Ballad: Peter The Wag

Policeman Peter, known for his playful and mischievous nature, is the central figure in this rollicking narrative. Peter, a man of law wrapped in the joys of his comical inclinations, relished leading the unsuspecting astray with his humor-laced guidance. When asked about the time, his responses were absurdly inaccurate, delighting in the confusion of the inquirer. His playful demeanor extended to the streets he patrolled, often sending people in completely wrong directions or involving himself in lighthearted interactions with citizens of every sort, from little boys to elderly ladies and even dignitaries and clergy.

Despite his antics, Peter wasn’t malicious by any means. His humor and the enjoyment of a good jest stemmed from a youthful spirit rather than any darker intent. However, his continual jesting and trickery were not without consequences. The public’s frustration with his pranks grew steadily, a collective discontent spreading across London, from Camberwell to Kew, Rotherhithe to Kentish Town. Yet, Peter, undeterred by the growing grumbles of disapproval, persisted with his jocular ways, feeding the simmering displeasure of the city’s residents.

The turning point in Peter’s tale came when his penchant for mischief led him into a predicament. One day, while too proud to seek assistance, he found himself hopelessly lost in the labyrinthine streets of Soho, close to Poland Street. This blunder became a spectacle, drawing Londoners from all corners to witness their erstwhile tormentor’s comeuppance. The news of Peter’s misfortune spread far and wide, attracting even those from remote areas to partake in the peculiar reversal of fortunes.

For weeks, Peter wandered the maze-like confines of Soho, his every attempt to extricate himself only deepening his entanglement. Streets such as Newport, Gerrard, Bear, Greek, Rupert, Frith, Dean, and Poland became his unwilling confines, culminating in his hapless pursuit of escape leading him into Golden Square. The irony of the situation was not lost on the onlookers: the very man who once directed countless others on fruitless journeys was now ensnared by his own inability to navigate a way out of his unintended predicament.