If These Wings Could Fly

by McCauley, Kyrie

If These Wings Could Fly by Kyrie McCauley is a lyrical young adult novel that explores the complexities of family violence through the story of seventeen-year-old Leighton. As she starts her senior year, Leighton struggles to protect her two younger sisters while coping with her father’s ongoing abusive behavior. The narrative incorporates elements of magical realism, using the presence of thousands of crows to underscore themes of trauma, resilience, and hope.

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Chapter Two

by McCauley, Kyrie

The chapter opens with a vivid portrayal of a morning overshadowed by the unsettling presence of crows, symbolizing an ominous atmosphere that permeates the household. The narrator, Leighton, observes the birds as a metaphor for the tension that lingers with the return of a troubled figure in her life. This return disrupts the fragile normalcy she strives to maintain, especially as she prepares for school, hoping to keep peace despite the underlying turmoil.

Leighton’s relationship with her family reveals deep strains, particularly with her mother, whose smiles have lost their warmth and genuine connection. The presence of scarlet roses, a small gesture from the returning figure, contrasts starkly with the gravity of past pain and unresolved conflicts. The mother’s dismissive attitude toward Leighton’s concerns underscores a dynamic of avoidance and resignation, highlighting the emotional distance growing within the household.

The physical environment of the home mirrors the instability and tension experienced by the family. Objects like tilted picture frames and a palpable sense of pressure create a vivid backdrop that reflects the emotional and psychological strain. Leighton’s reflections on a photograph of two teenagers crowned as king and queen evoke a longing for forgiveness and resilience, qualities she questions whether she shares, emphasizing her internal struggle and desire for healing.

In the closing moments, the chapter touches on the limitations and control within the family through the symbolism of the outdated house phone, representing a lack of freedom and safety. Leighton’s act of plugging in the phone and noting the return of the dial tone suggests a small but significant moment of connection and hope amidst the pervasive uncertainty. This scene encapsulates the chapter’s themes of endurance, protection, and the search for normalcy in a fractured environment.

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FAQs

1. How does the presence of the crows at the beginning of the chapter symbolize the atmosphere in the household?

Answer:
The crows, described as being “everywhere” and more feather than leaf on the tree branches, symbolize a pervasive sense of unease and foreboding in the household. Their constant presence mirrors the tension and instability caused by the father’s return. Crows are often associated with ominous signs or impending trouble, which aligns with the protagonist’s feelings about the father’s unpredictable behavior. The imagery sets a dark, heavy mood that reflects the family’s emotional state and the looming conflicts within the home.

2. What does the protagonist’s interaction with her mother reveal about their family dynamics?

Answer:
The protagonist’s interaction with her mother reveals a strained and fragile family dynamic. The mother’s hollow smile and startled reaction to the protagonist’s presence indicate a woman worn down by stress and fear. Her quick dismissal of questions about the father and abrupt change of subject suggest avoidance and a desire to maintain a fragile peace. The mother’s increased work shifts and the protagonist’s protective concern for her sisters highlight the family’s struggle to cope with instability, financial pressure, and emotional turmoil caused by the father’s behavior.

3. In what ways does the protagonist’s internal conflict about “letting go” or “provoking” reflect her coping mechanisms?

Answer:
The protagonist’s hesitation to either confront or avoid the situation with her father demonstrates her ongoing internal conflict and survival strategy. She tries to “normalize the morning” and hopes to influence her father’s mood through calmness, revealing her desire to maintain control in an uncontrollable environment. This push and pull between provoking change and letting go reflects her struggle to balance self-preservation with the need for safety and stability for herself and her sisters. It shows her acute awareness of the volatility in the household and her attempts to navigate it carefully.

4. How does the photograph of the teenagers wearing crowns function symbolically in the chapter?

Answer:
The photograph of the teenagers wearing crowns symbolizes idealized innocence, happiness, and perhaps a lost or unattainable version of family life. The protagonist’s focus on the girl in the photo, noting their physical similarities and wondering about emotional traits like forgiveness, reveals a deep yearning for connection and understanding. The decision to leave the photo on the counter rather than hang it back up symbolizes uncertainty and ambivalence about embracing or rejecting that idealized image of family and self. It reflects the protagonist’s struggle with identity and hope amidst the chaos.

5. Considering the chapter’s depiction of the household phone and the absence of cell phones, what does this detail suggest about the family’s situation and the father’s control?

Answer:
The detail about the single, corded household phone and the absence of cell phones highlights the family’s isolation and the father’s controlling behavior. The father’s refusal to allow cell phones, citing their connection to police and cost, suggests an effort to limit the family’s access to outside help and independence. The protagonist’s act of plugging in the phone and testing the dial tone represents a small act of resistance and a desire for communication or rescue. This detail underscores the theme of control and the barriers the family faces in seeking safety and freedom.

Quotes

1. “IN THE MORNING, THE CROWS ARE still here. And by here, I mean everywhere. Crows on every branch of the tree in our front yard, until it is more feather than leaf.”

This opening image sets a haunting, oppressive tone for the chapter, symbolizing a pervasive sense of unease and foreboding that looms over the narrator’s life. The crows serve as a metaphor for the tension and darkness that saturate the household environment.

2. “Sometimes if we do things just right, he matches our calm. He migrates toward our normal.”

This quote reveals the fragile and conditional peace within the family dynamic, underscoring the narrator’s desperate hope to maintain stability despite underlying turmoil. It captures the precarious balance they strive to achieve in the face of an unpredictable presence.

3. “It’s like the house itself knows when these nights are coming. There are clues, if we watch carefully: a subtle darkening in the corners of the rooms; the picture frames tilting on their nails, preparing to fall at the first commotion; the sudden compulsion to whisper, as though the house will carry our secrets to his ears.”

Here, the narrator personifies the house as a living entity aware of impending conflict, emphasizing the constant tension and fear that saturate their daily existence. This passage powerfully conveys the atmosphere of dread and the psychological impact of living with ongoing threat.

4. “The pressure inside builds for weeks, until it is so palpable I can taste it on my tongue—metallic and biting. Like blood. The taste of anger.”

This vivid sensory description encapsulates the mounting emotional strain and violence lurking beneath the surface of the family’s life. It highlights the narrator’s acute awareness of the emotional and physical dangers they face.

5. “He told Mom and me that we could have cell phones last year. Then he remembered that cell phones call police and cost money, so we never got them. There’s just this one phone, with a cord that does nothing to help us when he tears it out of the wall.”

This quote starkly illustrates the control and isolation imposed by the abuser, symbolizing the limited means of escape or help available to the family. It reflects a critical theme of entrapment and the struggle for safety within the home.

Quotes

1. “IN THE MORNING, THE CROWS ARE still here. And by here, I mean everywhere. Crows on every branch of the tree in our front yard, until it is more feather than leaf.”

This opening image sets a haunting, oppressive tone for the chapter, symbolizing a pervasive sense of unease and foreboding that looms over the narrator’s life. The crows serve as a metaphor for the tension and darkness that saturate the household environment.

2. “Sometimes if we do things just right, he matches our calm. He migrates toward our normal.”

This quote reveals the fragile and conditional peace within the family dynamic, underscoring the narrator’s desperate hope to maintain stability despite underlying turmoil. It captures the precarious balance they strive to achieve in the face of an unpredictable presence.

3. “It’s like the house itself knows when these nights are coming. There are clues, if we watch carefully: a subtle darkening in the corners of the rooms; the picture frames tilting on their nails, preparing to fall at the first commotion; the sudden compulsion to whisper, as though the house will carry our secrets to his ears.”

Here, the narrator personifies the house as a living entity aware of impending conflict, emphasizing the constant tension and fear that saturate their daily existence. This passage powerfully conveys the atmosphere of dread and the psychological impact of living with ongoing threat.

4. “The pressure inside builds for weeks, until it is so palpable I can taste it on my tongue—metallic and biting. Like blood. The taste of anger.”

This vivid sensory description encapsulates the mounting emotional strain and violence lurking beneath the surface of the family’s life. It highlights the narrator’s acute awareness of the emotional and physical dangers they face.

5. “He told Mom and me that we could have cell phones last year. Then he remembered that cell phones call police and cost money, so we never got them. There’s just this one phone, with a cord that does nothing to help us when he tears it out of the wall.”

This quote starkly illustrates the control and isolation imposed by the abuser, symbolizing the limited means of escape or help available to the family. It reflects a critical theme of entrapment and the struggle for safety within the home.

FAQs

1. How does the presence of the crows at the beginning of the chapter symbolize the atmosphere in the household?

Answer:
The crows, described as being “everywhere” and more feather than leaf on the tree branches, symbolize a pervasive sense of unease and foreboding in the household. Their constant presence mirrors the tension and instability caused by the father’s return. Crows are often associated with ominous signs or impending trouble, which aligns with the protagonist’s feelings about the father’s unpredictable behavior. The imagery sets a dark, heavy mood that reflects the family’s emotional state and the looming conflicts within the home.

2. What does the protagonist’s interaction with her mother reveal about their family dynamics?

Answer:
The protagonist’s interaction with her mother reveals a strained and fragile family dynamic. The mother’s hollow smile and startled reaction to the protagonist’s presence indicate a woman worn down by stress and fear. Her quick dismissal of questions about the father and abrupt change of subject suggest avoidance and a desire to maintain a fragile peace. The mother’s increased work shifts and the protagonist’s protective concern for her sisters highlight the family’s struggle to cope with instability, financial pressure, and emotional turmoil caused by the father’s behavior.

3. In what ways does the protagonist’s internal conflict about “letting go” or “provoking” reflect her coping mechanisms?

Answer:
The protagonist’s hesitation to either confront or avoid the situation with her father demonstrates her ongoing internal conflict and survival strategy. She tries to “normalize the morning” and hopes to influence her father’s mood through calmness, revealing her desire to maintain control in an uncontrollable environment. This push and pull between provoking change and letting go reflects her struggle to balance self-preservation with the need for safety and stability for herself and her sisters. It shows her acute awareness of the volatility in the household and her attempts to navigate it carefully.

4. How does the photograph of the teenagers wearing crowns function symbolically in the chapter?

Answer:
The photograph of the teenagers wearing crowns symbolizes idealized innocence, happiness, and perhaps a lost or unattainable version of family life. The protagonist’s focus on the girl in the photo, noting their physical similarities and wondering about emotional traits like forgiveness, reveals a deep yearning for connection and understanding. The decision to leave the photo on the counter rather than hang it back up symbolizes uncertainty and ambivalence about embracing or rejecting that idealized image of family and self. It reflects the protagonist’s struggle with identity and hope amidst the chaos.

5. Considering the chapter’s depiction of the household phone and the absence of cell phones, what does this detail suggest about the family’s situation and the father’s control?

Answer:
The detail about the single, corded household phone and the absence of cell phones highlights the family’s isolation and the father’s controlling behavior. The father’s refusal to allow cell phones, citing their connection to police and cost, suggests an effort to limit the family’s access to outside help and independence. The protagonist’s act of plugging in the phone and testing the dial tone represents a small act of resistance and a desire for communication or rescue. This detail underscores the theme of control and the barriers the family faces in seeking safety and freedom.

If These Wings Could Fly

Chapter Two

FAQs

1. How does the presence of the crows at the beginning of the chapter symbolize the atmosphere in the household?

2. What does the protagonist’s interaction with her mother reveal about their family dynamics?

3. In what ways does the protagonist’s internal conflict about “letting go” or “provoking” reflect her coping mechanisms?

4. How does the photograph of the teenagers wearing crowns function symbolically in the chapter?

5. Considering the chapter’s depiction of the household phone and the absence of cell phones, what does this detail suggest about the family’s situation and the father’s control?

Quotes

1. “IN THE MORNING, THE CROWS ARE still here. And by here, I mean everywhere. Crows on every branch of the tree in our front yard, until it is more feather than leaf.”

2. “Sometimes if we do things just right, he matches our calm. He migrates toward our normal.”

4. “The pressure inside builds for weeks, until it is so palpable I can taste it on my tongue—metallic and biting. Like blood. The taste of anger.”

5. “He told Mom and me that we could have cell phones last year. Then he remembered that cell phones call police and cost money, so we never got them. There’s just this one phone, with a cord that does nothing to help us when he tears it out of the wall.”

Quotes

1. “IN THE MORNING, THE CROWS ARE still here. And by here, I mean everywhere. Crows on every branch of the tree in our front yard, until it is more feather than leaf.”

2. “Sometimes if we do things just right, he matches our calm. He migrates toward our normal.”

4. “The pressure inside builds for weeks, until it is so palpable I can taste it on my tongue—metallic and biting. Like blood. The taste of anger.”

5. “He told Mom and me that we could have cell phones last year. Then he remembered that cell phones call police and cost money, so we never got them. There’s just this one phone, with a cord that does nothing to help us when he tears it out of the wall.”

FAQs

1. How does the presence of the crows at the beginning of the chapter symbolize the atmosphere in the household?

2. What does the protagonist’s interaction with her mother reveal about their family dynamics?

3. In what ways does the protagonist’s internal conflict about “letting go” or “provoking” reflect her coping mechanisms?

4. How does the photograph of the teenagers wearing crowns function symbolically in the chapter?

5. Considering the chapter’s depiction of the household phone and the absence of cell phones, what does this detail suggest about the family’s situation and the father’s control?