Chapter 6

In Chapter 6, Phoebe wakes up in a hotel room, surrounded by familiar scents that lead her to affirm her existence. It’s early morning, the party atmosphere has subsided, and she grapples with feelings of grief and shame that often accompany her at this hour. Acknowledging her painful thoughts, she resists the urge to fall into despair—especially after her recent suicide attempt.

Determined to take action, Phoebe thinks of small tasks to ground herself, declaring she can brush her teeth or hydrate. However, she soon finds that attempting to take a bath is thwarted by the absence of a drain stopper, which leads her to opt for the hotel’s hot tub instead. She prepares for a new experience, shedding her wedding ring and donning the plush hotel robe, inadvertently symbolizing her break from past constraints.

As she ventures downstairs, she notices the unsettling arrangement of books in the hotel lobby, instinctively correcting the spines, an act of defiance against the mundanity she perceives. Upon reaching the hot tub, she enters and feels the warmth melt away her weariness. A handsome man joins her, and they engage in lighthearted banter. This unexpected connection provides her a sense of relief as they trade witty remarks about their appearances and life experiences.

Their conversation takes a deeper turn when Phoebe candidly reveals her struggles with suicide, noting the absurdity of her situation amid the festivities of a wedding. The man responds empathetically, sharing his own struggles. Their dialogue blends humor and heartfelt truth, turning what could have been heavy into a bonding moment. They navigate topics of honesty, attraction, and their individual burdens while standing precariously close to a threshold of connection.

Phoebe realizes she desires intimacy, openly stating, “I want to fuck you.” The acknowledgment of desire lays bare the remnants of her former reservations about wanting something genuine. Their interaction culminates in a moment of truth that feels liberating for Phoebe, who enters a transformative phase as she reflects on her past while savoring the vibrant present. Concluding the chapter, she retrieves *Mrs. Dalloway* from a shelf, indicating a shift towards a new chapter in her life, embodying her rekindled curiosity about what lies ahead after pain and loss.