If These Wings Could Fly
Chapter Forty-Four
by McCauley, KyrieIn the middle of the night, the protagonist is abruptly awakened by their mother’s distressed cries, followed by the sudden and frantic entrance of the younger girls, Cammy and Juniper. Their terrified demeanor and urgent pleas reveal a dangerous situation unfolding downstairs, where the mother appears to be suffering at the hands of a violent presence. The protagonist quickly takes charge, instructing the girls to hide in the armoire for safety, despite the unsettling feeling of leaving them alone in the dark. The tension escalates as the protagonist battles their instinct to intervene immediately, understanding that any rash action could worsen the situation.
As the protagonist sits frozen on the staircase, straining to hear the events below, the house itself seems to fracture under the weight of the turmoil. A growing crack in the wall symbolizes the fragility of their home and the breaking point of their family’s safety. The mother’s silent communication and the menacing figure wielding a kitchen knife heighten the sense of danger. The protagonist’s internal struggle intensifies, torn between the urge to protect their mother and the necessity to remain hidden to prevent further violence.
The confrontation reaches a climax when the protagonist attempts to lead their mother away from the threat, only to be violently pushed back and spat upon by the aggressor. Despite the physical and emotional assault, the mother intervenes to shield the protagonist, urging them to escape while reassuring them that everything will be alright. This moment underscores the complex dynamics of fear, protection, and resilience within the family, highlighting the mother’s strength amid vulnerability.
Finally, the aggressor departs, leaving the family shaken but momentarily safe. The protagonist reunites with the younger girls in their hiding place, overwhelmed by relief and tears. The chapter closes on a note of fragile survival, capturing the raw emotions of fear, love, and hope as the family braces for what lies ahead. The scene conveys a powerful portrayal of domestic turmoil and the courage required to endure it.
FAQs
1. How does the chapter depict the atmosphere and emotional state of the family when the crisis begins?
Answer:
The chapter opens in the middle of the night with sudden panic, creating a tense and fearful atmosphere. The mother’s cry wakes the narrator, Leighton, and the girls burst into her room, their pale faces and wide terrified eyes conveying deep distress. This immediate sense of danger is heightened by the “witching hour” timing (3:47 a.m.), traditionally associated with supernatural or ominous events. The family’s emotional state is one of fear, confusion, and desperation, especially as Cammy and Juniper cry and plead for help, indicating a crisis involving their mother. The urgency and vulnerability of the characters establish a gripping emotional tone that underscores the seriousness of the situation.2. What role does the armoire play in the family’s strategy for safety, and what does it symbolize in the context of the chapter?
Answer:
The armoire functions as a hiding place and a symbol of fragile security for the children. Leighton instructs the girls to enter the armoire and remain there without a lantern, emphasizing the need for secrecy and safety in the dark. While it once could be locked, the key was removed to prevent accidental entrapment, which adds a layer of vulnerability. Symbolically, the armoire represents both shelter and confinement—it is a protective space but also an isolating one where the children must hide from danger. This duality reflects the precariousness of their safety amid domestic violence and the limits of their control over the situation.3. Analyze how the author uses physical descriptions of the environment to reinforce the emotional tension in the chapter.
Answer:
The author uses vivid descriptions of the house’s physical state to mirror the emotional fracture within the family. The crack appearing in the wall and splintering up past the toes, nails, and ceiling visually symbolizes the breaking point of the household’s stability. The imagery of pictures falling like birds suddenly dropping from the sky evokes a sense of sudden chaos and loss of order. This physical deterioration of the home parallels the emotional breakdown caused by violence and fear. The house, which should be a place of safety, is instead depicted as fragile and on the verge of collapse, intensifying the reader’s sense of danger and vulnerability.4. How does Leighton’s internal struggle reflect the complexities of intervening in a domestic violence situation?
Answer:
Leighton’s internal struggle—her intense desire to help her mother contrasted with her fear of escalating the violence—captures the difficult dynamics victims and witnesses face in domestic abuse situations. She wants to intervene physically but restrains herself, understanding that her presence might provoke further harm. This restraint is painful, as shown by her imagining herself as part of the stairs or the carpet to avoid moving. This demonstrates the paralysis and helplessness often experienced by family members caught in abusive environments. It also underscores the complexity of safety planning, where immediate intervention can sometimes worsen the situation, requiring strategic patience and caution.5. What does the ending of the chapter suggest about the family’s immediate future and the ongoing nature of their struggles?
Answer:
The chapter ends with the abuser leaving the house after a violent confrontation, which brings a temporary sense of relief and safety as Leighton and the girls emerge from hiding. However, the description of Mom crying and the presence of weapons like the knife and gun on display suggest that the danger is far from over. The emotional scars and physical threats remain palpable. The momentary departure of the abuser does not resolve the underlying issues but highlights the cyclical nature of abuse—periods of calm punctuated by violence. This ending implies that the family’s struggle with fear, control, and safety will continue, requiring ongoing vigilance and support.
Quotes
1. “I pretend my feet are now a part of the stairs themselves and I couldn’t possibly lift them. I’m nothing but the carpet, the wall, the stair. Less than that. A hair on the carpet. A spot on the wall. A nail in the stair. I’m not even here at all.”
This quote powerfully captures the narrator’s intense struggle to control her impulse to intervene during a violent moment, emphasizing her need to become invisible to avoid escalating the danger. It highlights the theme of helplessness and the psychological toll of trauma within the chapter.
2. “The line on the wall continues to grow, even though I’ve stopped applying pressure. I stand to watch as it reaches the ceiling, and doesn’t stop. It turns outward, breaking the ceiling. The tiniest fracture line, but it’s splitting the whole room in half. Like the house was just waiting for the slightest provocation to fall apart.”
Here, the fracturing wall serves as a vivid metaphor for the fragile state of the family and home, symbolizing the underlying tension and imminent breakdown caused by domestic violence. This moment marks a turning point, visually representing the emotional and physical fracture in their lives.
3. “Mom isn’t crying, but I can tell that she was. Her face is puffy and red, and when she sees me standing on the stairs, she shakes her head. She doesn’t have to say a word to convey a message.”
This quote poignantly expresses the unspoken communication and protective instincts between mother and child amid crisis. It underscores the complex dynamics of fear, love, and silent understanding that permeate the chapter.
4. “He spits in my face. Mom screams at him, pushes him away from me. Mom is crying, lifting me to my feet. ‘Go, Leighton,’ Mom says, leaning in to brush my hair behind my ear and wipe off my face. She pulls me in tight. Whispers in my ear that everything is fine.”
This passage conveys the raw violence and emotional intensity of the confrontation, as well as the mother’s fierce protective love despite her own pain. It encapsulates the chapter’s climax and the resilience found in small acts of comfort amid chaos.
5. “I run away from the kitchen with its too-bright lights, where Mom is crying and the knife is on the counter and the gun is on the fridge. I run until I’m safe, tucked into the armoire with the girls, breathing harshly and choking on tears.”
The closing quote emphasizes the aftermath of trauma and the fragile refuge the children find in hiding. It reflects the chapter’s overarching theme of survival and the desperate search for safety in a fractured environment.