The Pact
Chapter 16: THEN: October 1997
by Picoult, JodiThe chapter opens with Emily confessing her suicidal thoughts to Chris during a car ride home in October 1997. Initially, Chris dismisses her words, laughing or ignoring them, but the third time, he finally listens. Emily’s exhaustion and erratic sleep patterns hint at her emotional turmoil, though Chris initially overlooks these signs. As she sleeps in the car, he observes her fragility, unaware of the depth of her despair. When she wakes and breaks down crying, her cryptic remark—“You’re what I’m going to miss”—triggers Chris’s alarm, forcing him to confront the reality of her distress.
Chris struggles to process Emily’s admission that she no longer wants to live. His disbelief and panic escalate as she reveals her pain is constant, not a fleeting mood. Emily insists she can’t explain the reasons but emphasizes her trust in Chris as the only person who would listen without judgment. The chapter highlights the gap between adolescent struggles and adult perspectives, as Chris reflects on how adults often trivialize teenage emotions. He recognizes Emily’s vulnerability and his own role as her confidant, torn between respecting her trust and intervening to save her.
The tension rises as Chris grapples with the weight of Emily’s secret. He suggests involving her parents or a professional, but Emily pleads with him not to, fearing they won’t understand. Chris feels both honored and terrified by her reliance on him, realizing the gravity of the situation. Emily describes her suicidal thoughts as a relief, likening them to medicine numbing unbearable pain. Her vague references to “everything” hurting—her head, her heart—deepen Chris’s confusion, but she reassures him he isn’t the cause.
The chapter ends with Chris torn between loyalty and action. He questions whether keeping her secret makes him complicit, while Emily desperately seeks his promise not to tell anyone. Their emotional confrontation underscores the isolation of depression and the helplessness of those trying to support loved ones. The scene leaves their conflict unresolved, emphasizing the complexity of mental health struggles and the limits of love alone to “fix” them.
FAQs
1. How does Chris initially react to Emily’s statements about wanting to kill herself, and how does his reaction evolve throughout the chapter?
Answer:
Chris’s reactions progress through three distinct stages. Initially, he laughs off Emily’s first mention of suicide, treating it as a joke. When she brings it up a second time, he deliberately ignores it, pretending not to hear. By the third instance—during their car ride—he finally engages seriously, though with visible distress. This evolution mirrors his growing awareness of Emily’s crisis, transitioning from dismissal to reluctant acknowledgment (“He saw what he had been trying so hard not to see”). His eventual panic (“his voice high and freaked out”) underscores the gravity of the situation.2. Analyze the significance of Emily’s statement: “You’re what I’m going to miss.” How does this reveal her emotional state and relationship with Chris?
Answer:
Emily’s phrasing suggests she views her suicide as an inevitability rather than a hypothetical, emphasizing permanence (“going to miss”) rather than temporary separation. This contrasts with Chris’s assumption she’s referencing college visits, highlighting their disconnect. The statement also reveals her deep attachment to Chris—he represents the sole positive worth preserving in her life. However, her inability to articulate her pain (“I can’t tell you”) while insisting on their honesty underscores her isolation, even within their intimate relationship. Her emotional state is one of resigned despair, clinging to Chris as her only tether.3. What does the chapter suggest about adolescent struggles and adult perceptions through Chris’s internal reflections?
Answer:
Chris’s thoughts critique how adults minimize teenage suffering (“light-years away… rolled their eyes”). He compares adolescence to a “disease” adults misremember as trivial, contrasting it with his visceral experiences—nights of existential dread and days feeling “like he could not fit inside his own skin.” This metaphorical language captures the intensity of adolescent emotions, framing them as legitimate crises rather than melodrama. The passage implies a generational gap in understanding mental health, with adults dismissing what teens experience as life-or-death turmoil, exacerbating feelings of alienation.4. How does the author use physical descriptions to underscore Emily’s vulnerability and Chris’s protective instincts?
Answer:
Physical details emphasize Emily’s fragility: her “blue veins” visible in her ears, the “deep red furrow” from Chris’s belt, and her exhausted sleeping habits. These images paint her as physically and emotionally depleted. Conversely, Chris’s actions—cradling her head, tracing her ear, and “crush[ing] her against his chest”—highlight his desperate protectiveness. The stick shift’s “hard knot” between them becomes a metaphor for the emotional barriers complicating their connection. The car itself functions as a confined space where intimacy and crisis collide, with tactile details (warmth, weight) grounding their emotional exchange in sensory reality.5. Evaluate the ethical dilemma Chris faces when Emily asks him to keep her suicidal intentions secret. What conflicting responsibilities does he grapple with?
Answer:
Chris is torn between honoring Emily’s trust (“you’ll listen”) and intervening to save her life (“I’m going to talk to your parents”). His desire to be her “savior” conflicts with recognizing the situation’s severity (“This was much bigger than the two of them”). The chapter frames this as a crisis of loyalty versus moral duty—he wants to preserve their honest relationship but realizes silence might enable her plans. His panic (“I cannot believe I’m even talking about this”) reveals his awareness that passive support could be dangerous, yet Emily’s terror at involving adults (“They won’t get it”) complicates his decision, mirroring real-world struggles in suicide intervention.
Quotes
1. “The first time Emily told Chris she wanted to kill herself, Chris laughed. The second time, he pretended he didn’t hear. The third time, he listened.”
This opening sequence powerfully introduces the chapter’s central conflict—Emily’s suicidal ideation and Chris’s gradual realization of its seriousness. The progression from dismissal to attention sets the tone for their emotional journey.
2. “I don’t want to be here… I don’t want to be.”
Emily’s haunting repetition captures the essence of her despair while avoiding direct mention of suicide. The phrasing reflects both her existential pain and the difficulty of articulating her intentions, marking a pivotal moment in the conversation.
3. “At seventeen, the smallest crises took on tremendous proportions; someone else’s thoughts could take root in the loam of your own mind; having someone accept you was as vital as oxygen.”
This insightful narration explains adolescent psychology and the chapter’s deeper theme about the intensity of teenage experience. It provides crucial context for understanding why Emily confides in Chris rather than adults.
4. “Tonight is the first night in—God, I don’t know how long—that I’ve felt like I can handle this. It’s like a really bad pain that you can take, you know, because you’ve already swallowed the medicine and you can see that it’s going to stop hurting soon.”
Emily’s disturbing metaphor reveals her twisted sense of relief in having made her decision. The quote is particularly impactful as it shows how suicidal ideation can paradoxically feel like a solution to emotional pain.
5. “Promise me…”
The chapter’s abrupt ending with this unfinished plea creates dramatic tension while encapsulating the central dilemma—Emily’s demand for secrecy versus Chris’s moral obligation to intervene. The incomplete sentence mirrors the unresolved nature of their crisis.