Ballad: The Captain And The Mermaids

In the sea-bound leg­end of Cap­tain Capel Cleg­gs, our tale unfolds with a vignette of mar­itime adven­ture and whim­si­cal enchant­ment. Cap­tain Cleg­gs, a man of moral stature if not of notable height, would often bask in the sea air by an open port, show­cas­ing his well-formed legs, a sight so rare and cap­ti­vat­ing that it drew the atten­tion of mer­maid throngs. These sea maid­ens, unac­cus­tomed to the sight of human legs, mar­veled at Cleggs’s limbs, con­sid­er­ing them supe­ri­or in beau­ty and ele­gance to any merman’s tail.

This dai­ly assem­bly did­n’t sit well with the mer­men, who ini­tial­ly dis­missed the spec­ta­cle with scorn. How­ev­er, as time passed, jeal­ousy took root, prompt­ing them to emu­late the cap­tain by attempt­ing to clothe their tails in silken gar­ments, akin to the fine hose and smalls worn by Cleg­gs. Their efforts, how­ev­er, were met with frus­tra­tion and dis­com­fort, as the del­i­cate fab­ric clashed with their scaly tails, caus­ing dam­age and dis­con­tent among their ranks.

In a des­per­ate bid to regain their dig­ni­ty and the mer­maids’ admi­ra­tion, the mer­men devised a plan, dis­patch­ing their most charm­ing envoy with a note for Cap­tain Cleg­gs. The mes­sage, sent from their monarch, aimed to address this pecu­liar and esca­lat­ing sit­u­a­tion born out of admi­ra­tion for the cap­tain’s legs and the sub­se­quent envy it spurred among the sea’s male inhab­i­tants.

The bal­lad, steeped in humor and the fan­tas­ti­cal, paints a vivid pic­ture of life at sea, where human and myth­i­cal sea crea­tures inter­act in unex­pect­ed and amus­ing ways. Cap­tain Cleg­gs’s unwit­ting allure and the lengths to which the mer­men go to repli­cate his esteemed appear­ance speak to themes of admi­ra­tion, emu­la­tion, and the some­times-com­i­cal out­comes of envy. Through this engag­ing nar­ra­tive, the poem offers a light-heart­ed reflec­tion on the nature of attrac­tion and the com­plex­i­ties of inter-species rela­tions beneath the ocean’s sur­face.