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CHAPTER
50
I slept beside him, offering what warmth I could, monitoring the cave
entrance the entirety of the night. The beasts in the forest prowled past in an
endless parade, and only in the gray light before dawn did their snarls and
hissing fade.
Rhys was unconscious as watery sunlight painted the stone walls, his
skin clammy. I checked his wounds and found them barely healed, an oily
sheen oozing from them.
And when I put a hand on his brow, I swore at the heat.
Poison had coated those arrows. And that poison remained in his body.
The Illyrian camp was so distant that my own powers, feeble from the
night before, wouldn’t get us far.
But if they had those horrible chains to nullify his powers, had ash
arrows to bring him down, then that poison …
An hour passed. He didn’t get better. No, his golden skin was pale—
paling. His breaths were shallow. “Rhys,” I said softly.
He didn’t move. I tried shaking him. If he could tell me what the poison
was, maybe I could try to find something to help him … He did not awaken.
Around midday, panic gripped me in a tight fist.
I didn’t know anything about poisons or remedies. And out here, so far
from anyone … Would Cassian track us down in time? Would Mor winnow
in? I tried to rouse Rhys over and over.
The poison had dragged him down deep. I would not risk waiting for
help to arrive.
I would not risk him.
So I bundled him in as many layers as I could spare, yet took my cloak,
kissed his brow, and left.
We were only a few hundred yards from where I’d been hunting the night
before, and as I emerged from the cave, I tried not to look at the tracks of
the beasts who had passed through, right above us. Enormous, horrible
tracks.
What I was to hunt would be worse.
We were already near running water—so I made my trap close by,
building my snare with hands that I refused to let shake.
I placed the cloak—mostly new, rich, lovely—in the center of my snare.
And I waited.
An hour. Two.
I was about to start bargaining with the Cauldron, with the Mother, when
a creeping, familiar silence fell over the wood.
Rippling toward me, the birds stopped chirping, the wind stopped sighing
in the pines.
And when a crack sounded through the forest, followed by a screech that
hollowed out my ears, I nocked an arrow into my bow and set off to see the
Suriel.
It was as horrific as I remembered:
Tattered robes barely concealing a body made of not skin, but what
looked to be solid, worn bone. Its lipless mouth held too-large teeth, and its
fingers—long, spindly—clicked against each other while it weighed the
fine cloak I’d laid in the center of my snare, as if the cloth had been blown
in on a wind.
“Feyre Cursebreaker,” it said, turning toward me, in a voice that was both
one and many.
I lowered my bow. “I have need of you.”
Time—I was running out of time. I could feel it, that urgency begging me
to hurry through the bond.
“What fascinating changes a year has wrought on you—on the world,” it
said.
A year. Yes, it had been over a year now since I’d first crossed the wall.
“I have questions,” I said.
It smiled, each of those stained, too-large brown teeth visible. “You have
two questions.”
An answer and an order.
I didn’t waste time; not with Rhys, not when this wood might be full of
enemies hunting for us.
“What poison was used on those arrows?”
“Bloodbane,” it said.
I didn’t know that poison—had never heard of it.
“Where do I find the cure?”
The Suriel clicked its bone fingers against each other, as if the answer lay
inside the sound. “In the forest.”
I hissed, my brows flattening. “Please—please don’t be cryptic. What is
the cure?”
The Suriel cocked its head, the bone gleaming in the light. “Your blood.
Give him your blood, Cursebreaker. It is rich with the healing gift of the
High Lord of the Dawn. It shall spare him from the bloodbane’s wrath.”
“That’s it?” I pushed. “How much blood?”
“A few mouthfuls will do.” A hollow, dry wind—not at all like the misty,
cold veils that usually drifted past—brushed my face. “I helped you before.
I have helped you now. And you will free me before I lose my patience,
Cursebreaker.”
Some primal, lingering human part of me trembled as I took in the snare
around its legs, pinning it to the ground. Perhaps this time, the Suriel had let
itself be caught. And knew how to free itself—had learned it the moment
I’d spared it from the naga.
A test—of honor. And a favor. For the arrow I’d shot to save it last year.
But I nocked an ash arrow into my bow, cringing at the sheen of poison
coating it. “Thank you for your help,” I said, bracing myself for flight
should it charge at me.
The Suriel’s stained teeth clacked against each other. “If you wish to
speed your mate’s healing, in addition to your blood, a pink-flowered weed
sprouts by the river. Make him chew it.”
I fired my arrow at the snare before I finished hearing its words.
The trap sprang free. And the word clicked through me.
Mate.
“What did you say?”
The Suriel rose to its full height, towering over me even from across the
clearing. I had not realized that despite the bone, it was muscled—
powerful.
“If you wish to … ” The Suriel paused, and grinned, showing nearly all
of those brown, thick teeth. “You did not know, then.”
“Say it,” I gritted out.
“The High Lord of the Night Court is your mate.”
I wasn’t entirely sure I was breathing.
“Interesting,” the Suriel said.
Mate.
Mate.
Mate.
Rhysand was my mate.
Not lover, not husband, but more than that. A bond so deep, so
permanent that it was honored over all others. Rare, cherished.
Not Tamlin’s mate.
Rhysand’s.
I was jealous, and pissed off …
You’re mine.
The words slipped out of me, low and twisted, “Does he know?”
The Suriel clenched the robes of its new cloak in its bone-fingers. “Yes.”
“For a long while?”
“Yes. Since—”
“No. He can tell me—I want to hear it from his lips.”
The Suriel cocked its head. “You are—you are feeling too much, too fast.
I cannot read it.”
“How can I possibly be his mate?” Mates were equals—matched, at least
in some ways.
“He is the most powerful High Lord to ever walk this earth. You are …
new. You are made of all seven High Lords. Unlike anything. Are you two
not similar in that? Are you not matched?”
Mate. And he knew—he’d known.
I glanced toward the river, as if I could see all the way to the cave, to
where Rhysand slept.
When I looked back at the Suriel, it was gone.
I found the pink weed, and ripped it out of the ground as I stalked back to
the cave.
Mercifully, Rhys was half-awake, the layers I’d thrown on him now
scattered across the blanket, and he gave me a strained smile as I entered.
I chucked the weed at him, showering his bare chest with soil. “Chew on
that.”
He blinked blearily at me.
Mate.
But he obeyed, frowning at the plant before he plucked off a few leaves
and started chewing. He grimaced as he swallowed. I tore off my jacket,
shoved up my sleeve, and strode to him. He’d known, and kept it from me.
Had the others known? Had they guessed?
He’d—he’d promised not to lie, not to keep things from me.
And this—this most important thing in my immortal existence …
I drew a dagger across my forearm, the cut long and deep, and dropped to
my knees before him. I didn’t feel the pain. “Drink this. Now.”
Rhys blinked again, brows raising, but I didn’t give him the chance to
object before I gripped the back of his head, lifted my arm to his mouth, and
shoved him against my skin.
He paused as my blood touched his lips. Then his mouth opened wider,
his tongue brushing my arm as he sucked in my blood. One mouthful. Two.
Three.
I yanked back my arm, the wound already healing, and shoved down my
sleeve.
“You don’t get to ask questions,” I said, and he looked up at me,
exhaustion and pain lining his face, my blood shining on his lips. Part of me
hated the words, for acting like this while he was wounded, but I didn’t
care. “You only get to answer them. And nothing more.”
Wariness flooded his eyes, but he nodded, biting off another mouthful of
the weed and chewing.
I stared down at him, the half-Illyrian warrior who was my soul-bonded
partner.
“How long have you known that I’m your mate?”
Rhys stilled. The entire world stilled.
He swallowed. “Feyre.”
“How long have you known that I’m your mate?”
“You … You ensnared the Suriel?” How he’d pieced it together, I didn’t
give a shit.
“I said you don’t get to ask questions.”
I thought something like panic might have flashed over his features. He
chewed again on the plant—as if it instantly helped, as if he knew that he
wanted to be at his full strength to face this, face me. Color was already
blooming on his cheeks, perhaps from whatever healing was in my blood.
“I suspected for a while,” Rhys said, swallowing once more. “I knew for
certain when Amarantha was killing you. And when we stood on the
balcony Under the Mountain—right after we were freed, I felt it snap into
place between us. I think when you were Made, it … it heightened the smell
of the bond. I looked at you then and the strength of it hit me like a blow.”
He’d gone wide-eyed, had stumbled back as if shocked—terrified. And
had vanished.
That had been over half a year ago.
My blood pounded in my ears. “When were you going to tell me?”
“Feyre.”
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to yesterday. Or whenever you’d noticed that it
wasn’t just a bargain between us. I hoped you might realize when I took
you to bed, and—”
“Do the others know?”
“Amren and Mor do. Azriel and Cassian suspect.”
My face burned. They knew—they— “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were in love with him; you were going to marry him. And then you
… you were enduring everything and it didn’t feel right to tell you.”
“I deserved to know.”
“The other night you told me you wanted a distraction, you wanted fun.
Not a mating bond. And not to someone like me—a mess.” So the words
I’d spat after the Court of Nightmares had haunted him.
“You promised—you promised no secrets, no games. You promised.”
Something in my chest was caving in on itself. Some part of me I’d
thought long gone.
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