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    If These Wings Could Fly

    by McCauley, Kyrie
    If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.
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    If These Wings Could Fly

    Chapter Fifty-Nine

    by McCauley, Kyrie

    In Chap­ter Fifty-Nine of *If These Wings Could Fly*, the pro­tag­o­nist faces a tur­bu­lent Mon­day morn­ing marked by con­cern and emo­tion­al strain. Liam, vis­i­bly dis­tressed, picks her up and reveals his wor­ry after hear­ing unset­tling news from Fiona and Sofia. His pro­tec­tive instincts prompt him to con­sid­er call­ing the police, under­scor­ing the grav­i­ty of the sit­u­a­tion. Despite the ten­sion, their inter­ac­tion reveals a deep bond, as Liam down­plays his own dis­ap­point­ments and focus­es on her well-being. The pro­tag­o­nist acknowl­edges the uncer­tain­ty of her plans and reflects on the para­dox of fear—whether known and famil­iar or unknown and daunt­ing.

    The jour­ney to school is slow and sym­bol­ic, with crows dense­ly pop­u­lat­ing the roads, cre­at­ing a sur­re­al atmos­phere that mir­rors the protagonist’s inter­nal con­flict. Liam’s cau­tious dri­ving through the omi­nous pres­ence of the birds empha­sizes the weight of unspo­ken fears. Upon arriv­ing at school, the pro­tag­o­nist bypass­es her class­es, instead seek­ing refuge in the news­pa­per office where she finds com­fort and sup­port. Sofia’s imme­di­ate pro­tec­tive stance and encour­age­ment to write high­light the impor­tance of sol­i­dar­i­ty and cre­ative expres­sion dur­ing times of emo­tion­al upheaval.

    Writ­ing becomes a cru­cial out­let for the pro­tag­o­nist, who chan­nels her anger and vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty into an essay she is deter­mined to sub­mit. The act of writ­ing is both a per­son­al cathar­sis and a strate­gic move—motivated by a desire to win a schol­ar­ship and to make her voice heard. She con­fronts the com­plex­i­ty of her home­town, Auburn, rec­og­niz­ing that her pre­vi­ous por­tray­al was incom­plete. The town’s nar­ra­tive is not sole­ly defined by pain and neglect but is also shaped by acts of kind­ness, sol­i­dar­i­ty, and resilience embod­ied by those around her.

    Ulti­mate­ly, the pro­tag­o­nist real­izes that her sto­ry is an inte­gral part of Auburn’s fab­ric. Her cri­tique and love for the town coex­ist, reflect­ing a nuanced under­stand­ing of iden­ti­ty and com­mu­ni­ty. By acknowl­edg­ing her own pres­ence and expe­ri­ence with­in Auburn, she com­pletes her essay with clar­i­ty and pur­pose. This chap­ter empha­sizes themes of vul­ner­a­bil­i­ty, courage, and the pow­er of sto­ry­telling as a means to reclaim agency and fos­ter con­nec­tion amidst adver­si­ty.

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    FAQs

    • 1. How does Liam’s reaction to the protagonist’s situation illustrate his character and their relationship?

      Answer:
      Liam’s reaction shows a deep sense of care and concern for the protagonist. He is described as a “wreck,” worried enough to consider calling the police, which underscores how seriously he takes the situation. His concern goes beyond superficial matters, as evidenced by his indifference to the big game’s outcome, focusing instead on the protagonist’s well-being. This dynamic reveals a supportive and protective relationship, highlighting Liam’s emotional depth and reliability during a crisis.

      2. What is the significance of the crows covering the roads near the protagonist’s home, and how might this imagery relate to the chapter’s themes?

      Answer:
      The crows symbolize an overwhelming, pervasive presence of fear or trouble in the protagonist’s life, as they cover “every surface” and slow the journey to school. This imagery reflects the protagonist’s internal state—feeling trapped or overshadowed by problems at home. The crows’ presence may also suggest a foreboding atmosphere, reinforcing the theme of confronting difficult realities. Their abundance and the need to carefully navigate around them mirror the protagonist’s careful handling of her emotional and physical environment.

      3. How does the protagonist’s decision to write and submit her essay reflect her personal growth and changing perspective on her town, Auburn?

      Answer:
      Writing the essay represents a pivotal moment of self-assertion and empowerment. Initially, the protagonist struggled to capture the full picture of Auburn, seeing it largely through a lens of anger and pain. However, as she writes, she acknowledges the complexity of the town, recognizing both its flaws and its sources of support, such as friends like Sofia and Fiona, and family members like Liam. By including herself in the narrative, she embraces her identity as part of Auburn, demonstrating growth from isolation to integration, and transforming criticism into a more nuanced understanding.

      4. In what ways do the interactions between the protagonist and her friends, particularly Sofia and Fiona, highlight the importance of community support in the chapter?

      Answer:
      The friends’ support is crucial to the protagonist’s coping and healing process. Sofia’s protective gesture—guarding the door and turning off the lights to give her space to write—provides a safe environment for vulnerability and creativity. Fiona’s earlier involvement in helping the protagonist’s sisters also shows active care within their community. These interactions emphasize that while the protagonist faces personal struggles, she is not alone; the presence of empathetic friends offers emotional refuge and practical assistance, underscoring the theme that community can be a source of strength amidst adversity.

      5. What does the protagonist mean when she says her silence “benefits only one person,” and how does this realization influence her actions in the chapter?

      Answer:
      The phrase “silence benefits only one person” implies that by not speaking out or addressing her situation, the protagonist inadvertently allows someone—likely the source of the fear or abuse—to maintain control or power. This realization is a critical turning point that motivates her to break her silence through writing. By choosing to articulate her experiences and submit her essay, she takes an active step toward reclaiming her voice and agency. This decision reflects a growing awareness of the consequences of silence and a desire to challenge the status quo for her own and others’ sake.

    Quotes

    • 1. “I’m not sure if what I’m planning is right. There’s so much unknown. And maybe it’s awful at home, but at least that fear is known. Familiar.”

      This quote captures the protagonist’s internal conflict and fear of change, highlighting the tension between enduring a painful but familiar situation versus stepping into uncertainty. It sets the emotional tone early in the chapter, framing the struggle with fear and the unknown.

      2. “The drive to school takes twice as long today. All the roads near my home are covered with crows. They’re just everywhere now, covering every surface. Liam drives slowly, waiting for them to shuffle and fly away rather than risk hitting them.”

      This passage uses vivid imagery of the crows to symbolize an overwhelming, suffocating presence that parallels the protagonist’s emotional state. It represents the weight of the situation and the slow, careful navigation through a difficult reality.

      3. “My voice is clear and confident, and there isn’t even the hint of tears today. I just need to get the words down while I have them.”

      This moment marks a turning point where the protagonist asserts control through writing, using it as a means to process anger and trauma. It reflects the power of expression and the importance of seizing the moment to tell one’s truth.

      4. “This town isn’t just my grandfather’s buildings and my dad’s anger. It isn’t just people ignoring the thing right in front of them… This town is also Sofia being there when I need her, and Fiona noticing something that grown adults didn’t see and helping my sisters. And Liam being so stoic and so soft and so good.”

      Here, the protagonist expands the narrative to show complexity and nuance in their community, balancing pain and neglect with acts of kindness and solidarity. It challenges a one-dimensional view and introduces a more hopeful, multifaceted perspective.

      5. “Once I figure out what it was missing, the essay is easy to write. It was missing me.”

      This concluding insight reveals self-empowerment and ownership of one’s story as essential to understanding and change. It encapsulates the chapter’s main message about identity, voice, and the importance of acknowledging oneself within a larger context.

    Quotes

    1. “I’m not sure if what I’m planning is right. There’s so much unknown. And maybe it’s awful at home, but at least that fear is known. Familiar.”

    This quote captures the protagonist’s internal conflict and fear of change, highlighting the tension between enduring a painful but familiar situation versus stepping into uncertainty. It sets the emotional tone early in the chapter, framing the struggle with fear and the unknown.

    2. “The drive to school takes twice as long today. All the roads near my home are covered with crows. They’re just everywhere now, covering every surface. Liam drives slowly, waiting for them to shuffle and fly away rather than risk hitting them.”

    This passage uses vivid imagery of the crows to symbolize an overwhelming, suffocating presence that parallels the protagonist’s emotional state. It represents the weight of the situation and the slow, careful navigation through a difficult reality.

    3. “My voice is clear and confident, and there isn’t even the hint of tears today. I just need to get the words down while I have them.”

    This moment marks a turning point where the protagonist asserts control through writing, using it as a means to process anger and trauma. It reflects the power of expression and the importance of seizing the moment to tell one’s truth.

    4. “This town isn’t just my grandfather’s buildings and my dad’s anger. It isn’t just people ignoring the thing right in front of them… This town is also Sofia being there when I need her, and Fiona noticing something that grown adults didn’t see and helping my sisters. And Liam being so stoic and so soft and so good.”

    Here, the protagonist expands the narrative to show complexity and nuance in their community, balancing pain and neglect with acts of kindness and solidarity. It challenges a one-dimensional view and introduces a more hopeful, multifaceted perspective.

    5. “Once I figure out what it was missing, the essay is easy to write. It was missing me.”

    This concluding insight reveals self-empowerment and ownership of one’s story as essential to understanding and change. It encapsulates the chapter’s main message about identity, voice, and the importance of acknowledging oneself within a larger context.

    FAQs

    1. How does Liam’s reaction to the protagonist’s situation illustrate his character and their relationship?

    Answer:
    Liam’s reaction shows a deep sense of care and concern for the protagonist. He is described as a “wreck,” worried enough to consider calling the police, which underscores how seriously he takes the situation. His concern goes beyond superficial matters, as evidenced by his indifference to the big game’s outcome, focusing instead on the protagonist’s well-being. This dynamic reveals a supportive and protective relationship, highlighting Liam’s emotional depth and reliability during a crisis.

    2. What is the significance of the crows covering the roads near the protagonist’s home, and how might this imagery relate to the chapter’s themes?

    Answer:
    The crows symbolize an overwhelming, pervasive presence of fear or trouble in the protagonist’s life, as they cover “every surface” and slow the journey to school. This imagery reflects the protagonist’s internal state—feeling trapped or overshadowed by problems at home. The crows’ presence may also suggest a foreboding atmosphere, reinforcing the theme of confronting difficult realities. Their abundance and the need to carefully navigate around them mirror the protagonist’s careful handling of her emotional and physical environment.

    3. How does the protagonist’s decision to write and submit her essay reflect her personal growth and changing perspective on her town, Auburn?

    Answer:
    Writing the essay represents a pivotal moment of self-assertion and empowerment. Initially, the protagonist struggled to capture the full picture of Auburn, seeing it largely through a lens of anger and pain. However, as she writes, she acknowledges the complexity of the town, recognizing both its flaws and its sources of support, such as friends like Sofia and Fiona, and family members like Liam. By including herself in the narrative, she embraces her identity as part of Auburn, demonstrating growth from isolation to integration, and transforming criticism into a more nuanced understanding.

    4. In what ways do the interactions between the protagonist and her friends, particularly Sofia and Fiona, highlight the importance of community support in the chapter?

    Answer:
    The friends’ support is crucial to the protagonist’s coping and healing process. Sofia’s protective gesture—guarding the door and turning off the lights to give her space to write—provides a safe environment for vulnerability and creativity. Fiona’s earlier involvement in helping the protagonist’s sisters also shows active care within their community. These interactions emphasize that while the protagonist faces personal struggles, she is not alone; the presence of empathetic friends offers emotional refuge and practical assistance, underscoring the theme that community can be a source of strength amidst adversity.

    5. What does the protagonist mean when she says her silence “benefits only one person,” and how does this realization influence her actions in the chapter?

    Answer:
    The phrase “silence benefits only one person” implies that by not speaking out or addressing her situation, the protagonist inadvertently allows someone—likely the source of the fear or abuse—to maintain control or power. This realization is a critical turning point that motivates her to break her silence through writing. By choosing to articulate her experiences and submit her essay, she takes an active step toward reclaiming her voice and agency. This decision reflects a growing awareness of the consequences of silence and a desire to challenge the status quo for her own and others’ sake.

    Note