela­tion­ships and the sub­tle forces that watch over them.

    FAQs

    • 1. How does the narrator describe their initial state upon waking, and what does this reveal about their mental and emotional condition at the start of the chapter?

      Answer:
      The narrator wakes “long before dawn” to the sound of rain, initially experiencing a state of blankness and detachment. They describe themselves as “a breathing thing in the pitch-black,” “nameless and floating,” and “a lone bird in the night sky, weightless and free.” This imagery conveys a sense of vulnerability, isolation, and a temporary disconnection from reality. However, this feeling is short-lived as the narrator becomes grounded by the physical sensations of lying in bed with Liam. The contrast between the initial ethereal state and the return to physical awareness suggests a tension between the desire for escape or freedom and the pull of reality and human connection.

      2. What significance does the narrator attribute to sleeping beside Liam, and how does this reflect their relationship?

      Answer:
      Sleeping beside Liam is portrayed as a comforting and grounding experience for the narrator. They note that they have not slept so soundly in ages—no nightmares or fears disturb their rest. The narrator emphasizes that “nothing happened,” indicating that their closeness is emotional rather than physical, highlighting a desire for companionship and safety rather than romantic or sexual intimacy at this moment. This reflects a relationship based on trust and mutual support, where simply being near each other provides solace and a reprieve from anxieties or threats that the narrator has previously faced.

      3. Analyze the symbolism of Joe, the bird outside Liam’s window. What might Joe represent within the context of the chapter?

      Answer:
      Joe, the bird perched outside the window, is described almost as a statue—”frozen in time”—and likened to a “bird instead of the real thing,” with attention drawn to his “black eye,” “gray feathers,” and “scissor-sharp beak.” This imagery imbues Joe with a mysterious, almost ominous presence. Symbolically, Joe could represent watchfulness, vigilance, or an omen. His silent observation throughout the night suggests a protective or sentinel role, possibly reflecting the narrator’s subconscious awareness of external threats or unresolved tensions. The narrator’s whispered “Good night, Joe,” implies a recognition of this presence and perhaps an acceptance of the watchful eye that guards them even in vulnerable moments.

      4. How does the chapter use sensory details to create atmosphere and mood? Provide examples.

      Answer:
      The chapter employs sensory details such as the “soft rain hitting the window,” the “barefoot on the cool hardwood floor,” and “Liam’s warm breath on the back of my neck” to evoke a quiet, intimate, and somewhat somber atmosphere. The rain sets a calm yet melancholic tone, while the tactile sensations of warmth and coolness contrast to ground the narrator in the physical world. The darkness and shadows in Liam’s room add a layer of mystery and introspection, enhancing the mood of vulnerability and reflection. These sensory elements work together to immerse the reader in the narrator’s internal experience and the stillness of the pre-dawn setting.

      5. Considering the narrator’s reflections and the setting, what themes are emerging in this chapter?

      Answer:
      Several themes emerge, including vulnerability, connection, and the interplay between freedom and grounding. The narrator’s initial sense of weightlessness and namelessness contrasts with the physical and emotional grounding provided by Liam’s presence, highlighting a tension between isolation and intimacy. The presence of Joe the bird introduces themes of watchfulness and the passage of time, perhaps hinting at unresolved past events or looming challenges. The peaceful sleep free of nightmares suggests a temporary reprieve or healing. Overall, the chapter explores how human connection can provide safety and stability amid uncertainty and how moments of quiet reflection reveal deeper emotional truths.

    Quotes

    • 1. “I WAKE UP LONG BEFORE DAWN to the sound of soft rain hitting the window. For a moment, my mind is a perfectly blank slate, awake, but not yet aware. I am nothing but a breathing thing in the pitch-black. Nameless and floating. A lone bird in the night sky, weightless and free.”

      This opening passage captures the narrator’s initial state of peaceful detachment and vulnerability, using the metaphor of a “lone bird” to evoke a sense of freedom and emptiness before reality intrudes. It sets the contemplative and intimate tone of the chapter.

      2. “But a few moments pass, and I feel my weight in the mattress, pulling me back to earth. I realize that the window I’m looking at isn’t my own, and gravity—reality—finds me again, grounds me.”

      This quote highlights the transition from a dreamlike, suspended consciousness back to physical reality, emphasizing the theme of grounding oneself amid fleeting moments of escape or freedom. It marks a key turning point in the narrator’s awareness.

      3. “I lie in Liam’s bed, studying the shadows of his room, trying to remember what they were in the light. Now sleep is the winged thing, just out of reach.”

      Here, sleep is personified as elusive and fragile, reinforcing the chapter’s motif of wings and flight. The narrator’s reflection on shadows versus light symbolizes the tension between comfort and uncertainty in this shared space.

      4. “Joe sits in the tree outside Liam’s window. He is facing the street and looks almost like a statue of a bird instead of the real thing. I wonder if he has been there all night. I wonder if he’s been there for a hundred years, watching.”

      This evocative image of Joe as a timeless sentinel encapsulates themes of observation, permanence, and the blurred line between animate and inanimate. It provides a mysterious, almost mythical layer to the narrative’s atmosphere.

      5. ““Good night, Joe,” I whisper, and let the shade fall into place.”

      The closing line conveys a quiet farewell and acceptance, symbolizing the narrator’s desire to close a chapter or moment while acknowledging the watchful presence outside. It serves as a poignant, intimate conclusion to the scene.

    Quotes

    1. “I WAKE UP LONG BEFORE DAWN to the sound of soft rain hitting the window. For a moment, my mind is a perfectly blank slate, awake, but not yet aware. I am nothing but a breathing thing in the pitch-black. Nameless and floating. A lone bird in the night sky, weightless and free.”

    This opening passage captures the narrator’s initial state of peaceful detachment and vulnerability, using the metaphor of a “lone bird” to evoke a sense of freedom and emptiness before reality intrudes. It sets the contemplative and intimate tone of the chapter.

    2. “But a few moments pass, and I feel my weight in the mattress, pulling me back to earth. I realize that the window I’m looking at isn’t my own, and gravity—reality—finds me again, grounds me.”

    This quote highlights the transition from a dreamlike, suspended consciousness back to physical reality, emphasizing the theme of grounding oneself amid fleeting moments of escape or freedom. It marks a key turning point in the narrator’s awareness.

    3. “I lie in Liam’s bed, studying the shadows of his room, trying to remember what they were in the light. Now sleep is the winged thing, just out of reach.”

    Here, sleep is personified as elusive and fragile, reinforcing the chapter’s motif of wings and flight. The narrator’s reflection on shadows versus light symbolizes the tension between comfort and uncertainty in this shared space.

    4. “Joe sits in the tree outside Liam’s window. He is facing the street and looks almost like a statue of a bird instead of the real thing. I wonder if he has been there all night. I wonder if he’s been there for a hundred years, watching.”

    This evocative image of Joe as a timeless sentinel encapsulates themes of observation, permanence, and the blurred line between animate and inanimate. It provides a mysterious, almost mythical layer to the narrative’s atmosphere.

    5. ““Good night, Joe,” I whisper, and let the shade fall into place.”

    The closing line conveys a quiet farewell and acceptance, symbolizing the narrator’s desire to close a chapter or moment while acknowledging the watchful presence outside. It serves as a poignant, intimate conclusion to the scene.

    FAQs

    1. How does the narrator describe their initial state upon waking, and what does this reveal about their mental and emotional condition at the start of the chapter?

    Answer:
    The narrator wakes “long before dawn” to the sound of rain, initially experiencing a state of blankness and detachment. They describe themselves as “a breathing thing in the pitch-black,” “nameless and floating,” and “a lone bird in the night sky, weightless and free.” This imagery conveys a sense of vulnerability, isolation, and a temporary disconnection from reality. However, this feeling is short-lived as the narrator becomes grounded by the physical sensations of lying in bed with Liam. The contrast between the initial ethereal state and the return to physical awareness suggests a tension between the desire for escape or freedom and the pull of reality and human connection.

    2. What significance does the narrator attribute to sleeping beside Liam, and how does this reflect their relationship?

    Answer:
    Sleeping beside Liam is portrayed as a comforting and grounding experience for the narrator. They note that they have not slept so soundly in ages—no nightmares or fears disturb their rest. The narrator emphasizes that “nothing happened,” indicating that their closeness is emotional rather than physical, highlighting a desire for companionship and safety rather than romantic or sexual intimacy at this moment. This reflects a relationship based on trust and mutual support, where simply being near each other provides solace and a reprieve from anxieties or threats that the narrator has previously faced.

    3. Analyze the symbolism of Joe, the bird outside Liam’s window. What might Joe represent within the context of the chapter?

    Answer:
    Joe, the bird perched outside the window, is described almost as a statue—”frozen in time”—and likened to a “bird instead of the real thing,” with attention drawn to his “black eye,” “gray feathers,” and “scissor-sharp beak.” This imagery imbues Joe with a mysterious, almost ominous presence. Symbolically, Joe could represent watchfulness, vigilance, or an omen. His silent observation throughout the night suggests a protective or sentinel role, possibly reflecting the narrator’s subconscious awareness of external threats or unresolved tensions. The narrator’s whispered “Good night, Joe,” implies a recognition of this presence and perhaps an acceptance of the watchful eye that guards them even in vulnerable moments.

    4. How does the chapter use sensory details to create atmosphere and mood? Provide examples.

    Answer:
    The chapter employs sensory details such as the “soft rain hitting the window,” the “barefoot on the cool hardwood floor,” and “Liam’s warm breath on the back of my neck” to evoke a quiet, intimate, and somewhat somber atmosphere. The rain sets a calm yet melancholic tone, while the tactile sensations of warmth and coolness contrast to ground the narrator in the physical world. The darkness and shadows in Liam’s room add a layer of mystery and introspection, enhancing the mood of vulnerability and reflection. These sensory elements work together to immerse the reader in the narrator’s internal experience and the stillness of the pre-dawn setting.

    5. Considering the narrator’s reflections and the setting, what themes are emerging in this chapter?

    Answer:
    Several themes emerge, including vulnerability, connection, and the interplay between freedom and grounding. The narrator’s initial sense of weightlessness and namelessness contrasts with the physical and emotional grounding provided by Liam’s presence, highlighting a tension between isolation and intimacy. The presence of Joe the bird introduces themes of watchfulness and the passage of time, perhaps hinting at unresolved past events or looming challenges. The peaceful sleep free of nightmares suggests a temporary reprieve or healing. Overall, the chapter explores how human connection can provide safety and stability amid uncertainty and how moments of quiet reflection reveal deeper emotional truths.

    Note