November 2, 2010—I knew we were headed for a bad night. I watched the returns
come in from the Treaty Room, my usual election-night perch, Valerie and Axe and
Gibbs with me. It was not the bloodbath that some had predicted—thank you,
consistency!—but as the evening wore on, it was clear that we were losing the House
of Representatives. By the time I went to bed, Republicans had picked up at least sixty-
three seats, more than enough for a majority.
To say I was discouraged would be an understatement. Yes, we had managed to hold
on to the Senate, but just barely, losing six seats to end up with a slim fifty-three-to-
forty-seven majority. And while we’d picked up a few governorships in key states, the
Republicans’ gains were widespread and deep, giving them full control of at least
twenty-one state legislatures.
As I lay awake in the early hours of November 3, running through what I could
have done differently, what my administration might have accomplished if we’d had
two more years with Democrats in control of Congress—how much more difficult it
was going to be to move any part of our agenda forward—I couldn’t shake the feeling
that I had let down millions of Americans who had invested their hopes in me. And
there was no getting around the harsh truth: With Republicans now running the House,
and their leaders apparently determined to oppose and obstruct our ideas at every turn,
it was going to be a long, tough slog to the end of my first term.
The next day, I stood before the cameras in the East Room to address the election
results. Reporters seemed to take satisfaction in pointing out that we’d experienced a
“shellacking.” I didn’t blame them; that’s how it felt to me too. I acknowledged the
anger and frustration that voters had expressed, and I took responsibility for not doing
a good enough job in delivering the changes they had hoped for. I spoke about the
need for both parties to find common ground, to work together in the best interests of
the American people.
It all sounded reasonable enough. Yet as I fielded questions, I had to work not to let
my frustration show. Not just with the inane premise of so many questions being hurled
at me—that somehow this election had been a referendum on Big Government, when
it was clear to anyone who had followed these past two years closely that our biggest
problem hadn’t been an overabundance of government activism but rather our inability
to do more to directly help ordinary people—but also with myself, for all the
opportunities I felt I had squandered and all the political capital I had let slip away in
the afterglow of our election, for how slow I had been to adjust to the pace of change in
this hyperconnected, hyperpolarized climate. I felt as if I had reached a dead end,
without a clear sense of how to move forward.
“No drama Obama,” Axe would remind me whenever he saw me brooding
following a setback. True to form, by the time I’d retreated to the Oval after the press
conference, I had started to regain my equilibrium. Maybe we’d lost the House, but we
still had the Senate; maybe progress would be slower than I would have liked, but there
was still plenty that could get done—an immigration bill, perhaps, or a modest
infrastructure program. Who knew? Maybe there were enough Republicans who, now
that they shared governing responsibilities, would be more willing to bargain.
More than anything, though, looking out the Oval’s windows onto the sunlit South
Lawn, what consoled me was something Michelle had said to me not long after the
election results had come in. It was what I always tell myself whenever life around the
White House starts feeling a bit too heavy.
“For better or worse,” she’d said, taking my hand, her eyes bright and teasing, “we
still have each other.”
Michelle always knows just what to say.
Chapter 23 sees the protagonist, Feyre, spending an idyllic afternoon in a lush, natural glen alongside Tamlin, far removed from the magical wonders that usually define his enchanted forest. Unlike the mystical spectacles they’ve encountered before, this setting is simple yet serene, watched over by a willow tree whose branches softly sing in the breeze—a feature Feyre initially cannot perceive due to her human senses.
Tamlin, the High Lord, reveals that he can grant Feyre the ability to experience the world as the Fae do—to see, hear, smell, and taste it in all its magical complexity. The price for such a gift, however, is a kiss. Feyre reluctantly agrees, driven by a mix of curiosity and the burgeoning connection between her and Tamlin. Upon receiving the kisses on her eyelids, the world around her transforms, revealing its true magical essence in a symphony of sounds, sights, and scents that leave her awestruck. The brook in their vicinity shimmers with rainbow hues, the trees glow with an inner light, and the magic in the air is as tangible as the scent of flowers.
This experience also changes her perception of Tamlin. Once the glamour cloaking his true form is temporarily lifted, she sees him not just as the High Lord he is but as the epitome of Fae beauty and power, his appearance a dazzling array of colors and golden light. His mask, however, remains immutable, a symbol of the curse that binds him and a barrier that Feyre wishes to overcome, not just to satisfy her curiosity but to deepen the connection they share.
The chapter concludes with a gentle moment of camaraderie and budding intimacy between Feyre and Tamlin, punctuated by a humorously executed promise for a kiss, which Feyre playfully delivers on the back of Tamlin’s hand. As the day fades, Tamlin’s laughter blends with the natural harmony around them, luring Feyre into a peaceful slumber in the idyllic glen, her rest safeguarded by the High Lord’s presence.
This segment beautifully melds elements of whimsy, romance, and a deeper, almost spiritual connection with the natural world, underscoring the evolving relationship between Feyre and Tamlin. Through their interactions and the magical revelations Feyre experiences, the chapter vividly portrays the wonder of the Fae realm and the complexities of Feyre’s journey in it, both in terms of her personal growth and her deepening bond with Tamlin.
In the midst of escalating tensions in Baileyville, the small town turns into a battleground divided by the imminent trial of Margery O’Hare, accused of a grave crime. The presence of McCullough’s extended family and growing public unrest exacerbate the situation, creating an environment of hostility towards Margery and those associated with the Packhorse Library. Amidst this turmoil, personal conflicts and allegiances emerge starkly. Fred’s protective stance, Sven’s departure to a life of solitude, and Alice’s plans to return to England reflect the deep emotional toll the controversy takes on them.
Alice, preparing for her departure, segregates her belongings, symbolically distancing herself from her past life and the souring reality in Baileyville. The library, serving as a haven for the women, becomes the scene of Alice’s announcement of her departure, stirring a mix of disbelief and concern among the group. The librarians’ solidarity is tested as they navigate their personal despair and the societal backlash against their mission.
As the trial looms, Baileyville descends further into chaos, marked by inflammatory journalism, public demonstrations, and a palpable sense of injustice. Unexpectedly, the town’s divisive mood culminates outside the jailhouse, where Margery is being held. In a moment of profound unity and defiance, Izzy Brady, supported by her colleagues and town residents, confronts the mob with a hymn. Their collective singing acts as a powerful rebuke to the hatred and a poignant affirmation of their community’s resilience.
This chapter poignantly captures the transformative power of solidarity in the face of adversity. The public’s initial animosity is starkly contrasted with the librarians’ and their allies’ courage to stand up for their convictions. Through their actions, they not only challenge societal norms but also sow the seeds of change in Baileyville’s collective conscience. Margery, in her darkest hour, is given a glimmer of hope through their defiant act of kindness, illustrating the enduring strength of the human spirit.
You are being provided with a book chapter by chapter. I will request you to read the book for me after each chapter. After reading the chapter, 1. shorten the chapter to no less than 300 words and no more than 400 words. 2. Do not change the name, address, or any important nouns in the chapter. 3. Do not translate the original language. 4. Keep the same style as the original chapter, keep it consistent throughout the chapter. Your reply must comply with all four requirements, or it’s invalid.
I will provide the chapter now.
TWENTY-THREE
On Sunday afternoon, I get two pieces of good news:
First, Andrew managed to refund the tickets and I won’t have to work
for free.
Second, Cecelia is going to be gone for two whole weeks.
I’m not sure which of these revelations I’m happier about. I’m glad I
don’t have to shell out money for the tickets. But I’m even happier that I
don’t have to wait on Cecelia anymore. The apple doesn’t fall far from the
tree with that one.
Cecelia has packed enough luggage to last her at least one year. I swear
to God, it’s like she’s put everything she owns in those bags, and then if
there was any space left, she filled it with rocks. That’s how it feels as I’m
carrying the bags out to Nina’s Lexus.
“Please be careful with that, Millie.” Nina watches me fretfully as I
summon superhuman strength to lift the bags into her trunk. My palms are
bright red from where I was holding the straps. “Please don’t break
anything.”
What could Cecelia possibly be carrying to camp that’s so fragile?
Don’t they mostly just bring clothing and books and bug spray? But far be it
from me to question her. “Sorry.”
When I get back in the house to retrieve the last of Cecelia’s bags, I
catch Andrew jogging down the stairs. He catches me about to lift the
monstrous piece of luggage and his eyes widen.
“Hey,” he says. “I’ll carry that for you. That looks really heavy.”
“I’m fine,” I insist, only because Nina is coming out of the garage.
“Yes, she’s got it, Andy.” Nina wags a finger. “You need to be careful
about your bad back.”
He shoots her a look. “My back is fine. Anyway, I want to say goodbye
to Cece.”
Nina pulls a face. “Are you sure you won’t come with us?”
“I wish I could,” he says. “But I can’t miss an entire day of work
tomorrow. I’ve got meetings in the afternoon.”
She sniffs. “You always put work first.”
He grimaces. I don’t blame him for being hurt by her comment—as far
as I can tell, it’s completely untrue. Despite being a successful businessman,
Andrew is home every single night for dinner. He does occasionally go to
work on the weekends, but he’s also attended two dance recitals this month,
one piano recital, a fourth-grade graduation ceremony, a karate
demonstration, and one night they were gone for hours for some sort of art
show at the day school.
“I’m sorry,” he says anyway.
She sniffs again and turns her head. Andrew reaches out to touch her
arm, but she jerks it away and dashes to the kitchen to get her purse.
Instead, he heaves the last piece of luggage into his arms and goes out to
the garage to dump it in the trunk and say goodbye to Cecelia, who is sitting
in Nina’s snow-colored Lexus, wearing a lacy white dress that is wildly
inappropriate for summer camp. Not that I would ever say anything.
Two whole weeks without that little monster. I want to jump with joy.
But instead, I turn my lips down. “It will be sad without Cecelia here this
month,” I say as Nina comes back out of the kitchen.
“Really?” she says dryly. “I thought you couldn’t stand her.”
My jaw drops open. I mean, yes, she’s right that Cecelia and I have not
hit it off. But I didn’t realize she knew I felt that way. If she knows that,
does she realize I’m not a big fan of Nina herself either?
Nina smooths down her white blouse and goes back out to the garage.
As soon as she leaves the room, it’s like all the tension has been sucked out
of me. I always feel on edge when Nina is around. It’s like she’s dissecting
everything I do.
Andrew emerges from the garage, wiping his hands on his jeans. I love
how he wears a T‑shirt and jeans on the weekends. I love the way his hair
gets tousled when he’s doing physical activity. I love the way he smiles and
winks at me.
I wonder if he feels the same way I do about Nina leaving.
“So,” he says, “now that Nina is gone, I have a confession to make.”
“Oh?”
A confession? I’m madly in love with you. I’m going to leave Nina so
we can run off together to Aruba.
Nah, not too likely.
“I couldn’t get a refund on those show tickets.” He hangs his head. “I
didn’t want Nina to give you a hard time over it. Or try to charge you, for
Christ’s sake. I’m sure she was the one who told you the wrong date.”
I nod slowly. “Yes, she did, but… Well, anyway, thank you. I appreciate
it.”
“So… I mean, you should take the tickets. Go to the city tonight and see
the show with a friend. And you can stay at The Plaza hotel room
overnight.”
I almost gasp. “That’s so generous.”
The right side of his lips quirks up. “Well, we’ve got the tickets. Why
should they go to waste? Enjoy it.”
“Yeah…” I toy with the hem of my T‑shirt, thinking. I can’t imagine
what Nina would say if she found out. And I have to admit, just the thought
of going gives me anxiety. “I appreciate the gesture, but I’ll pass on the
show.”
“Really? This is supposed to be the best show of the decade! You don’t
like going to shows on Broadway?”
He has no idea about my life—what I’ve been doing for the last decade.
“I’ve never even been to a show on Broadway.”
“Then you need to go! I insist!”
“Right, but…” I take a deep breath. “The truth is, I don’t have anyone to
go with. And I don’t feel like going alone. So like I said, I’ll pass.”
Andrew stares at me for a moment, rubbing his finger against the slight
stubble on his jaw. Finally, he says, “I’ll go with you.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
He hesitates. “I know Nina has jealousy issues, but that’s no reason to
let these expensive tickets go to waste. And it’s a crime you’ve never seen a
show on Broadway before. It’ll be fun.”
Yes, it will be fun. That’s what I’m worried about, damn it.
I imagine my evening unfolding. Driving out to Manhattan in Andrew’s
BMW, sitting in the orchestra for one of the hottest shows on Broadway,
You are being provided with a book chapter by chapter. I will request you to read the book for me after each chapter. After reading the chapter, 1. shorten the chapter to no less than 300 words and no more than 400 words. 2. Do not change the name, address, or any important nouns in the chapter. 3. Do not translate the original language. 4. Keep the same style as the original chapter, keep it consistent throughout the chapter. Your reply must comply with all four requirements, or it’s invalid.
I will provide the chapter now.
CHAPTER
23
It had been a year since I had stalked through that labyrinth of snow and ice
and killed a faerie with hate in my heart.
My family’s emerald-roofed estate was as lovely at the end of winter as it
had been in the summer. A different sort of beauty, though—the pale marble
seemed warm against the stark snow piled high across the land, and bits of
evergreen and holly adorned the windows, the archways, and the lampposts.
The only bit of decoration, of celebration, humans bothered with. Not when
they’d banned and condemned every holiday after the War, all a reminder of
their immortal overseers.
Three months with Amarantha had destroyed me. I couldn’t begin to
imagine what millennia with High Fae like her might do—the scars it’d
leave on a culture, a people.
My people—or so they had once been.
Hood up, fingers tucked into the fur-lined pockets of my cloak, I stood
before the double doors of the house, listening to the clear ringing of the
bell I’d pulled a heartbeat before.
Behind me, hidden by Rhys’s glamours, my three companions waited,
unseen.
I’d told them it would be best if I spoke to my family first. Alone.
I shivered, craving the moderate winter of Velaris, wondering how it
could be so temperate in the far north, but … everything in Prythian was
strange. Perhaps when the wall hadn’t existed, when magic had flowed
freely between realms, the seasonal differences hadn’t been so vast.
The door opened, and a merry-faced, round housekeeper—Mrs. Laurent,
I recalled—squinted at me. “May I help … ” The words trailed off as she
noticed my face.
With the hood on, my ears and crown were hidden, but that glow, that
preternatural stillness … She didn’t open the door wider.
“I’m here to see my family,” I choked out.
“Your—your father is away on business, but your sisters … ” She didn’t
move.
She knew. She could tell there was something different, something off—
Her eyes darted around me. No carriage, no horse.
No footprints through the snow.
Her face blanched, and I cursed myself for not thinking of it—
“Mrs. Laurent?”
Something in my chest broke at Elain’s voice from the hall behind her.
At the sweetness and youth and kindness, untouched by Prythian,
unaware of what I’d done, become—
I backed away a step. I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t bring this upon them.
Then Elain’s face appeared over Mrs. Laurent’s round shoulder.
Beautiful—she’d always been the most beautiful of us. Soft and lovely,
like a summer dawn.
Elain was exactly as I’d remembered her, the way I’d made myself
remember her in those dungeons, when I told myself that if I failed, if
Amarantha crossed the wall, she’d be next. The way she’d be next if the
King of Hybern shattered the wall, if I didn’t get the Book of Breathings.
Elain’s golden-brown hair was half up, her pale skin creamy and flushed
with color, and her eyes, like molten chocolate, were wide as they took me
in.
They filled with tears and silently overran, spilling down those lovely
cheeks.
Mrs. Laurent didn’t yield an inch. She’d shut this door in my face the
moment I so much as breathed wrong.
Elain lifted a slender hand to her mouth as her body shook with a sob.
“Elain,” I said hoarsely.
Footsteps on the sweeping stairs behind them, then—
“Mrs. Laurent, draw up some tea and bring it to the drawing room.”
The housekeeper looked to the stairs, then to Elain, then to me.
A phantom in the snow.
The woman merely gave me a look that promised death if I harmed my
sisters as she turned into the house, leaving me before Elain, still quietly
crying.
But I took a step over the threshold and looked up the staircase.
To where Nesta stood, a hand braced on the rail, staring as if I were a
ghost.
The house was beautiful, but there was something untouched about it.
Something new, compared to the age and worn love of Rhys’s homes in
Velaris.
And seated before the carved marble sitting room hearth, my hood on,
hands outstretched toward the roaring fire, I felt … felt like they had let in a
wolf.
A wraith.
I had become too big for these rooms, for this fragile mortal life, too
stained and wild and … powerful. And I was about to bring that
permanently into their lives as well.
Where Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel were, I didn’t know. Perhaps they stood
as shadows in the corner, watching. Perhaps they’d remained outside in the
snow. I wouldn’t put it past Cassian and Azriel to be now flying the
grounds, inspecting the layout, making wider circles until they reached the
village, my ramshackle old cottage, or maybe even the forest itself.
Nesta looked the same. But older. Not in her face, which was as grave
and stunning as before, but … in her eyes, in the way she carried herself.
Seated across from me on a small sofa, my sisters stared—and waited.
I said, “Where is Father?” It felt like the only safe thing to say.
“In Neva,” Nesta said, naming one of the largest cities on the continent.
“Trading with some merchants from the other half of the world. And
attending a summit about the threat above the wall. A threat I wonder if
you’ve come back to warn us about.”
No words of relief, of love—never from her.
Elain lifted her teacup. “Whatever the reason, Feyre, we are happy to see
you. Alive. We thought you were—”
I pulled my hood back before she could go on.
Elain’s teacup rattled in its saucer as she noticed my ears. My longer,
slender hands—the face that was undeniably Fae.
“I was dead,” I said roughly. “I was dead, and then I was reborn—
remade.”
Elain set her shivering teacup onto the low-lying table between us.
Amber liquid splashed over the side, pooling in the saucer.
And as she moved, Nesta angled herself—ever so slightly. Between me
and Elain.
It was Nesta’s gaze I held as I said, “I need you to listen.”
They were both wide-eyed.
But they did.
I told them my story. In as much detail as I could endure, I told them of
Under the Mountain. Of my trials. And Amarantha. I told them about death.
And rebirth.
Explaining the last few months, however, was harder.
So I kept it brief.
But I explained what needed to happen here—the threat Hybern posed. I
explained what this house needed to be, what we needed to be, and what I
needed from them.
And when I finished, they remained wide-eyed. Silent.
It was Elain who at last said, “You—you want other High Fae to come …
here. And … and the Queens of the Realm.”
I nodded slowly.
“Find somewhere else,” Nesta said.
I turned to her, already pleading, bracing for a fight.
“Find somewhere else,” Nesta said again, straight-backed. “I don’t want
them in my house. Or near Elain.”
“Nesta, please,” I breathed. “There is nowhere else; nowhere I can go
without someone hunting me, crucifying me—”
“And what of us? When the people around here learn we’re Fae
sympathizers? Are we any better than the Children of the Blessed, then?
Any standing, any influence we have—gone. And Elain’s wedding—”
“Wedding,” I blurted.
I hadn’t noticed the pearl-and-diamond ring on her finger, the dark metal
band glinting in the firelight.
Elain’s face was pale, though, as she looked at it.
“In five months,” Nesta said. “She’s marrying a lord’s son. And his father
has devoted his life to hunting down your kind when they cross the wall.”
Your kind.
“So there will be no meeting here,” Nesta said, shoulders stiff. “There
will be no Fae in this house.”
“Do you include me in that declaration?” I said quietly.
Nesta’s silence was answer enough.
But Elain said, “Nesta.”
Slowly, my eldest sister looked at her.
“Nesta,” Elain said again, twisting her hands. “If … if we do not help
Feyre, there won’t be a wedding. Even Lord Nolan’s battlements and all his
men, couldn’t save me from … from them.” Nesta didn’t so much as flinch.
Elain pushed, “We keep it secret—we send the servants away. With the
spring approaching, they’ll be glad to go home. And if Feyre needs to be in
and out for meetings, she’ll send word ahead, and we’ll clear them out.
Make up excuses to send them on holidays. Father won’t be back until the
summer, anyway. No one will know.” She put a hand on Nesta’s knee, the
purple of my sister’s gown nearly swallowing up the ivory hand. “Feyre
gave and gave—for years. Let us now help her. Help … others.”
My throat was tight, and my eyes burned.
Nesta studied the dark ring on Elain’s finger, the way she still seemed to
cradle it. A lady—that’s what Elain would become. What she was risking
for this.
I met Nesta’s gaze. “There is no other way.”
Her chin lifted slightly. “We’ll send the servants away tomorrow.”
“Today,” I pushed. “We don’t have any time to lose. Order them to leave
now.”
“I’ll do it,” Elain said, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders.
She didn’t wait for either of us before she strode out, graceful as a doe.
Alone with Nesta, I said, “Is he good—the lord’s son she’s to marry?”
“She thinks he is. She loves him like he is.”
“And what do you think?”
Nesta’s eyes—my eyes, our mother’s eyes—met mine. “His father built a
wall of stone around their estate so high even the trees can’t reach over it. I
think it looks like a prison.”
“Have you said anything to her?”
You are being provided with a book chapter by chapter. I will request you to read the book for me after each chapter. After reading the chapter, 1. shorten the chapter to no less than 300 words and no more than 400 words. 2. Do not change the name, address, or any important nouns in the chapter. 3. Do not translate the original language. 4. Keep the same style as the original chapter, keep it consistent throughout the chapter. Your reply must comply with all four requirements, or it’s invalid.
I will provide the chapter now.
W HEN I WALK INTO EVELYN’S office the next morning, I’m so
nervous that my back is sweating and a shallow pool is forming along
my spine.
Grace puts down a charcuterie platter, and I can’t stop staring at the
cornichons as Evelyn and Grace are talking about Lisbon in the
summer.
The moment Grace is gone, I turn to Evelyn.
“We need to talk,” I say.
She laughs. “Honestly, I feel like that’s all we do.”
“About Vivant, I mean.”
“OK,” she says. “Talk.”
“I need to know some sort of timeline for when this book might be
released.” I wait for Evelyn to respond. I wait for her to give me
something, anything, resembling an answer.
“I’m listening,” she says.
“If you don’t tell me when this book could realistically be sold, then
I’m running the risk of losing my job for something that might be
years away. Decades, even.”
“You certainly have high hopes for my life span.”
“Evelyn,” I say, somewhat discouraged that she still isn’t taking this
seriously. “I either need to know when this is coming out or I need to
promise Vivant an excerpt of it for the June issue.”
Evelyn thinks. She is sitting cross-legged on the sofa opposite me,
in slim black jersey pants, a gray shell tank, and an oversized white
cardigan. “OK,” she says, nodding. “You can give them a piece of it—
whatever piece you like—for the June issue. If, and only if, you shut up
about this timeline business.”
I don’t let my joy show on my face. I’m halfway there. I can’t rest
until I’m done. I have to push her. I have to ask and be willing to be
told no. I have to know my worth.
After all, Evelyn wants something from me. She needs me. I don’t
know why or what for, but I know I wouldn’t be sitting here if that
weren’t the case. I have value to her. I know that. And now I have to
use it. Just as she would if she were me.
So here we go.
“You need to sit for a photo shoot. For the cover.”
“No.”
“It’s nonnegotiable.”
“Everything is negotiable. Haven’t you gotten enough? I’ve agreed
to the excerpt.”
“You and I both know how valuable new images of you would be.”
“I said no.”
OK. Here we go. I can do this. I just have to do what Evelyn would
do. I have to “Evelyn Hugo” Evelyn Hugo. “You agree to the cover
photo, or I’m out.”
Evelyn sits forward in her chair. “Excuse me?”
“You want me to write your life story. I want to write your life story.
But these are my terms. I’m not going to lose my job for you. And the
way I keep my job is I deliver an Evelyn Hugo feature with a cover. So
you either persuade me to lose my job over this—which is only
possible if you tell me when this book is being sold—or you do this.
Those are your options.”
Evelyn looks at me, and I get the impression that I am more than
she bargained for. And I feel good about that. There’s a smile forming
that is hard to keep in.
“You’re having fun with this, aren’t you?” she says.
“I’m trying to protect my interests.”
“Yes, but you’re also good at it, and I think you’re delighting in it a
bit.”
I finally let the smile out. “I’m learning from the best.”
“Yes, you are,” Evelyn says. She scrunches her nose. “A cover?”
“A cover.”
You are being provided with a book chapter by chapter. I will request you to read the book for me after each chapter. After reading the chapter, 1. shorten the chapter to no less than 300 words and no more than 400 words. 2. Do not change the name, address, or any important nouns in the chapter. 3. Do not translate the original language. 4. Keep the same style as the original chapter, keep it consistent throughout the chapter. Your reply must comply with all four requirements, or it’s invalid.
I will provide the chapter now.
23
When I married Kevin, I meant it with all my heart. If you look into my eyes in
my wedding photos, you can see it: I was so in love and so ready for a new phase
of my life to start. I wanted babies with this man. I wanted a cozy home. I
wanted to grow old with him.
My lawyer told me that if I didn’t �le for divorce, Kevin would. What I
gathered from this was that Kevin wanted to �le for divorce but he felt guilty
doing it. He knew that it would make him look better publicly if I was the one
who �led. My lawyer told me that Kevin was going to �le for divorce no matter
what. I was led to believe that it would be better if I did it �rst so that I wasn’t
humiliated.
I didn’t want to be embarrassed, so in early November 2006, when Jayden
was almost two months old, I �led the papers. Kevin and I both asked for full
custody of the boys. What I did not understand was that Kevin would then
insist I pay for his legal bills. And because legally, I had set the divorce in motion,
I would be held responsible in the press for having broken up my young family.
The media attention was crazy. It was probably good for Kevin’s album,
which came out a week before we announced our divorce, but I was vili�ed.
Some people tried to be supportive—but in the press, they often did this by
being cruel toward Kevin, which actually wasn’t that helpful.
Later that month, I presented at the American Music Awards. As I waited to
go out onstage, Jimmy Kimmel delivered a monologue and skit about Kevin,
who he called “the world’s �rst-ever no-hit wonder.” They sealed a stand-in into
a crate and put it on a truck and dumped it into the ocean.
But this was the father of my two infant sons. I found the violence toward
him unsettling. The whole audience was laughing. I hadn’t known that was
You are being provided with a book chapter by chapter. I will request you to read the book for me after each chapter. After reading the chapter, 1. shorten the chapter to no less than 300 words and no more than 400 words. 2. Do not change the name, address, or any important nouns in the chapter. 3. Do not translate the original language. 4. Keep the same style as the original chapter, keep it consistent throughout the chapter. Your reply must comply with all four requirements, or it’s invalid.
I will provide the chapter now.
23
“Girl, I swear you’ve gotten even skinnier!”
Emily is smiling as she says it to me, and I think it’s a compliment, but I can barely make myself
smile back at her. We’re standing in the open courtyard of the First Methodist Church, people milling
all around us, and I’m too aware of both how hot the evening is—even though the sun is going down
—and also how wrong my outfit is.
In my defense, I had no idea what the fuck one was supposed to wear to a silent auction at a
church on a Wednesday night, and black had seemed a safe choice—sophisticated, respectable. But
all the other women are in bright colors, flower prints, that kind of thing, and I feel like a crow
standing around a bunch of flamingos.
Eddie must’ve known it was wrong, but he hadn’t said anything, and I fight the urge to glare at his
back as he stands there, talking to the reverend.
Now I smooth my dress over my thighs and say, “Pre-wedding jitters,” to Emily, who nods and
pats my arm sympathetically.
“You’re lucky. When I got married to Saul, my stress response was to eat everything in sight.”
Her husband is over near a giant azalea bush, chatting with Campbell’s husband, Mark, and
Caroline’s husband, Matt.
I realize that I hardly ever see Eddie with those guys, and that he never mentions them. Did the
neighborhood pull back from him after everything with Bea and Blanche, or does he find these people
as insufferable as I do?
Okay, they’re not all bad. Emily is actually nice, steering me around groups of people, introducing
me as Eddie’s fiancée and never once mentioning the dog-walker thing.
It almost makes me feel sorry for all the shit I stole from her.
The auction items are inside the church’s Family Life Center, but despite the heat, everyone is
congregating out here in the courtyard, probably because it’s so pretty and lush.
Maybe we should get married here instead of eloping after all.
But then thinking about the wedding is too hard when Eddie is barely speaking to me.
It’s been two nights since our fight in the bathroom, two nights of Eddie sleeping god knows
where in the house, of him leaving for work early and coming home late.
The worst part is that I’ve been relieved he’s been gone so much. It’s easier with him not there,
without looking at him every second, wondering if that flash of hardness, coldness will come back.
The number he gave me is still in my purse. I’ll never call it, but I want it there as a reminder of
how badly I almost fucked up, how little I even really know about Eddie.
But here we are at the church’s little party, mingling in a garden, drinking lemonade because even
though the Methodists aren’t the Baptists, no one wants an open bar in front of Jesus, I guess, and I’m
just about to get another glass of the lemonade when Caroline approaches us, her blond hair swinging
over her shoulders.
“Holy shit,” she breathes, surprising me because I’ve never heard her curse before and also,
Jesus. I’m going to hell for all kinds of things, but even I manage to keep it PG at church.
She clutches my arm, her nails digging in. “Tripp Ingraham has been arrested.”
That last word is hissed in a whisper, but it doesn’t matter. I see other people looking over at us,
and Emily already has her phone out, frowning at the screen.
Eddie is still talking to the reverend, and my insides feel frozen, my feet locked to the soft grass
beneath my too-tight heels.
“What?” I finally say, and she glances behind her at her husband.
“Matt just got a text from his friend in the DA’s office. Apparently, they found something when
they did the autopsy? Or something in the house? I don’t know, but I texted Alison who lives on his
street, and she said a cop car full-on showed up and took him away in handcuffs.”
Now Emily is glancing over at me, and I can see little groups start to form, practically watch as
the gossip moves through the gathering, all thoughts of fundraising replaced with this, the biggest story
to hit this neighborhood since Bea and Blanche died, I’d guess.
When I turn toward Eddie, he’s staring at me. And even across the courtyard I can see it in his
eyes.
He’s relieved.
The house is dark and quiet as we walk in, both of us absorbed in our own thoughts.
When I tell Eddie I’m going to take a shower, I wait for some of this old spark to come back, for a
sly grin and an offer to join me.
Instead, I get a distracted nod as he keeps scrolling through his phone. He’d barely spoken on the
car ride home, just confirming that yes, he’d heard the same thing, that they’d arrested Tripp; yes, it
had something to do with the night Bea and Blanche died; no, he didn’t know what the actual charges
were.
In the master bathroom, I step out of my dress, letting it pool there on the marble floor, not
bothering to hang it up. I probably won’t wear it again anyway.
The water is scalding hot, which feels good after the weird chill I experienced on the way home,
and I when I step back out of the shower, the room is filled with steam.
Wrapping myself in a towel, I walk to the mirror, wiping the steam off with one hand.
My face stares back, plain and starkly pale, my hair wet and shoved back from my face.
You’re fine, I tell myself. You’re safe. It was Tripp the whole time because of course it was.
But that doesn’t really make me feel better, and I’m frowning at my reflection when Eddie steps
into the bathroom.
He shucks his clothes easily, and I can’t help but watch him in the mirror. He’s so beautiful, so
perfectly male, but I feel no surge of desire when I look at him, and he’s not meeting my eyes.
I take my robe from the hook near the door, wrapping it around me as he showers, and then I sit on
the little tufted bench in front of the vanity, combing out my hair for much longer than I need to.
I’m waiting.
Finally, the water shuts off and Eddie steps out, wrapping a towel around his waist as I fumble in
a drawer for the expensive moisturizer I bought the other day.
“The other night. When we argued. Were you scared of me?”
I sit very still there at the bathroom counter, watching him in the mirror. He’s got a towel around
his waist, water still drying on his skin, his hair slicked back from his face, and there’s something
about the way he’s looking at me that I don’t like.
“Did you think it was me? That I killed them?”
I blink, trying to recalibrate, trying to get this back on track. “The last few weeks have just been a
lot,” I finally say, adding a little tremor to my voice for effect. “Everything was finally so perfect, and
we were so happy, and then…”
“And then you thought I murdered my wife and her best friend,” he says, relentless, and my head
snaps up.
This isn’t how this is supposed to go. He’s supposed to feel sorry for snapping at me, for even
suggesting I thought such a thing.
But he’s still watching me, arms folded over his chest, and since the lowered lashes and
tremulous voice aren’t working, I turn and meet his eyes.
“Yes,” I say, and honestly, it feels kind of good to tell the truth. “I did. Or I thought you may have
done it.”
He blows out a long breath, tilting his head up to look at the ceiling before saying, “Well. At least
you’re honest.”
I step forward, curling my hands around his wrists and pulling his arms down. “But I was wrong,”
I insist. “Obviously. And I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m so sorry.”
And the thing is, I am sorry. I’m sorry I ever thought he might have been involved with Bea’s and
Blanche’s death, and not just because I almost fucked up everything.
I’m the one lying to him, I’m the one who’s stolen from him, from everyone I’ve grown close to.
I’m the one who has pretended to be something she’s not.
I’m the one who has actually done something terrible.
I press my forehead to his damp chest, breathing in the scent of his soap. “I’m sorry,” I say again,
and after a long beat, I feel his hand rest gently on the back of my head. “And you were right, the other
night. I should’ve trusted you about John, I should’ve come to you—”
“It’s alright,” he murmurs, but I’m afraid that it’s not. That I’ve let all my suspicions and distrust
ruin this perfect thing I’ve found, this new life.
“Do you think it really was Tripp?” I ask him, still standing there in his arms, wanting him to tell
me that yes, he does. That it’s that awful, but that simple, and there’s an easy person to blame.
“I don’t want to think he could’ve done it,” he says. “How many times did I have that guy in my
house, or played golf with him, for fuck’s sake.” Another sigh, one I can feel as well as hear. “But he
and Blanche were having issues. God knows he drinks like a goddamn fish. If he was drunk and they
fought…”
He lets it trail off. I remember now how uneasy Tripp has made me feel. I’d never thought of it as
anything truly threatening, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t. Who could ever really know what someone
was capable of?
“The police are doing their job,” Eddie says, his hand still stroking the back of my head. “If they
Chapter 23 of “The Tenant of Wildfell Hall” by Anne Brontë narrates the protagonist’s reflections on her initial weeks of matrimony, mingling her current observations with concerns and reckonings about her husband, Arthur Huntingdon. Married and settled at Grassdale Manor, she admits that Arthur does not embody the ideal she once believed him to be. Despite this, she finds herself committed to loving him, driven by both a sense of duty and affection. Arthur’s fondness appears boundless yet superficial, likened to a fire of twigs—bright but potentially fleeting. She grapples with his selfishness, particularly evident during their honeymoon, which was rushed and centered around Arthur’s experiences and desires, neglecting her wish for deeper immersion in the cultures they briefly encountered.
Arthur’s predilection for his own pleasure over shared experiences continues to manifest, notably in his preference for quick gratification over shared spiritual growth. Helen, on the other hand, prioritizes her devotion to God, asserting that her love for Arthur cannot supersede her religious commitments. This dynamic generates tension, with Arthur showcasing a blend of jest and mild reproof towards Helen’s devoutness, which he views as a challenge to his place in her heart.
Their conversations reveal foundational differences in their personalities and values. Arthur, seemingly lighthearted and focused on immediate gratification, contrasts sharply with Helen’s depth of feeling and reflective nature. Helen perceives these differences not just with resignation but sees them as areas for potential growth, both for Arthur and within their marriage. She argues for a balance wherein Arthur’s lesser religious inclination would not deter him from being a good Christian and a joyous, loving husband.
Through these reflections and disputes, Brontë delves into themes of love, duty, and the complexities of matrimony. Helen’s narrative is both a candid acknowledgment of her marital disillusionment and a hopeful, if somewhat naïve, commitment to nurturing a profound and shared love, despite the emerging challenges and Arthur’s evident flaws.
The text-to-speech engine is an experimental browser feature. It might not always work as intended. On Android, you need the following app permissions for this to work:
[Microphone] and [Music and audio]
You can toggle selected features and styles per device/browser to boost performance. Some options may not be available.
[b]
Bold[/b]
of you to assume I have a plan.[i]
death[/i]
.[s]
[/s]
by this.[li]
bullets[/li]
.[img]
https://www.agine.this[/img]
[quote]
… me like my landlord![/quote]
[spoiler]
Spanish Inquisition![/spoiler]
[ins]
Insert[/ins]
more bad puns![del]
[/del]
your browser history!
0 Comments