The Pact
Chapter 18: THEN: November 7, 1997
by Picoult, JodiThe chapter opens with Emily preparing for what appears to be a deliberate, final act. Fresh from a shower, she moves through her empty house, avoiding her reflection and leaving traces of herself for her parents. She contemplates writing a note but decides against it, fearing her parents would blame themselves. Instead, she retrieves a childhood memento—a lemon-juice message from her brother Chris—which symbolizes their deep bond and his past attempts to “save” her. The scene underscores Emily’s resolve and the weight of her decision, juxtaposed with fleeting nostalgia for simpler times.
Chris, meanwhile, grapples with overwhelming emotions as he assists Emily in her plan. He feels both powerless and hyper-focused, torn between wanting to save her and fulfilling their pact. His internal conflict is palpable: he oscillates between adolescent certainty and a desperate wish for adult intervention. The narrative highlights his shaky hands and racing thoughts, emphasizing the gravity of their agreement. Chris’s perspective reveals the surreal nature of their situation, where time feels distorted and the world seems to shrink around them.
The pair drive to a deserted carousel, a place laden with happy memories for Emily. She seeks comfort in familiar surroundings, touching the horses she and Chris once named. Her lack of fear contrasts with Chris’s turmoil; she views death as an escape from pain, while he struggles with the reality of their plan. When Emily asks to ride the carousel, Chris obliges, activating the machine as she clings to Delilah, a horse adorned with faux jewels. The carousel’s music and motion evoke a poignant memory of their childhood, symbolizing fleeting joy and innocence.
As the carousel spins, Emily’s tears and smile reflect a mix of liberation and sorrow. Chris watches, realizing this moment is pivotal—he must either follow through or intervene. The chapter ends on this cliffhanger, leaving his decision unresolved. The juxtaposition of Emily’s acceptance and Chris’s hesitation underscores the tragedy of their pact, blending nostalgia, love, and impending loss. The carousel, once a symbol of joy, now serves as the backdrop for their final, heart-wrenching confrontation.
FAQs
1. What internal conflict does Chris experience regarding Emily’s decision to end her life, and how does this manifest in his behavior?
Answer:
Chris is torn between wanting to save Emily’s life and feeling compelled to honor their pact. This paralyzing conflict manifests physically (he sits on his shaking hands) and emotionally (he oscillates between adolescent grandiosity and a childlike desire for adult intervention). The chapter reveals his cognitive dissonance: he frames it as a “competition he must win” yet acknowledges “no one dies at the end of a race.” His perception of time becomes distorted, wishing simultaneously to fast-forward through the pain and linger in denial, exemplified when driving feels like “the road was crumbling beneath him.”2. Analyze the symbolic significance of the carousel setting. How does it reflect Emily’s emotional state and intentions?
Answer:
The carousel represents Emily’s paradoxical mindset—a place of childhood joy now repurposed for her final act. Her deliberate selection of this location demonstrates her desire to “take with her all the best things about the world,” particularly memories with Chris. The named horses (Delilah, Tulip, etc.) symbolize personal history, while the machine’s slowing mechanics mirror her waning will to live. Notably, she chooses dusk—a transitional time—when the carousel moves in “slow motion,” reflecting her suspended state between life and death. The calliope music contrasts starkly with her grim purpose, heightening the tragedy.3. How does the discovered childhood note (“I am coming to save you”) create dramatic irony in the present situation?
Answer:
The lemon-juice message underscores the tragic reversal of roles. Where 10-year-old Chris literally attempted to rescue Emily (resulting in his broken arm), now 17-year-old Chris is “saving her by letting her go”—facilitating her suicide. The note’s phrasing mirrors the current dilemma, but with inverted meaning: childhood heroism becomes tragic complicity. Emily’s physical crumpling of the paper mirrors her psychological dismissal of past salvation. This artifact highlights how their bond, once life-affirming (the tin-can pulley system, shared adventures), now enables self-destruction.4. What sensory and behavioral details reveal Emily’s complex relationship with her body and environment?
Answer:
Emily demonstrates both detachment from and hyper-awareness of her physical being. She avoids mirrors (“careful not to look at the flat plane of her stomach”), yet moves nude through the house—a rebellion against bodily shame. Her tactile actions are telling: violently towel-drying her body, but tenderly arranging Chris’s sweatshirt. She preserves domestic rituals (leaving dirty clothes for parents) while preparing to shatter normalcy. The gun inspection scene shows paradoxical reverence—hesitation followed by a sensual tracing of the barrel—blurring lines between self-harm and self-possession.5. Evaluate how the narrative structure builds suspense regarding the unresolved ending.
Answer:
The chapter employs three suspense techniques: (1) Interrupted action (“Either he…” cuts mid-thought), leaving Chris’s critical decision unknown; (2) Contrasting timelines—childhood flashbacks against present urgency; (3) Environmental foreshadowing (the “snowballing” metaphor, crumbling road imagery). The carousel’s accelerating motion parallels rising tension, while Emily’s apparent euphoria (“smiling through tears”) creates unsettling ambiguity about whether this is a farewell to pain or to life. Chris’s perspective (“someone changed the play’s plot”) positions readers to question if he’ll deviate from Emily’s script.
Quotes
1. “What did you say to the people who had given you life, when you were about to intentionally throw that gift away? With a sigh, Emily threw down the pencil. You didn’t. You didn’t say anything, because they’d read between the lines for what you left out, and believe that it was all their fault.”
This quote captures Emily’s internal conflict about suicide and the guilt she feels toward her parents. It reveals her painful awareness of how her actions will be interpreted, even in silence.
2. “He was paralyzed by indecision—believing with all the unshakable drama of adolescence that he could handle something as enormous as this, and at the same time wanting to whisper the truth in his mother’s ear so that she could make it go away.”
This passage perfectly encapsulates Chris’s adolescent turmoil as he grapples with helping Emily die. It shows the contradiction between his desire to be capable and his longing for adult intervention.
3. “She just wanted to end it before other people she loved were hurt as badly as she was.”
This simple statement reveals Emily’s distorted but self-sacrificial reasoning for suicide. It shows how her pain has warped her perception of love and protection.
4. “Chris pulled out of her driveway feeling as if someone had changed the plot of a play he was acting in, forgetting to mention it to him.”
This metaphor powerfully conveys Chris’s sense of disorientation and powerlessness in the situation. It highlights how life has suddenly become unreal and scripted beyond his control.
5. “But most of all she remembered that moment when they were both convinced they were flying.”
This poignant memory contrasts sharply with Emily’s current despair, showing what she’s choosing to leave behind. The imagery of temporary, youthful joy makes her impending death more tragic.